Headlong Toward Disaster
by Peyt fan 4ever
Summary: The space was suppose to bring them back together better than ever. Not pull them apart further and lead him into the arms of another. She doesn't know why she ever suggested it. All she knows now is she's alone and he's apparently making out with other girls on the apparatus floor. She's not sure how she's going to do this all on her own. She's having his child and he's moving on.
1. Alone

**I'm not really sure how long this will be, it could be a two or three part, or I might make it a little short story. We'll see where my muse takes me and how you all like it. **

**This thought hit me after watching the last episode of Chicago Fire over and it just kind of wrote itself.**

**Follows the storyline of the last episode pretty much to a tee, but has its own twist. **

**Let me know what you think in a review!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing… Although I wouldn't mind owning my own Lt. Casey or Severide…_

_**Dawson**_

I couldn't believe this was happening. All my life I had wanted to be a mother. It was just something that I always looked forward too.

For the past 8 years, since the very moment I laid eyes on Matthew Casey, I wanted him… those blue eyes and that perfect grin drawling me in from the first introduction. It was always just there, a connection between the two of us.

I've wanted him from the start… and I wanted _him_ to be the father to those future babies that I would mother.

We knew from the beginning that we both wanted children. It was ultimately what had ended Casey and Hallie before her untimely death.

It was a conversation we had had once, more of an offhand comment that turned into conversation. We never put a timeline on it, but we were on the same page, and we made comments about someday, and that we weren't getting any younger.

Matt wanted to be a father, and he had for a while now.

The two little sticks of plastic sitting in front of me with a smiley face on one and a plus sign on the other, as I locked myself away in Brett and I's bathroom only confirmed for me that Matt _would_ be a father… and that I would be a mother.

I cried.

I cried because I was happy, because becoming a mother was a dream come true. I cried because I couldn't wait to hold this little baby in my arms. I cried because Matt and I were going to be parents, together.

And then I cried because the problem was Matt and I were going to be parents… but we weren't _together._ And we hadn't been for a few months now… A new batch of tears hit me and they were all for the relationship that we had lost. The one that we both worked so hard to get too, but let go so easily. The relationship that was all I had ever wanted, but I let it go… and I cried even more knowing that Matt had let _me_ go.

We were so far from the people we use to be. There was a glimpse of hope for us the other day on shift. When baby Grace had showed up at the firehouse in the midst of the polar vortex that raged outside.

Matt and I had bonded over that little girl, and for a moment I could see us getting back to the old us. For that shift it seemed like we could get it all back. That all hope wasn't lost.

It had felt good. Great even.

But it was also the arrival of baby Grace into our lives that led me to the realization that I was in now.

After spending the rest of my day in the hospital waiting for Grace's family I went home and lay in bed that night. A million thoughts on my mind, all of them circling around Casey, and our life together that had once seemed so bright… but there was one thought that came to my mind and hit me like a ton of bricks. A thought that I couldn't believe I was just now realizing.

I was late…

Close to 3 months late…

I hadn't even realized it. Not once. I had been so stressed over the break up with Casey, and then with tracking down Shay's murderer, so much had happened over the past couple of months.

That night I fell into a restless sleep with images of a beautiful little girl with fair skin and brown hair and blue eyes, eyes that matched those of her Daddy.

I'd gone to the store the next day and bought the 2 different tests. I kept telling myself this wasn't happening. That it was just stress related. It couldn't be possible that after over a year of being together Casey and I would just so happen to get pregnant right before we broke up.

Life plays cruel tricks on you like that I guess.

I tried thinking of the last time we had even been together, the tension was so thick between us before we broke up. We had hardly slept in the same bed at the same time (me working long hours at Molly's or Matt off at a construction job or out with Severide), let alone actually _slept_ together.

There was a knock on the bathroom door and Brett was calling out asking if I was okay. I cleared my throat quickly, knowing she would hear the catch in my voice if I didn't, and hollered out that I was fine and that I'd be right out. That seemed to satisfy her because I heard her moving back to the kitchen where Cruz was surely sat at the table finishing off the dinner I had made.

I got up from the floor and stuffed the positive tests back into box and hid them back in the sack before pulling myself up from the floor and looking in the mirror.

My eyes were red and irritated and I realized quickly I was more use to this look on my features than I was a smile or light in my eyes, but I quickly shook that thought, it was far too depressing of a thing to think.

I splashed some water on my face and took a few moments to compose myself before leaving the bathroom for my room to hide the tests and then going back to the kitchen where I replaced my beer that I had been drinking with some apple juice.

Brett and Cruz both raised their brows at me and I easily lied, telling them I wasn't feeling well and that I was heading off to bed early.

I dialed the doctor's office once I was in my room and changed into some pajamas and they set me up for an appointment the day after next, right when my shift ended.

The next shift was a whirlwind of Boden leaving, the replacement Chief that none of us were too happy about swooping in and leaving a sour taste in our mouths, and of course Welch.

When he cornered my on my way to the locker room and made comments about Casey and I being together I had to bite my tongue at lashing out and telling him we may still be together if he hadn't have been an ass and just let me work on 66, but I had held back and walked away. He wasn't worth the fight, and I knew that I couldn't blame him for Casey and I's mistakes.

I went the doctor appointment alone the next day after a long shift, where they drew blood and took urine and I was sent on my way with a promise of a call later that day or the next.

When I got home and tried doing the dishes and was frustrated to see the hose to the sink not working, _again_, Matt was the first person I thought of to come fix it. Brett wasn't as keen on the idea, saying I needed to try and date, and that space was good for the both of us. I hadn't listened, and I sent her on her way for some beer and called up Casey, he was over in 20 minutes.

I watched him work and it was nice. If I really was pregnant I knew I had to tell him, but I wanted to make sure it was confirmed by a doctor before I said anything. Spending time with him was just nice. At least I knew that the connection was still there, the time apart had been good. Maybe this baby wouldn't be the only thing that brought us back together, maybe it would just be our connection after all.

The water he sprayed on himself while _'fixing'_ the sink had me doubled over in laughter and him scowling at me, but I couldn't help but stare when he lifted his shirt up a little and rung it out in the sink. The bottom of his formed abs on full display had me weak in the knees and thinking things that were not helping my already rapid beating heart.

I watched him dry himself off and we continued to joke and laugh for the next 20 minutes while he continues to try and fix the sink. When he had finally succeeded I walked over to check it out and the close proximity has my breathing shallow, when I look up at him to thank him he's right next to me and if I stood on my tiptoes and leaned just a little closer our lips would be touching. He's staring at me and I subconsciously lick my lips and I watch his eyes dart to my mouth before his eyes find mine again. I've just about got the courage worked up and then the door is open and Brett is calling out that she brought the beer and we are jumping apart.

Casey stay's for another hour and sips a beer with Brett. I have one in my hand but I don't take a drink, and neither seems to notice. I knew if I would have declined the beer the both of them would be looking at me with questioning and concern and I really wanted to avoid both those looks until I knew for sure.

Brett and Casey talk more than I utter a word, I'm too lost in thought of the feeling of Matt pressed against me and the thoughts of what would have happened if Brett hadn't have come home.

The thought of being pregnant with Matt Casey's baby isn't so scary right now… I'm still terrified to tell him, but I'm thinking maybe we can get back to those people who were so in love. Maybe we've always been those people, we just got a little lost along the way, and maybe we can find our way back.

And maybe the little life I could be carrying can help us get back to that place.

Brett and I go out for a movie later that night and I don't realize I've left my cell phone at home until we are in the movie theater.

I check it the instant I'm back through the door that night and the voicemail that pops up from the doctor's office has my heart hammering in my chest and my hands shaking uncontrollably.

I hold the phone to my ear as warm maternal voice floats through.

"_Miss Dawson, this is Dr. Jenson at the clinic. Your tests just came back… Congratulations, you're pregnant…" _

I vaguely hear the doctor talking about calling back to set up an appointment and congratulating me once more before the line goes dead and the phone drops from my hands and my hand comes to rest over my stomach and the tears flow down my cheeks.

I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby.

Despite the tears and the shaking of my hands a smile slowly falls onto my features and I can't help the little laugh that leaves my lips. This is unbelievable. I'm going to be a Mom… and despite all of Casey and I's problems I let myself be happy about that.

I'm going to be a mom, and it's all I've ever really wanted.

When I wake up the next morning my hands on my stomach and there is a genuine smile on my lips for the first time in a while.

Brett quickly picks up on my smile and asks me what has got me so perky this morning.

I can only shrug. "I just think it's going to be a good day."

Brett smiles at me and raises her coffee. I debate a glass of coffee and go for the orange juice instead. I know I have already made some drinking choices that had I known I was pregnant, I wouldn't have. I'm not exactly sure how far along I am, I just know that I have to be getting pretty close to 12 weeks, if not a little over that, given the time line and that Casey and I haven't been together in at least that long. I'm just glad I never drowned myself in the bottle over the past couple of weeks. A drink or a shot here or there, but never an all-night drinking extravaganza, as much as some night I would have loved too, I'm glad I didn't now. I silently vow to make sure I am as healthy as possible throughout this pregnancy.

I call the doctor in my car on the way to 51 and set up and appointment with the doctor in a few days and I let myself smile again because maybe for once in the past couple months I'm catching a break. I've never been one to sit and wallow in the shambles my life was in, or in the things that had happened to me, but it's easy to admit that the past months have been some of the hardest of my life. Between losing Shay and the guilt that I still feel, and breaking up with Matt, to becoming a Candidate, being targeted by the arsonist, and so much more in between… it's been rough. The feeling that maybe things are looking up is something that I am choosing to cling too. That feeling and this baby are all I got right now. I think that maybe this time tomorrow morning I'll have Matt back too. And that is a great feeling.

I walk into the firehouse and spot Casey immediately. He sends me a little smile and I return it before going to the locker room to change my clothes. The next time I see him I'm on my way over to ask him for breakfast tomorrow after shift so we can talk, but the bells ring and we are off before I can say a thing. I love this job and all, but sometimes it has the worst timing.

Half the shift passes and I still haven't been able to talk to Casey yet, we've had calls and one big call to a fire that had Otis trapped inside. After a spat with the new Chief, Casey and Severide were sent to clean the windows and from my place on the apparatus floor I can see him above me on the ladder by Severide. I make a quick mental note of how much I really love him in that beanie he's been wearing so much this winter and have to hide my blush from the men in the garage, knowing they'd give me crap if they ever took notice.

When Welch comes up to me to talk I can't help but roll my eyes. This guy has some nerve coming to 51 and thinking that we would welcome him with open arms after all he did not only to this house, and to me personally. I'd never trust the guy, and I really don't think I'll ever give him the time of day.

Despite the fact that he complimented me on my save, I still couldn't bring myself to be nice to him. I really owed him nothing.

"Hey look, I know we got our history all right, but I just want this job to work."

I contemplate not answering him again, but I decide to throw him a bone. "Well it's not going to if we don't feel like you got our backs."

He nods and I look back to my paper work for a moment before he starts speaking again and my eyes meet his. "Okay. How's this? I'm sorry I didn't take you at your word the other day about you and Casey splitting up." I look away for a moment, it'll never get easier to hear anything regarding Casey and I and our break up, I really don't understand why Welch of all people would be bringing it up. "I believe you now. But you should let your Lieutenant know that he can't be making out with the Chief's ex on the apparatus floor. Or Prigden will destroy him."

I purse my lips. What the hell is he talking about… he's lying. He has to be lying. He stands there for a moment longer and then he walks away and I'm left there with a feeling in my stomach that I can't explain. He has to be lying... Right?

I look up at Matt and he's staring down at my through the window and the look on his face tells me one thing…

Welch isn't lying…

Tears are instantly burning in my eyes, but there is an anger in me that I can't even began to explain.

I shake my head willing the tears to leave, but they don't and I know I need to walk away before any of the guys, especially Casey, can see me cry. I throw the pen I had been clutching in my hand down and rush away. Heading straight for the locker room in a furry, slamming doors and not really caring who sees.

The tears are flowing down my cheeks and I lean against the lockers for support. I'm so mad, and angry, and hurt. How could he do this? Had I been an idiot to all signs I thought I was seeing?

My hand slams against the locker door in frustration and I turn and sink down against them, pulling my knees to my chest as the tears flow. This can't be happening.

Matt and I were supposed to work it out, the space was supposed to bring us back together, not drive Matt into the arms of someone else.

Then a realization hits me.

Matt's moving on and I'm all alone holding onto something that he clearly doesn't want and that thought brings a whole new batch of tears to my eyes that are quickly rolling down my cheeks.

I'm pregnant with his child and he's got someone else now.

And I've never felt more alone in my life…

**Review and let me know if I should continue!**

**I'm working on an update to 'After The Smoke Clears'… should hopefully be up in a few days. **


	2. Hell Of A Ride

**A/N:**** Sorry this took a while, but I really wanted to see what the show's aftermath was going to be for the whole Casey/Beth/Dawson fiasco… and I've got to say I was a little disappointed. It's so obvious Casey and Dawson are kidding themselves and trying to bury their feelings for the other, but I honestly could've gone with a little more fight from Dawson. I don't know how much time has passed by the shows standards, but everyone makes it seem like Casey and Dawson haven't been split up for too long and Casey jumped into bed with someone else so soon. I personally wouldn't be okay with that situation, and the Dawson in this story (while pregnancy does make her a little extra emotional, haha) is NOT okay with it either. **

**This is really the only story I have some inspiration for at the moment, but I hope to update After The Smoke Clears soon, I promise I am working on it, it is just a slow process right now. I'm also working on another story and another one shot, so be prepared for those eventually. **

**But most importantly. HOLY 38 REVIEWS GUYS! You are all so amazing and I can NOT believe your response to this story. Thank you thank you thank you! You blew me away, which is why I have been working hard on this update, so I hope you all like it. **

**Enjoy!**

Disclaimer: I own nothing, only the little peanut that is growing like a weed in Mama Dawson's tummy. If I did own Chicago Fire Shay would come back from the dead and kick Matt and Gabby's butts for not being together right now. K? K. Don't we all wish I owned it? Lol.

_**Casey**_

I watch Welch walk up to Gabby and I can feel the dread set in right away. Was he going to tell her what he saw? What all had he even seen? Had he heard anything? Had he heard me tell Beth that I didn't want to be with her? Had he seen Beth kiss me? Did he see me push her away?

All these questions swam in my mind as I watched on through the windows, looking down on the two. I could see Gabby's defensive stance from a mile away. The way she clenched her jaw. Her hands clutching the table and her eyes cold. She doesn't take this stance often. She is usually a very approachable person to most. She's kind and genuine, and beautiful… So beautiful.

I'm drawn back to their conversation when I see Gabby tense considerably. What did he tell her? They stare off for a moment before Welch walks away and I see Gabby deflate. As if all the breath and life had been sucked out of her.

She knows…

She looks up at me and I can see it in her eyes. The shock, the hurt, the anger, I knew it would be there when she found out, I also knew there was no way I could ever prepare myself to see that look on Gabby's face. To see the pain there and know that I was the one who caused it.

She throws her pen down and storms away and I can already see the tears in her eyes and I'm mentally kicking myself. It doesn't matter if we are together or apart anymore, either way I hurt her.

I was so tired of being the one that hurt her.

Kelly and I finished the windows without any calls and I didn't see Dawson again until a few hours later when she was calling everyone to supper, she had successfully dodged me in what I considered to not be that big of a house. Even at supper she ignored me. The one time my eyes did meet her I had to look away. Though I'm sure most of the guys didn't notice, her eyes were bloodshot, and I could tell she had been crying. Her eyes holding a sadness that I forever hated to see. The hurt was still there, not that I could blame her, I couldn't imagine finding out that she had been with anyone else, especially finding it out from someone like Welch.

I tried putting myself in her shoes, and tried understanding how she felt, but I couldn't.

The thought of how she was feeling right now was too much, I couldn't fathom it.

I felt terrible. I realized I wanted Dawson too late, and I hurt her in the process by going after Beth. If I wouldn't have felt like I needed to prove that I could get over Dawson I would have never went after Beth in the first place. And now I doubt it if Dawson ever forgives me. Truth is, I don't really feel like I deserve her forgiveness.

We may not have been together, but she still should have heard it from me.

Screw that, she shouldn't have heard it from anyone, because it should have never happened.

She deserves more than all this. All this heartache that she has experienced in such a short amount of time.

It's not fair to her… and I caused quite a bit of it for her.

_**Dawson**_

Ignoring Casey was becoming harder and harder as the shift drug on. I should have expected that he would try and talk to me, but I just couldn't right now.

I couldn't face him. I couldn't deal with all of this.

I knew I didn't need the stress right now. The baby didn't need the stress. It was hard enough thinking about it all, I didn't need to talk to Casey and get myself even more worked up then I already was.

I missed him, so much.

I thought the talk we had at the restaurant after Shay's memorial was an agreement to put us on hold… To me that meant there was hope for us. That this was just a break and that we would find our way back to each other when the time was right.

I never would have thought that Matt would find his way to someone else. I hadn't even thought about dating or finding someone new. All I wanted was Matt. He is all I've ever wanted.

I guess I blew it…

I was focused on the job. Being a firefighter is something I've wanted since before I even met Matt… but Matt still meant more to me than the job. And I was an idiot for losing sight of that along the way.

But it was too late now, I couldn't take it back.

I love Matt, and I love what I do. I never should have had to choose between the two. But Matt was so distant… Every day was a new struggle and I felt like even quitting the job at that point wasn't something that could fix us. We were in too deep. With our relationship, and with our job. We couldn't separate the two and that was the problem.

I'd felt like Matt was pushing me away… Like he didn't want to be with me anymore. I tried talking and he opted out. Everything was a mess. Our home life. Our work life. Everything. We couldn't get a handle on it and I ran.

We were driving 100mph with no breaks.

We were endangering the lives of not only any victims that came in our way, but also the men that we worked with.

It wasn't fair to them too keep it the way it was. We need some space to get over all the arguing that had happened over the past few weeks. We needed to find a professional relationship outside of our actual relationship. We'd become different people in a blink of an eye. We needed to find ourselves again. Only then could we work it out.

The problem was without Matt I felt like I was losing myself. He'd been such a big part of my life for so long. The biggest part of it for the past 2 years almost.

A decision that I thought was helping us, the house, everything; was what ruined us.

And now I was pregnant with his baby and he was moving on, forgetting about me.

I look across the table as laughter starts up between the guys, a joke that I had missed out on while pushing the food on my plate back and forth. I throw them a small smile when I get a few odd looks for my quietness before getting up and dumbing my plate.

I couldn't be around Casey anymore. I felt like my emotions were everywhere and I didn't know whether to blame that on the pregnancy, Welch for dropping that bomb on me, or Casey. Which I guess the pregnancy and Welch's big mouth were both Casey's fault in a roundabout way, so maybe blaming him was the easiest.

I've barely made into the hall when I hear someone behind me. "Gabby…"

I freeze momentarily. My first time hearing my first name on his lips in so long. I quickly shake it off, and keep walking, not bothering to turn back.

"Gabby please…"

"Don't." I cut him off forcefully as I continue walking hoping he will get the hint.

"Gabs…"

I'm cutting him off again, not wanting to hear anything he has to say right now. I can't deal with this. "Leave me alone, Casey."

His hand on my arm turning me has me whirling around. Pulling my arms from his grip as if it had been burned… In some ways it felt like it had.

"Don't touch me!"

"Gabby…"

"No! Leave me the hell alone Casey."

His eyes are pleading with me and I can feel the tears in my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall, not in front of him. He doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing them.

"I'm sorry…"

I shake my head and turn to leave, I can't… I can't do this with him… It's too much.

"Gabby." He reaches for my hand again but I step away putting my hands up to stop him.

"Stay away from me."

Two figures stepping into the hall has us both whirling around.

"Everything all right in here?" Prigden asked, giving us both a weary look.

"All good Chief." Casey quickly answers, sharing a look with Hermann who was standing behind the Chief, looking even more confused than the Chief himself.

I'm frozen to my place not sure what to do. My body is still shaking from the interaction from Matt. I can still feel the tears in my eyes and the tightness in my throat, but I'm trying to ignore them both.

Casey nods at me and I take that as my cue to leave, rushing off for the bathroom. Away from any prying eyes I finally let the tears fall.

My hand comes to rest on my still flat stomach and I suck in a breath. Trying to control my raged breathing and calm myself down.

How was I supposed to see him every day and act like everything was okay?

_**Matt**_

Prigden stared me down for a moment, his arms crossed and an odd look on his face.

"Something wrong with your Candidate, Lieutenant?" His voice has no concern for Gabby and more curiosity as to whether he could find something else to use against me.

I take a defensive stance, arms crossing to match his. "All good Chief."

He takes a step towards me, his height giving him a few inches on me making him look more intimidating than I felt he was. "You know Lieutenant, if there is something going on here, I have my ways of finding out."

I feel my blood boil, this guy really knew how to get to me. "Well you have nothing to worry about here, _Chief_."

Connie walks down the hall and pauses half way before hollering down to Prigden that he had a phone call in his office and after another few moments of starring off he shakes his head and walks away.

Hermann stares at me from where he'd been leaning against the door frame with a raised brow. "You wanna tell me what all of that was about?" He asks in his raspy voice.

I shake my head as I pace back and forth, still feeling my blood boil from the Chiefs words… he had some nerve.

Hermann gives me another look and I stop my pacing and turn towards him, heaving a sigh. "Any idea when Boden is coming back?" I try to joke, but he knows I am serious.

Hermann looks down the hall where Prigden had just left and shakes his head. "Not soon enough at this rate." He grumbles.

When shift ends I don't think I have ever felt more relieved in my life. We have 4 days off before the next shift and I know I need to take this time to cool down and do some thinking.

I really messed up with this Beth thing, not only with Gabby, but possibly with my career if Prigden finds out. He clearly already has it in for me.

I'm waiting outside by Severide's car, we rode together that morning, when Gabby walks out. She's on her phone and she isn't paying much attention, so when she looks up half way down the drive and meets my eyes she stops in her place. I start walking towards her, maybe she will finally listen to what I have to say. Lord knows what Welch has even told her at this point. She deserves the truth, not that I think that will really make her feel much better, the truth didn't make me feel any better.

She hasn't ran away yet and I take that as a good sign.

When I come to stand in front of her, I'm not sure what to even say. What could I say to make this better? To fix this?

She won't meet my eyes, but I can see the sad and lost look in hers and I feel my heart breaking for her. She really doesn't deserve any of this. Life has dealt her a hard hand this year, and she has took it all and fought back, tried to hold her head high and be strong. I was beginning to wonder how much more she could take.

We all have a breaking point after all.

"Listen, Gabby, I…"

"Hey girly." My words are paused by a bubbly Sylvie bounding up too Gabby. She meets my eyes for a moment, and that is enough to let me know that whatever Welch told Gabby, Sylvie knows, and she has clearly taken Gabby's side. Well there aren't really 'sides' in the matter, but it is clear Sylvie has Gabby's back.

The blonde doesn't spare me a second glance before hooking her arm through Gabby's. "You ready to go?" She questions. She reminds me so much of Shay in this moment that it is hard to even look at her. Feisty, but sweet in her own way, fiercely loyal to her friend, and protective. She was clearly protective of Gabby. I'm kind of glad about that, Gabby needs a friend like Sylvie. Though no one could ever replace Shay's place in any of our hearts, we all did love Sylvie, and I found myself feeling relieved that Gabby had found such a great friend in the little blonde.

Gabby looks between us for a moment, her thoughts obviously running a mile a minute before she looks at Sylvie and shakes her head. "Yeah, I'm ready." Her voice is soft, a complete opposite too Sylvie's chirpy self.

They walk down the drive to Sylvie's car and Gabby throws one look over her shoulder before she gets into the car leaving me standing there wondering if there was anything left to fix…

_**Gabby**_

"Ms. Dawson how are you feeling?"

Dr. Jenson was a nice woman in her early fifties. She was petite with pale skin and green eyes her hair was dark blonde and you could see the grey hairs popping out from what I assumed was many stressful years on the job.

I wondered how long it would be before my dark hair was full of some grey of its own.

If the stress of the past year had any affect I figured by next year I'd be full grey.

I smile politely at the elder woman, shaking that thought off. "I've been good."

"Good. Any morning sickness, mood swings, tiredness?" She questioned.

I shook my head. "Maybe some mood swings, but no unusual tiredness, and thankfully no morning sickness."

"Good, good."

The Doctor fiddled with some things on the machine and I fidgeted nervously on the bed.

"You ready for this?" She questioned with a smile, gesturing to the ultrasound machine.

I nodded with a small smile and laid back on the bed.

"Are we expecting anyone else?" Dr. Jenson asked politely.

I shook my head. "No, uh, it's just me…" I said softly, thinking about that statement more than I should.

I hadn't told anyone yet. Not Brett, not Antonio, not my parents, and especially not Casey. I was alone, and it was something I had gotten use too lately.

The Doctor gave me an apologetic smile before lifting my shirt. I couldn't help but shiver as the blue gel hit my bare stomach, goose bumps rising on my skin.

"Yeah that's about everyone's reaction." Dr. Jenson laughed softly.

I smiled and looked nervously at the machine as she moved the wand around my stomach slowly.

"Now this should tell us about how far along you are and give us a good idea on your due date."

Silence filled the room for a moment before the doctor continued. "This is your first ultrasound?" She questioned and I nodded silently, anxious to see my baby.

The black and white screen slowly started to form, and soon I could see the outline of my little baby, my breathe catching in my throat at the sight. "Well it looks like you are right about 11 weeks…"

"That there is the head, and there are its hands, and feet…" The doctor pointed around to the little body parts on the screen and I smiled softly a tear falling down my cheek at the glorious sight before me.

"Wow…" I breathed out. In awe at the little peanut before me.

"It's about one and a half inches right now, Pretty soon you'll be able to see it's little fingers and toes." She smiled down at me before looking back up at the screen. "Do you want to hear the heartbeat?" She asked softly.

I looked up at her in awe, my eyes still full of happy tears. "Can I?" I question eagerly.

Dr. Jenson smiled and chuckled softly before nodding. Working with a few of the buttons.

Then a soft steady rhythm filled the room that had the tears in my eyes cascading down my cheeks. Dr. Jenson pointed to the flicker on the screen. "That right there is your baby's heartbeat."

A fresh set of tears slid down my cheeks.

A few days ago I had never felt more alone. Today, I knew I wasn't alone. I had my little baby too look out for. Right now that was all the mattered.

The doctor left the room after cleaning off the gel and entered a few minutes later with the ultrasound pictures and a prescription for prenatal vitamins in hand. She passed them over to me and explained when to take the pills before taking a seat in front of me, a motherly look filling her features, her soothing voice matching it.

"Now I do have one concern, it's not uncommon for women too not be showing yet, but I would like to see a little meat on those bones at our appointment next month. Okay? I know you have a pretty grueling job, and I respect that, but you are also pregnant now. You should be able to work until somewhere during your second trimester. That's kind of a play it by ear decision, so we can discuss that more when it gets closer, but I do recommend you talking to your bosses to let them know so that they can look out for you. I would be taking a step back in some of the heavy lifting and high risk situations. I know it's hard to do such but…"

I quickly interrupted her. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my baby safe… It's not going to be easy taking a step back from my job, but it will be okay. You don't have to worry about that." I smiled, my hand instinctively coming to rest on my stomach.

"Well okay then." Dr. Jenson stood and shook my hand, a smile tugging at her lips. "I will see you in a month Gabby. Take care of yourself." She patted my hand and walked out the door and I smiled as I looked down at the black and white pictures in my hands.

All of this suddenly becoming so much more real. My fingers traced over the beautiful images of the life that Matt and I created.

Sitting in my car outside the clinic I still continued to stare at the pictures, feeling more alive than I had in a few months looking at the grainy photos.

A tear escaped my eye as I thought about the blonde haired man that helped create this little peanut growing inside of me.

How had we come so far? How did we let it get to this? How do we fix it?

Was there even anything left to fix?

When I walk into work after a quite 4 days off I'm dreading facing Matt today. I hadn't seen him since I left him standing in the driveway last shift. I knew I would have to tell him soon. I couldn't hide it forever, and Dr. Jenson had said it would be best to tell my superiors.

I'm terrified to tell Matt, and I'm terrified to tell Prigden, who was still filling in for Boden. If Boden had been here I would have no problems. I know he would be helpful, supportive. Prigden on the other hand I had no idea what to expect, but I figured expecting the worst was the best idea.

We'd had a few calls that morning, all minor. We were getting back from our latest run, all the rigs pulling back in at the same time when I noticed a brunette woman sitting at squads table.

Cruz is the first to speak up in curiosity. "Who is that?"

All the guy's attention is stolen by the brunette and I see Casey mutter a silent curse.

We all hop out of the rig and Casey and Severide share a look as they take their jackets off and hang them over the doors of the rigs. I watch Matt and can see an unreadable expression on his features.

Prigden walks out and I can see him approach the woman, and angry look in his eye.

"What are you doing here Beth?"

Oh God, this couldn't be…

She held an envelope up in her hands and I was too far away to hear her reply.

"What are you hear to see me or your new boyfriend Casey?" He sneers and I feel my blood run cold.

My eyes darting to Casey who is looking right back at me. The regret evident in his eyes. Most of the guys are either staring at Casey or me, or watching the scene unfold in front of them.

I look away. How could he. Why was she here? Were they really dating? How, how could he do this to me? Here. At the firehouse. Right in front of me.

Beth says something else to the Chief before handing him the envelope that was in her hand and walking out the door, and I'm left more confused than ever.

Chief turns and gives Casey a cold stare before making his way into the fire house and to his office.

Hermann pats my shoulder as he walks into the common room and sends me a gentle smile. I've always loved Hermann. He's been the 'Dad' of the group for as long as I could remember. He'd always been a great friend to me, someone I could count on.

I walk to the coffee pot and just as I'm about to pour myself a glass the smell of the black liquid hits my senses and I feel my stomach twist.

Please no, not here, not now.

I set the coffee pot down, along with my cup, and brace myself against the counter, taking a few deep breathes and clenching my eyes closed, willing the feeling of nauseous away.

Matt walks up beside me, no doubt going to try a conversation again, but once he picks up the coffee pot the smell hits me all over again and I can feel the bile rise in my throat as I run off towards the bathroom.

_**Hermann**_

Casey and I share a look and I can see him getting ready to go after her, so I'm quickly out of my seat, I pat Casey on the shoulder as I pass by, giving him a reassuring smile. "I got her Tenant."

I find Gabby's crumbled form on the bathroom floor heaving into the toilet, quickly moving forward and pulling her short hair from her face my hand rubs her back soothingly. "It's okay…" I whisper over and over.

It doesn't take much longer before she flushes the toilet and sinks down against one side of the stall, bringing her knees to her chest and running her hands through her hair, all of her energy obviously drained. I hand her some toilet paper to wipe her mouth before sinking down opposite of her.

She mumbles a thank you before tossing the paper away and leaning back into the wall her eyes closed, it what I assumed was an attempt to not toss her cookies again.

We're silent for a while before I finally broach the topic. "How long?" I ask silently.

Her eyes fly open and she's quick to defend herself. "Hermann… I… I'm not…"

I cut her off with a soft chuckle. "It's okay Dawson. You're secret is safe with me."

She gives me a confused look, obviously confused as to how I know, and clearly not having the energy to fight me on the topic. "Cindy's been through this five different times. I can spot a pregnant woman a mile away." I joke.

She laughs softly. "Maybe that should have been your side job all along." She quips and I fake offense pointing a warning finger at her.

"Hey now, play nice." Were silent for a while before I ask my original questions. "How long?"

"11 weeks." She says softly, a little smile tugging at her lips.

The next question I'm not really sure if I should even ask, but if this is going to be our little secret for a while longer than I need to know. "Is it Casey's?"

I see the hurt look and the fire in her eyes right away and know that that was a stupid question. "Of course it is…" She shakes her head angrily, "You contrary to how Casey apparently deals with break ups from a serious relationship, I don't sleep around." She says angrily.

"Woah, woah, hey. I'm sorry okay. I'm on your team here, I just, I just needed to be sure you know…" I defend quickly.

I watch her nod silently before she lets out a puff of air. "Does he know?" She shakes her head again. "Does anyone know?" She shakes her head again and brings her bottom lip between her teeth, a telltale sign of an upset Gabriella Dawson.

She looks down at her hands and my heartbreaks for this girl, -someone I consider to be a sister to me, someone I'd do anything for-, as a tear slips down her cheek.

"Everything is just _so_ screwed up right now Hermann… I don't really know what to do."

I've never seen Gabby like this. I've seen her sad. I've seen her mad. And I've seen her heartbroken, in the hospital after we lost Shay.

But I've never her seen her looking this lost before.

She had been through a lot lately, and I mentally kick myself for not checking in on her sooner. She'd been dealing with a lot. Too much. And she had been bottling it all up, dealing with it alone, that much was obvious by the anguish written all over her features.

I take her hand in mine, giving her a reassuring smile. "Hey, everything's gonna be okay. You gotta believe that kid."

She sniffles as she meets my eyes again, but there is a small smile tugging at her lips and a little more hope in her eyes than I had seen before and I took all that too be a small accomplishment.

"You're taking care of yourself? Got a doctor, prenatal pills? All that fun jazz."

Her next smile is full and genuine as she pulls grainy photos out of her pocket and passes them too me.

I look down at the little life in the pictures and can't help but give her a beaming smile. "You're gonna be a great mom Gabs."

The tears that she holds back this time I know are from my words and not sadness, and I assume that that was something she had needed to hear after keeping this to herself for so long.

I pull her into a hug from our place on the floor and her next words are full of gratitude. "Thanks Hermann."

"So what does all this mean for you and the job?"

"That's kind of the problem… I'm just, I'm not ready to tell Casey yet… I just. I can't right now, with everything with him and… I just can't."

I nod in understanding, I knew the minute Casey and the brunette left the bar that night that no good was going to come of it, my particular worry being for the brunette in front of me, clearly heartbroken by the fact.

"I'm ready to tell him, and I really don't want to tell Prigden, I just don't trust the guy you know? I'm only a Candidate, but I mean I have job security, they can't fire me for being pregnant, and I'm still able to work, I just need to be careful you know? Not too much heavy lifting, take care of myself, make sure the baby is safe. I can work till somewhere in the second trimester. So it isn't an issue now… but I need to tell my superiors so they can see to that I am safe is basically what the doctor said. I just…"

She trails off and I can see the inner battle she is having.

"Well you see I am a Lieutenant. Does that count as telling a superior?"

"Hermann." She laughs, brushing off my comment, but I quickly turn serious.

"No I'm serious. For right now you're secret is safe with me. You've got a lot on your plate right now and you deserve some time to deal with all that. I've got your back on calls Dawson, don't worry about that, and I've got your back in house, don't worry about that either. Just don't worry. You take care of that little peanut in there and you take your time. You just worry about that right now alright, about keeping yourself and that baby healthy, okay?"

She nods and tears are quickly escape her eyes and she's wrapping her arms around my neck before I have a moment to think, but I soon squeeze her tight. "Congratulations, by the way." I laugh.

She lets out a watery chuckle. "Thanks Chris… for everything…"

"You got it."

_It's not all gonna be sunshine and roses. But it's going to be one hell of a ride… _

**Alright everyone, you set the bar high with 38 reviews last chapter. Can you beat it? I triple dog dare you. **

**And GO! **


	3. Hope

**A/N: First off thank you once again for the unbelievable feedback! You all sure know how to make a girl feel special and set the bar high. You have no idea how much your words mean to me. All of you who take the time to write those long paragraphs big? I love you, you are awesome. They mean the world. THANK YOU!**

**Secondly, I am so mad about the lack of Dawsey scenes the past two episodes. Hopefully we start to at the very least see a friendship began to form again between the two. The lack of Dawsey makes inspiration hard to come by when I do follow most of the storylines of the show.**

**Thirdly, this chapter really goes into detail about Dawson and Casey's feelings about everything going on. I'm going to really be moving ahead with the pregnancy storyline soon and really wanted to make sure their feelings about the break up, and everything else were solid before doing so. **

**And lastly, I am not trying to favor Dawson or Casey in this story or place blame on either party for the break up or anything else. While at some points I do feel like one was more wrong then the other, I try to keep it as neutral as possible in my story and have the both of them taking blame for their actions. If that is not coming across to some of you, I am sorry, but if you could kindly not bite my head off for it, that'd be very lovely, please and thank you. I love constructive criticism, but don't be rude is all I ask. **

**For those of you who are actually enjoying that balance I am aiming for, I hope you continue too. **

**That all being said… here is chapter 3!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, unfortunately, I know. _

_**Dawson**_

Standing in Sylvie and I's bathroom a week later my vision slides to the mirror as I slid my jeans onto my hips and I freeze after catching sight of myself.

_Shit_.

I still had not told Casey, or anyone else for that matter about my pregnancy, other than Hermann. Things between Casey and I had been tense, to put it lightly.

I was ignoring him as much as I could, I knew it was wrong, but it was easier. I couldn't tell him about the baby yet. I had worked up the courage once, I was almost to his office when I heard him with his door wide open, talking into the phone with a big smile on his face. That wouldn't have been a problem if his next words wouldn't have stung me so much.

"_Yeah I'll see you tonight… Of course, it will be fun… Well then it's a date. Yeah, you too. Bye."_

The smile didn't leave his face the whole time and I had rushed off back to the common room before he could see me. So… Matt had a date. We were broken up. He was moving on, -I had already known that though. But the sad looks he had sent me over the past few days, when I was trying my hardest to dodge him, had led me to believe that he had ended things with the Chief's ex. Well his sad glances, and more importantly a verbal confirmation from Hermann had also lead me to believe it, but I guess just because he ended things with what's her name, doesn't mean that he couldn't move on, _again_, to another new girl. I tried my best not to be bitter about that thought.

I couldn't expect Casey to wait around for me forever, in fact, I should have never expected him to wait for me at all when we put us 'on hold'.

I shouldn't expect it… but I did.

It was hard not to expect it. We had been engaged. We had dated for over a year. Lived together. Moved into our own place together. _Loved each other unconditionally._

We'd fought tooth and nail to be together in the beginning and a couple wrong turns and we gave it all up. It was still hard to look back on. To look back and think about the good times; our engagement, our first night together, our first real date, moving into our new apartment, nights at Molly's, weekends away together. We had so many good times together… we were great together.

We had been great friends, best friends even. Matt and I had had a special bond long before the feelings of love were expressed, and I think that probably hurt the most. To know that not only had I lost the love of my life, the guy I knew was the one for me, I had also lost my best friend.

In such a short amount of time I lost Shay, and Matt both. Two people who mean the world to me. Shay was the heart of 51 and I don't think any of us truly realized that until she was gone. The house was different. Boden was different, the guys were different, Kelly was different, _I was different._

Sometimes I wonder if maybe that was Matt and I's problem all along. That we weren't ready for the engagement. Too much had happened since his first proposal too his second. We had lost our sunshine, we had lost Shay. I knew from the moment the doctors confirmed what I had already known, that nothing would ever be the same again.

I knew I had changed. Too consumed in my grief and guilt to let anyone completely in. Shay took a piece of me with her that I would never get back, and every day I was left to wonder if Matt could ever love me as this person if I had changed to much from the girl he fell in love with.

The truth was I knew in my heart I could never be that girl again, the girl I was before losing Shay. I would forever grieve the loss of Shay. I would forever hold that guilt of switching places, I would forever have the thought of '_it should have been me'_ lingering just below the surface. It would never go away, I had to learn to live with it.

But I still could not blame Matt for any of that because none of it was his fault. He'd told me once, only a few weeks after the loss, that he blamed himself for calling us into that building that day. We had cried together and held each other and I had promised him that it was not his fault. When we had calmed a little he had muttered something about being grateful that he had not lost me too, and I couldn't stop the deep guilt that settled. It wasn't Matt's fault Shay was gone. Not at all… but I still couldn't tell him what had happened in that building. That losing Shay wasn't his fault at all and was mine completely.

The day that building exploded it took something from all of us. It took Shay and took a piece of this house, and it took a little piece of all of us too.

Some days I wonder if that was the real day that I started to lose Matt. I lost myself that day. And the weeks before Matt and I broke up, and most importantly the day I walked out of our apartment solidifying our fate, I lost myself all over again.

Shay and Matt, they were both a part of me. A big part of me. They both held such a big piece of my heart, and Shay took her piece of it with her to the grave and I knew I would never be the same again. Matt still held his piece, he always would, and I was terrified that he would crush it, more than it already was, but I was most terrified of the person I would be afterward. I'd already lost sight of the person I use to be, I was trying to find that girl again. Not for Matt or for myself, but for the life we had created together. For the little life that had yet to experience the cruel reality of the world. The life that deserved the best version possible of me.

… The little life that was now starting to make its presence known…

I'm taken out of my thoughts of Matt and Shay as I stare in the mirror at my bra clothed torso. My stomach that just last week had seemed flat, untouched, now housing a noticeable little bump. I couldn't help but smile at the little swell to my stomach, but also felt a fear rip through me. Hermann was still the only one who knew.

I let my hand rest on my stomach taking in the moment as I stared down at the little bump that housed a life that would soon enter the world. "Hey little peanut…"

I wiped the tear from my eye quickly when I heard a knock at the bathroom door, I was still surprised some days by the emotions that would flow through me at the thought of this baby. "Almost ready Dawson? We're gonna be late."

"Be out in a minute!" I hollered back, quickly pulling my top over my head and cursing myself for not picking out a lighter fitting one. I rushed out the bathroom and into my room, grabbing my jacket and pulling it over my shoulders, zipping it up and checking myself out in the mirror. Satisfied that the sweater hid my stomach I grabbed the rest of my belonging and Sylvie and I rushed to my car and headed to work.

"You feeling okay?" She asked after a few minutes of silence in the car, giving me a questioning look.

"Yeah, I'm good." I answer hesitantly.

"Dawson you've been getting sick almost every morning for the past week and you, you've been really distant lately. I know you've got a lot going on, but I am here, ya know? If you need anything or want to talk." She says sweetly, concern etched into every word.

I give her a reassuring smile as we pull up to fifty-one. "Thank you, Sylvie, but I'm okay, really. Come on, we're gonna be late." I laugh jumping out of the car.

I'm the last one to enter the locker room to change and I have just finished pulling my shirt over my head when Hermann walks in, stopping by his locker and staring me down as I stand in my work pants and shirt.

"What?" I ask with a laugh.

He points at my stomach. "When did that happen?"

I look down and sigh, you could see the swell of my stomach through the tight work shirt. I raise a brow at him, "Apparently overnight. I just noticed it this morning." I laugh softly.

"Don't take this the wrong way Dawson, but if I can notice that, Casey is gonna notice it. The guy doesn't take his eyes off you."

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Don't start this again Hermann." I warn, he has been trying to gently nudge me to talk to Matt for a week now.

He holds his hands up in defense, taking a few steps forward to lean against the locker beside mine with his arms crossed. "I'm just saying. Would it be the worst thing in the world to talk to the guy? You've both been looking a little extra miserable this week."

I send him a glare. "It's just, easier this way for now Hermann…" I tell him in a quiet voice though I know he won't buy it, I don't buy it.

"How is any of this easier for either of you?" He asks me incredulously.

_That's a good question Hermann, I wish I had a real answer_… Instead, I opt for what I knew to be true. "Matt went on a date the other night Hermann… He's moving on, he did move on." I shake my head, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe I need to too."

Before Herman can reply the bells are going off calling us to a fire and I quickly pull my jacket on before following him to the truck.

_**Casey**_

This has been a trying week for all of us. Prigden has been… challenging, to put it as nicely as I possibly can.

He found out about Beth and me over a week ago and despite my protests that I had ended it with her, he used every opportunity to throw it in my face and to put me, and my guys down.

To say that I wanted him gone was an understatement.

We show up to the fire and Truck 81 is about to enter the building when Prigden hollers out for us to head down the road on another case, once again finding something else to do to spite me. But now is not the time for personal vendettas to get in the way, we have a kid missing and a fire burning.

When I argue it only angers him more and soon we are all on our way down the road while Squad 3 is on its own, waiting for the next Truck Company to arrive.

As we are racing back to the building I see Severide and his guys walking away from the building and Ambulance 61 taking off. Apparently they had found the child. Thank God, I couldn't imagine losing my child, I never wanted to imagine that.

After asking the Chief where he needed us he tells me to take my men back to the house, but before we can pack up Dawson's words ring in my head.

"Oh my God."

I follow her line of sight just in time to see a man jumping from the third story window as fire blows out the windows. Dawson is on him in a minute reacting before any of us can even comprehend what has happened, and calling for a second ambulance.

I'm next to her in an instant. Helping her steady the man.

This is bad.

This is real bad.

My eyes meet Prigden and I can see the fear in his eyes… This was his call.

The man is whisked away by Chout and his partner and we are all heading back to the Firehouse silently, still shocked by everything that happened.

Once I'm back in the safety of my office I let my mind wander to Gabby. Not surprisingly, she was really all that was on my mind anymore. I had screwed us up and I knew it. I had pushed her away and I had made her feel like I wasn't a person she could come too, that she could talk too. We were engaged and she didn't feel like she could talk to me. I had made her feel that way, and I kicked myself for that every day since she had uttered the words before leaving. The click of the lock in the door echoing and making it all seem so final.

Before I had known it my fist was through the wall and I was crumbled into the chair nursing a scotch neat, trying to forget about that conversation, trying to forget that any of that had happened, trying to forget her walking out, trying to forget how her words had sounded so hurt, so heartbroken, the sadness in her eyes, and the lost look that had taken over her features, trying to forget how true her words had been… just trying to forget her.

We had been on a downhill spiral for a little while, but I had refused to give it much thought. Not realizing how bad it actual was until my hurtful words had her asking to leave shift and later on seeing her packed bags by our couch.

I could've handled the situation better. I know that now. In fact, I've known it for a little while now, but at the time I had been hurt, the venomous words tumbling out of my mouth like daggers… Clearly Gabby had taken every one of them to heart.

What she had done on shift, disobeying orders, it was wrong. I knew that, and I knew that Gabby knew that now. It was one of her first times getting in trouble, and while it was still inexcusable, I shouldn't have brought it home with us. She had tried communicating with me and I shouldn't have blown her off, I was wrong there.

But I still couldn't get over her words to Mills, I mean I was over them now, but then, they hurt. I know now that she had never said that 'she didn't want to be with me', but it still hurt to see her with him. Whether it was friendly or not. I figured that was just something that was going to hurt no matter what, and I assumed if Hallie was still alive and Gabby saw me with her, that it would hurt her all the same. It was hard to see the person you love with someone they use to love. That feeling was universal.

But none of that was important anymore. None of the previous arguments between us mattered because we had moved past them, well we had kind of moved past them. I was positive that if we got back together a bigger conversation would need to be had about all the issues, but for now they were resolved.

What wasn't resolved was the Beth issue. It had been two weeks since I slept with Beth. A week and a half since Gabby had found out. And a week since Gabby had uttered any words to me that didn't have to do with work. I was losing my mind.

Between Gabby's freeze out and Prigden's hell he was putting me through for my lapse in judgment I was so over the situation and just wanted to move on from it.

I wanted to talk to Gabby, to tell her what really happened, though I wasn't really sure what all she knew about the situation in the first place, and I wanted to apologize for the way she found out.

We weren't together, and I knew I had no real reason to apologize for moving on, but I still felt the need too. Because I knew if Gabby had moved on I would be less than impressed, and I knew if Welch's sorry self-was the one letting me know she'd moved on I would probably be acting the same as Gabby was.

The one thing I appreciated from her was even though I hated the freeze out I was getting on a personal level, she was being nothing but professional at work. She avoided me, but she still took orders on calls and even in house with her head held high. I had to respect her for that, and I'd like to think if the roles were reversed I would act the same professionally.

But that didn't stop me missing her. We both had faults over the past few months. We had both screwed up things. Both in the wrong. I just wanted to talk to her. To at the very least get our friendship back. A friendship that had meant the world to me in my darkest hours. Gabby had always been my rock, even as friends, and that was the hardest thing to not have right now.

A quick rap at my office door brought me out of my usual thoughts about Gabby, as Severide steps in and closes the door behind him.

"We've got a problem."

"Okay?" I question him confused.

"Prigden…"

"When isn't he a problem?" I mutter.

"The higher-ups are looking into that fire. I guess the free faller's sister is a lawyer, they're suing us for negligence, Case. Prigden is trying to throw you under the bus for leaving the scene, trying to claim the broken ankle was a suspected heart attack."

"You're kidding me?" I grumble.

Severide tells me that he and Welch were the only two that heard what the young girl told Prigden. Knowing that the possible fate of my career rests in the hands of Prigden and Welch is not a good feeling.

We are called off to a car accident before either of us can discuss anymore and I'm left with a bad feeling in my stomach about all of this.

_**Dawson**_

The news of Chief Prigden spread around the firehouse like a wildfire on the next shit a few days later, and I was shocked to hear that the Chief was blaming everything on Casey and trying to strip him of his rank, or worst, lose his job completely.

Despite anything that is going on between Matt and I, he doesn't deserve this. Not at all.

I'm lost in my thoughts as I walk into the locker room, but I stop in my tracks at the next words I hear. "You know if all this works out I'm gonna need a new Truck Lieutenant to take over for Casey, you help me out and that spot is yours."

"I don't know Chief…"

"Listen Welch, I brought you into this firehouse, vouched for you. You don't help me out I can see to it that Squad finds a new replacement and that you don't work for another firehouse in this city again. I'm getting Casey out of this house with or without you. So what's it gonna be?"

I step into the locker room before Welch has a chance to answer and send an icy glare to the both of them. They both look at me with a little fear, not sure at what all I had heard, and I offer up no information as I grab something from my locker and leave the room, not looking back to either of them.

This was crazy. Could Prigden really make Casey loose his rank and was Welch really heartless enough to help him do it? Okay, I knew he was, Welch was relentless but would he really follow through with it.

I bump into a hard chest as I round the corner into the bunkroom, too consumed in my thoughts of Prigden and Welch to focus on anything in front of me.

The only thing stopping me from falling flat on my bottom are two strong arms that wrap around my waist. "Whoa, you alright Dawson?"

The voice I recognized so clearly has my eyes snapping up to meet his blue ones and me needing to step back and clear my throat before answering. "Uh, yeah, yeah I'm good. You?"

Casey only shrugs his shoulders and offers me a small smile that I notice right away does not reach his eyes. And that's when I notice it. The empty bag in his hand.

"Casey…"

He shakes his head at me, stopping my words, and I see the upset all over his face, before he's squeezing my shoulder and walking to his office. Leaving me standing in the hallway.

I'm knocking on Severide's door a moment later and walking in without an invite. "What the hell's going on?" I hiss quietly.

He stares at me in shock for a moment before shaking his head. "Dawson…"

"No Kel, why is Casey packing his stuff?"

He lets out a heavy sigh before turning in his chair to face me. "The higher ups are asking questions after Prigden placed blame on Casey. They are putting him on leave until the mess is all sorted out, it's not looking good."

"What about Prigden? Why aren't they kicking him out, his judgment is in question too with your statement right?"

"Yeah, but he's a Chief. Even though I spoke up against him there is a level of more respect for him because of his rank. Plus he's got a hook in the system somewhere, some good friend higher up is what I'm hearing… There isn't anything we can do right now Dawson other than wait it out."

I huff, leaning back into the door. This wasn't fair to Casey. He did nothing wrong. He didn't deserve this. No matter how much hurt we caused each other, he still meant the world too me, and he was still a good guy, he didn't deserve any of this. Severide's words ring in my head. _'There isn't anything we can do…'_

But maybe there was. I'm out Severide's door and rushing back towards Casey's office in an instant. Popping my head in the door quickly. "Lieutenant, I need to duck out for an hour…"

He looks up at me confused and I'm not sure if it has more to do with the fact that I'm actually voluntarily talking to him or that I'm asking to leave shift. I briefly think of the last time I had requested to leave shift 3 months ago, but I quickly shake it off. "Everything alright?"

I nod quickly. "Yup, I'll leave my radio on?"

He nods, "Uh, yeah okay sure. Don't be gone long." There is confusion evident in his voice but I'm out the door and making my way to my car quickly.

Rubbing my hand over the little swell of my stomach, one thought raced through my mind as I rush away from the firehouse.

_We're gonna save Daddy, baby. _

Casey didn't deserve to lose his job.

I wouldn't let him. No matter where we stood.

_**Casey**_

I throw a t-shirt into my bag and look around the small room, wondering if this really could be my last time in this office. My last shift as a Lieutenant, my last shift at this house.

All because of one mistake of sleeping with a woman that meant nothing to me. One mistake could cost me everything. My job. My rank… The love of my life.

It was Prigden's word against Severide's, and Welch had yet to make a statement to either side, though he had also heard what was said.

I've known since the shift before that this was not going to turn out well for me, but I had never expected all of this; that Prigden would take it all this far.

"Lieutenant, you gotta see this…" Cruz rasps as he stops in my doorway before taking back off down the hall, I quickly follow behind him to the common room where what seemed to be all of the firehouse standing.

I see Chief Tiberg and many other Deputy Chiefs walking down the hall towards us, Chief Prigden and a box of things in his hands. "What's going on?" I ask quietly.

No one says anything and I watch as Prigden passes, sending me a glare. A few more Chiefs pass by, exiting out onto the apparatus floor, but Chief Tiberg stops and I step forward right away, still confused as to what is going on.

"Chief?"

"Looks like it's your lucky day Lieutenant Casey. All charges against you have been dropped."

"What? How?"

Tiberg smirks at me before lifting his hand and pointing behind me. "Your Candidate went to bat for you. Seems she caught the Chief and Welch in a compromising situation this morning."

I turn quickly catching Gabby's gaze, and she sends me a soft smile. I look back to Tiberg as he continues on. "After your Candidate came forward Welch told us what he heard, his story matched up with Lt. Severide's… House 51 is free of charges. Looks like Boden will be back next shift."

I shake Tibergs hand before he leaves and I can't wipe the huge grin off my face at his news. I'm surrounded by the guys as they pat my back and bring me in for manly hugs, but the one person I'm really looking for is gone.

I don't find her again until I walk into the locker room after shift where she is just pulling her coat on ready to leave. She catches my gaze right away and I can't help but smile at her.

"Hey." Her voice is quite, and I can tell she is nervous, but there is still a small smile tugging at her lips that is making her more approachable.

"Hey. So I hear I owe you a pretty big thank you."

She laughs and shrugs me off, "It was nothing, just good timing on my part."

I take a step forward and lean up against the lockers a few feet away from her. "It's not nothing Gabby… You saved my ass." I tell her sincerely.

She shrugs once again and coyly tugs some hair behind her ear. "Yeah well you've done that for me like a million times…"

Her words immediately bring me back to a day in my office over a year ago, when we daringly pushed the boundaries from friendship to something more. The day that I saved her in that van, when the flames shot out and we both could have lost our lives. The day that later led to the night we started this whole thing. The night that would forever be vividly burned into my memory.

_I've been thinking a lot lately… And the truth is, I don't know where I'd be without you…_

God how those words were still so true.

Her words must have struck up some of the same memories because I see a blush rise to her cheeks as she looks away from me.

"Thank you, Gabby, really…"

She nods at me this time, finally excepting my gratitude. We're silent for a few moments. Standing in the middle of the locker room alone, both knowing 2nd watch could be rolling in any minute now, but neither wanting to leave, this moment seeming so significant after a week of silence, and months of awkward forced conversations.

"Do you want to get some coffee or something?" I question timidly. Both of us knowing there was a silent question of a peace offering there.

She looks at me shocked and I can see the question swirling in her eyes, not sure on what to say yet. She shocks me when she doesn't say anything at all, but swings her bag over her shoulder and walks toward me silently. Her hand comes to rest on my cheek and her smooth lips hit my opposite cheek and even though I'm frozen in shock my eyes close, relishing the moment and letting my head lull into her warm hand, wanting to forever commit this to memory.

She pulls back and her eyes meet mine. "Not yet… But soon, I promise…"

Her hand leaves my cheek and she is out the door before I can fully comprehend what has all happened. But once it all sinks in a smile fills my features.

We'd talk soon. We'd get coffee soon, or something.

Maybe we'd get back together soon too.

A few hours ago I'd thought I lost my job, and the love of my life.

I had my job, and maybe I would have the love of my life back as well. Only time would tell, but I left the firehouse that day filled with more hope than I had felt in the past few months.

**Review, Review, Review. **

**Next chapter expect a little skip a head, a Dawson and Casey moment, and someone else finds out about baby too be. Stay tuned. **

**You set the bar high once again with reviews last chapter, can you do it again?**

**Triple-dog-daring you! GO!**


	4. I Forgive You

**A/N: Two weeks, and no real Dawsey scene. Well I must say the writers are letting me down with them right now. BUT we all must keep the hope though. They are too perfect together to be apart forever. But thankfully, you won't have to wait for that Dawsey scene in here. This one has a big talk I am sure you are all wishing these two goofballs would have on the show, I know I am. **

**THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN FOR YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS. YOU WONDERFUL SOULS MAKE MY HEART SMILE AND MY MUSE SWOON. KEEP IT UP, YOU'RE THE REAL MVP.**

_Disclaimer: Still here owning nothing but the cute little peanut in Mama Dawson's tummy that is now 13 weeks and growing like a weed. 27 more weeks to go. _

_**Dawson**_

Finding clothes in my closet that were big enough to not draw any attention to my stomach was much more difficult than I had originally thought it would be. It wasn't that I wore very reveling clothes, but I had always been a small girl and while I had my curves, I could really wear whatever I wanted. I worked hard to keep in shape, and rewarded myself with clothes that I liked, clothes I was comfortable and felt good in.

What I never anticipated in all the years of building up my wardrobe was that a time would come when I would be secretly pregnant and have to hide my slowly expanding stomach from basically everyone in my life. There was no breaks. Work, out with friends, working at Molly's, at home with Brett; I had to hide it, and it was becoming exhausting. It had only been a little over a week since Casey was cleared and Boden was welcomed back into the house, but even in that short time I could see the slight differences in my body.

I was 13 weeks pregnant, and I was feeling every pregnancy symptom with full force the past week. My moods were everywhere. My feet felt like they were double their normal size. I was not only having morning sickness almost every day, but occasionally it would oh so kindly turn into _all-damn-day-sickness._ And to top it all off my boobs hurt, a lot, and I wasn't so keen on the feeling.

I felt miserable, and Hermann was the only one who knew. Comments about my shirts not fitting, and my boobs hurting were not comments he loved hearing about I learned very early this week. So I suffered alone on those two fronts, but that's not to say that Hermann has not been helpful. He has. So much.

With some great convincing he talked me into letting him tell Cindy, and she very quickly took me under her wing. While she disapproved even more so than her husband about me not telling Matt yet, she still promised to keep it to herself. She hooked me up with 'what to expect when you are expecting' books and a lot of motherly advice, not only about the pregnancy, but also about my non-existent relationship with Casey. I had never felt more thankful for the Hermann's in my entire life. They had quickly became my saving grace the past 2 weeks and I loved them even more so for it.

I shuffled through my closet some more finally finding a comfy sweater that flowed nicely and pulling it on, pleased with the article I moved to close my closet door only to catch sight of a little black dress that held one of the most significant moments in my life to date. It drew a close fourth place behind both of Casey's proposals and the day I found out I was pregnant.

But still, very significant. I pulled it from the closet and held the dress in my hands smiling at the black fabric as that night came back to me. Vivid memories of our first kiss, and our first time together filling my mind and bringing a blush to my cheeks. God, how I wanted those days back. Those days when it was _our time now_ and we were happy and so in love.

I shake the sad thoughts off as Brett calls out to me from the kitchen asking me if I am ready to go. I don't answer as I walk into the dining room, the dress still clutched in my hands.

"Whatcha got there?"

I lift the dress to show it off to her. "This is my favorite little black dress."

She whistles and raises a brow. "Sexy." I laugh as she walks over.

"I haven't worn this thing in over a year." I say softly and she looks at my confused.

"Why not?"

I can only shrug before answering her softly. "You know this was the dress I was wearing the night Casey and I finally came to our senses and got together. He showed up at my door just as I was about to walk out wearing this dress, ready to go out on the town in this little thing and show him what he was missing, and he just kissed me, right in my doorway… After 7 years of buildup… It was perfect…"

Brett listens intently, a small smile on her face as she watches me recall a part of Casey and I's history that she had never been told before.

My smile slips from my face as I look down at the black material, remembering the happiness I had felt over a year ago, and thinking of how far we had come in that year.

Brett notices my change in demeanor and is quick to try making me feel better. "Hey, let's give that dress the night on the town it never got then. You're due for a night out Dawson. Come on, tomorrow night!"

I shake my head, "I don't know Sylvie…"

"Come on it will be fun. You've been a little down lately, it'll be good. Dance a bit, meet a few people, have a few drinks."

Drinks. There was no way I could have a few drinks and with the swell of my newly formed little baby bump I was having a hard time believing I was even going to fit into the dress in my hands. Both were excuses I knew I couldn't tell Sylvie. "I don't know… We could just have a quiet girl's night in…" I try suggesting, but she is quickly cutting me off.

"Nu uh, when is the last time you really got out Gabby?" I look away, not even really sure when that was. "Exactly." She grabs her bag and heads towards the door. "We are going, it's final. And you, my dear, are wearing that sexy little number. I will not take no for an answer!"

_**Hermann**_

Lying to Casey was becoming a tiring job. On calls I was interjecting in his orders anytime a dangerous situation would arise and making sure Gabby was under my wing. He'd given me confused looks, and sometimes even glares at my interruptions, but had yet to ask questions. Which I was grateful for. Not even really sure what I would say if he would question me about it.

I stride into the bathrooms and stop in my tracks when I see Dawson. She's leaning up against the sink, her knuckles white from what I assume is holding herself up with all the strength she could muster, and her face pale.

I rush towards her, fear taking over instantly, "Dawson, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

She shakes her head slowly and a tear falls down her cheek. "What's going on?" I ask her hurriedly, but before she can answer a groan escapes her lips and she is turning and rushing into one of the stalls, dry heaves wracking through her. I follow her and rest my hand on her back trying to sooth her as tears fall down her cheeks.

She goes to get up once the urge has left her and I place my hand on her shoulder. "Just sit a minute, you don't looks so good."

She grumbles. "Thanks Hermann, you're looking beautiful as ever this morning as well."

I can't help but smirk. Gabriella Dawson is one tough cookie, and she has a fire in her that I've admired since our first meeting.

"Good to know pregnancy hasn't made you lose your wit." I crack and she only scowls in response.

Groaning again she finally speaks. "Why do they call it morning sickness? They should really call it- puke all day, feel miserable all the time, absolutely horrible sickness."

"I'm thinking they just decided morning sickness was a much shorter term and decided to go with it…"

She slaps my leg as I stand above her, but a she cracks a smile and that's really all I was after in the first place. "Shush it Christopher."

"Okay, okay. In all seriousness. You do look like crap." She glares at me and I can't help but laugh as I lean down to kneel in front of her. "Okay, that's not exactly what I was meaning. I just mean maybe you should go home. You look miserable, and I'm sure you feel it. Go get some rest."

She shakes her head. "Hermann I can't…"

"Why not? It's not like Casey or Boden is going to suspect anything if you tell them you've caught a bug."

She shakes her head again and pushes herself up from the floor, and has to steady herself against the wall. "I'm just gonna try and get some rest in the bunk room."

"Dawson…"

"Really Hermann, thank you, but I will be fine, I promise. Come holler at me before I need to make supper alright?" I can only nod as she leaves the room, not looking much better then when I had first found her.

I can feel my worry for her growing. She needed to tell someone else about this, -Casey preferably.

Cindy had morning sickness with three of our five kids, but never this bad. Dawson had been in and out of the bathroom all afternoon, and I was sure someone else was bound to notice soon. I knew Dawson wouldn't be able to hide this all much longer and I was beginning to worry more and more about the turmoil that would ensue after it was out. But most worried about how Dawson would handle it all. She was stressed already, I knew once she told everyone it would probably be a rocky few weeks for her once people knew she had kept it from them, Casey especially. And I was worried of how Dawson would handle all that stress once it happened.

_**Dawson**_

This wasn't a good idea. Going out with Brett was possibly the worst idea ever. I couldn't drink, Brett was bound to realize that.

She was insisting I wear my little black dress that I was positive would no longer fit, and if it did would definitely show off my stomach.

And she wanted to go to clubs. Not just a simple little bar. Clubs. Loud, stuffy, packed clubs.

Everything about the night sounded like a train wreck to me. But she was Brett. She had become my best friend, my mermaid, and she was really excited about this. So I would go. I would pretend to drink a few beers, and most likely pass them off to someone else, and I would try and have a good time for her.

I can't help but worry about what all can go wrong tonight as I walk down the driveway of 51 to get to my car, hoping on going home and getting some much needed sleep, happy that I hadn't had any spouts of 'morning' (all day) sickness sense my talk with Hermann the day before.

I silently prayed that the sickness would hold off today for me to get some solid hours of sleep before what I assumed would be a long night out with Brett.

"Dawson!"

I look up from the backseat of my car, throwing my bag inside, where I see Casey jogging down the drive to catch up to me.

I shut my back door and nervously tuck a piece of hair behind my ear as he approaches me, an easy smile playing on his lips, making him look more at ease than what I could tell he felt.

"Hey Matt."

"How are you?"

I nod, smiling softly at him. "I'm good."

He nods again, his head bobbing somewhat awkwardly. I could tell there was something he was trying to say, but didn't know how to say it, so I stayed silent letting him get the words out on his own time.

But when we had stood in silence for a solid 2 minutes I decided to butt in.

"So listen..."

"Matt…"

We say at the same time and both laugh, but I give him a look, urging him to continue, his next words surprising me a bit.

"Can we talk?" The shocked look on my face and my silence causes his nerves to set back in and he begins to ramble. "I mean I know last week you said not yet. But you did say soon. And I don't know. I was just thinking. Hoping really. That soon could be soon. Like tomorrow morning breakfast soon?"

I can't help but smile at his little smirk and nervous ramble. I wasn't really sure if I felt really ready for this or not, but the hopefully look in his eyes was wounding my defenses.

I bite my lips nervously, but come to one easy conclusion. I missed him, and he was just too damn cute to turn down.

"Yeah, I'd like that…" I tell him softly.

It's his turn to be shocked. "Yeah. Yeah?"

I nod a smile filling my features again.

"Yeah. Uh. Okay. I'll uh, see you tomorrow afternoon, our usual place okay?"

I nod, not able to find words and he sends me a quick smile over his shoulder before taking off too his truck. It's not until he has pulled away from the curb that I let out the breath I was holding and felt my heart rate start to steady once again.

Breakfast tomorrow with Casey.

It was just breakfast. I could do this. Just breakfast.

Brett was hitting the drinks hard. Harder than I had ever seen her before, and I had to wonder if it was about the lack of girls nights we had had, or her frustration with Cruz not wanting to go out. Either way, the girl was blowing off some steam.

The tipsier she got, the easier it was to pass the drinks she ordered for me off to some random stranger, or just leave them sitting on the bar all together.

I wore a top that flowed away from my body, and tucked into a tight skirt that hugged my hips. Pleased that my stomach was not at all visibly through the flowing material of the top. I hadn't even tried my little black dress on. It held too many memories that I would think of all night even if it had fit. Brett questioned it and I told her I just wanted to have fun tonight, and have Casey off my mind, that the dress would only prove to make me think about him, she understood and asked no further questions.

What she didn't know was Casey was all I thought about all night. Thinking about our breakfast the next morning and a conversation that we were sure to have. I wasn't sure if I would tell him about the baby tomorrow or not. I wanted too. I wanted it all too be out there, but I figured I would just play it by ear. See how things went before saying anything. At least if we could get on some solid ground it would make it easier to tell him.

Brett bound up too me sloppily and threw her arms around my shoulder.

"Hi friend!"

"Hey…" I drawled out laughing, holding her up.

"I'm drunk." She giggled.

"You are." I confirmed.

"We should go." She pleads drunkenly.

I nod and lead us out of the club after grabbing our coats, not needing to be told twice. My feet were killing me in these heels and my skirt was rubbing me the wrong way. Plus, watching everyone around you drink was not fun.

I lead her into our apartment and she plops down on the coach sloppily. "You know Dawson, you should talk to Casey." She drawls out.

I raise my brow at her as I get her a glass of water and some ibuprofen. "I should?" I ask. I hadn't told her about my breakfast with Casey tomorrow morning. Not wanting it to be made into a big deal.

She nods sharply. "Uh hu. You haven't been the same since you two broke up you know, and he makes you happy. You two are kinda perfect." She slurs.

I shake my head, wondering if she would even remember any of this conversation. "It's not always that easy Sylvie." I whisper passing over the pills and the glass of water that she chugs down before looking up at me with tired eyes.

"It should be though. You two love each other." She lays down on the couch and I say no more as I walk to the hall to get her a blanket. When I walk back in the living room she is fast asleep and I cover her up before locking the place up and heading to bed.

Brett's words ringing in my head as I wonder what tomorrow morning will bring.

_**Casey**_

To say I was nervous would be an understatement.

I sat at a little table in what had become Gabby and I's favorite little coffee shop almost 6 years ago. We'd been coming here ever since for breakfast. It started out as friends, usually grabbing breakfast a few times every couple months, then turned into a monthly (at least) ritual. Sometimes happening every other week. We'd meet here when both of us were having a tough time, or were just in need of a little get away, a little time together in this cozy coffee spot away from the real world. Once we started dating we would come here almost once a week, if not to get breakfast at least to grab a quick coffee.

It held many memories for us, and I knew the fact that this is where we were meeting to talk, to possibly reconcile was a pretty significant thing.

I missed Gabby. I wanted her back, but I knew she was still hesitant. I could see it in her eyes every time we talked lately. She wasn't sure how to act around me, and I wanted that to end today. Even if all we did was take a step in the direction of friendship today that would be enough for me. I just wanted to talk to her, to tell her the truth, to tell her what was on my mind.

I hear the doors chime for what seemed to be the twentieth time since I had showed up almost fifteen minutes ago and look up to find Gabby entering. I smile quickly filling my features. She was in tight jeans tucked into tall boots and a light sweater that was covered by her favorite leather jacket. Her makeup very minimal and her hair in soft curls around her face.

Beautiful.

We exchange soft greeting and it's not until a decaf coffee is placed in front of her that she looks at me after taking a quick sip. I raise my brow at her. Coffee was the only thing that made Gabby approachable in the mornings. Decaf was not her choice of coffee.

She tenses for a moment before laughing it off. "I've been up for a while, already had half a pot, that last thing I need is more caffeine."

I laugh and we both settle in to a comfortable silence. It was weird. All the time that had passed. All the harsh words we'd said and actions we'd taken that had hurt each other. All the weeks of longing looks and silence. Yet we could still sit in such a comfortable silence as if no time had passed at all.

I'm the first to speak, not that I am surprised, I called this meeting after all.

"I'm sorry…" I tell her softly, bringing her out of her study of the dark liquid before her. She meets my eyes questioningly. "For Beth…"

She tenses immediately and hurt flashes across her features. "Matt, please…"

"I'm sorry I slept with her and I'm sorry for how you found out. I…"

Her eyes meet mine sharply and there is a fire there that I hadn't seen in a while. "You slept with her?"

I'm kicking myself immediately. She didn't know. Of course she didn't know. Way to just spring it on her Casey. "Gabby…"

She looks away from me and I can see her deflate, any and all courage she had worked up for this conversation quickly leaving her. Her face contorting in confusion and hurt and her eyes holding heartbreak that I wished to never see. "I thought you just kissed her… that you dated her maybe… I didn't realize…"

I shake my head, closing my eyes. This conversation was going to be much tougher than I originally thought. It definitely wasn't starting out well.

"Gabby I'm sorry… It was a mistake. She was a mistake."

"How many _mistakes_ has there been since we broke up Matt?" She whispers harshly.

I shake my head. Defensive. When Gabby gets defensive it's nearly impossible to get through to her. But I wasn't going to let her shut me out again. I wasn't going down without a fight.

"Just her… Gabby we aren't together… It's not like I cheated." I tell her gently.

Her hurt eyes bore into mine and I know that was definitely not what she needed to her. She shakes her head at me, shocked at what I have said, and honestly I am a little surprised at my boldness too.

"You're right Casey…" She tells me softly. Her voice low. I take quick note that we are back to using last names. An easy indicator of how far we have come in our relationship and how well this conversation was not going. "We weren't together then, and we aren't together now. But where my head and my heart was, where it is, I can't even imagine going out and sleeping with someone else…"

Her words shock me. _Where my heart is._ Her confession spurring me on. Maybe this conversation isn't going to be that bad after all. "Gabby…"

"I just… In all the years of knowing you… I just never imagined you'd be that guy, the guy that goes off with some stranger for a one night stand after a break up." She whispers, looking anywhere but at me.

Her words anger me for some reason and the next words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. "Well I never took you for the girl who would go to find comfort in her ex-boyfriend when things got tough with her current one, but that happened too didn't it?"

I'm instantly regretting my words when I see the hurt look that crosses her features. She shakes her head and grabs her purse, ready to leave.

"God, you're right, okay? I might have found comfort in Peter that night, but it was as a _friend_ Casey. A friend and only a friend. And that was all I ever intended, or would have let it be. Because _not_ my current boyfriend, but my current _fiancé_ wouldn't talk to me. Wouldn't let me in. You have this notion in your head that I told him I didn't want to be with you and I never once said that." She spits out, her words low and angry, and I was sure if we were anywhere else but a public coffee shop that we both often frequented her voice would be at a full scream. "I told him it was hard, that the home part was hard, and that was because we couldn't separate it, because all of it was hard. And I told him I didn't know what to do. I told him the exact same thing I would've told Shay, or anyone else in that moment if they would've been the one comforting me. I never said I didn't want to be with you. You twisted my words up from that moment on and never let it go. That's on you. Not me." She says sharply.

She throws money down on the table before racing out of the coffee shop and I slam my hand down on the table in frustration. Her words hitting my like a knife. Every single one of them hitting me harder and harder than before until they were crushing me.

I sit there for a moment longer before realizing that her keys are still sitting on the table and can't help but smirk. The girl was always leaving her keys somewhere.

I throw my money on the table before grabbing her keys and taking off, knowing exactly where she would be.

It only takes me a short five minutes before I spot her on our bench at a little park down the street from the shop.

I sit down by her slowly and watch as she hastily wipes the tears from her cheeks. "I left my keys."

I nod, but don't offer them up. We were finishing this conversation whether I had to hold her captive or not. "You did."

She silent for a moment before she looks over at me and I can see the redness and the tired look in her eyes. "Why'd you do it? Sleep with her. Did you really hate me that much?"

I shake my head at her, she just doesn't get it. "I don't hate you. I could never hate you… I am sorry Gabby. You'll never understand how much I regret it. She meant nothing, and I know how much it has hurt you, it's not something I am proud of. But like I said. We weren't together then… you can't hold it over my head forever."

She wipes another tear from her eyes and nods. "I know. I know that I just… It doesn't make me feel any better."

I nod because I understand that. If I were in her shoes I am sure I would feel the same. "I'm sorry, for bringing up the Mills thing. It was unnecessary..."

"I didn't realize you still felt that way about it all…" I don't say anything. The truth was I hadn't realized I still felt that way either. I thought I was over it. She grabs my hand and squeezes it lightly. Her next words sincere. "I really didn't mean to hurt you so much… I was sad, and scared, and felt alone, and Mills was there as a friend. I promise you that was all it was. That's all it will ever be with him and I. I am sorry for what I said to him…"

"You didn't say anything wrong Gabby… While I don't appreciate Mills being the one to comfort you, I see why you did it now… I shut you out."

She nods. "Yeah but I am still sorry, because I know how much it hurt you now, and I never intended that. Not at all."

It doesn't take me long to realize that our hands are still entwined, but I don't say anything and we are both silent in that time before I speak up.

"Why'd you leave?" It was an accusation, and I'm glad when she doesn't take it as one, but I can feel her hand tense in mine and I give it a comforting squeeze.

"Matt… you have to understand when I say I really thought it was our only option… We just, we weren't the same people that went into that relationship. We were people who avoided each other, who went out on all night drinking binges to ignore the other. We didn't talk, and when we did we were hardly civil. I tried Matt, I did. And I'm not blaming it all on you, I'm not. I'm no saint, but I just… we were spiraling out of control and I was afraid if we didn't take some space then there would be nothing left of us to salvage. I couldn't bare that thought…"

I nod. Understanding everything she'd said, even if it still hurt to think about.

"There was a selfish part of me who really just wanted to see you fight for me… to chase me maybe… I mean that isn't why I did it, wasn't even a thought at the time, but I guess I didn't really realize how much I wished you would have until after I was already gone…"

"I think our wall wishes I would've chased after you too…" I joke lightly.

"What?" She laughs confused at my words.

"I may have punched a hole in our wall after you left."

"May have?" She quips.

"Okay. Definitely did." We both share a soft laugh, we were a couple of winners for sure. "You have no idea how much I regretted not going after you or fighting for you once you were gone, Gabby…" I tell her sincerely. Thinking of all the time I spent kicking myself for that decision. "It was hard losing you. Watching you walk out that door. It was hard seeing you every day, it was hard letting you go. It was all hard. _It's still all, really, hard._"

"I know…" She whispers, and she did, I knew she did.

"I'm sorry for everything you know? For shutting you out when we were together. For not treating you like any other Candidate. For letting you leave, for not fighting back. For all the hateful things I said. For Beth. For everything. I truly am."

She squeezes my hand, meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry too. For… all of it. The fighting. For being a pain in the ass on calls and testing your patients. For walking out… All of it Matt… I'm sorry."

"I forgive you…"

She smiles and I see the tears in her eyes that she hold back with a smile.

"I forgive you too…"

"Where does this leave us…?" I ask her after a beat of silence and watch her tense before whispering, "I really don't know."

I turn towards her, grabbing both her hands and forcing her to look at me. "How about this… We take this slow, and we work on our friendship before anything else... We were best friends before we were ever more and I think even as a couple we lost sight of that. I want it all back Gabby, but I want that back most of all. I want my best friend back."

I quickly wipe the tear away that has made its way down her cheek and she is nuzzling her head in my hand as she looks back at me. "I love the sound of that."

"Good… We'll just see where it goes from there." I confirm and she nods again as I pull her into my side for a much needed hug. Both of us knowing this is probably the healthiest conversation we have ever had in our years of friendship and love.

_**Dawson**_

My mind is full of Casey. All of my thoughts revolving around him since our conversation this morning. I can't get him out of my mind. It feels so amazing to be on steady ground with him. Better than just steady ground. Friends. Best Friends. I'd missed him, and it was nice to have him back in my life.

But I knew even the greatest of friendships wouldn't slow down the quick growth of our every appearing child, and soon I would have to tell him. Truthfully I was getting closer and closer to _wanting _to tell him. I wanted too, I really did. I was just scared. Before I was scared because we weren't even talking and I was so hurt by him. Now I was scared because we were just getting our friendship back, and I was scared that my keeping this from him would hurt any progress we made. I promised myself I would tell him before my next appointment in two weeks. No matter what. I would tell him before then.

I figured that was a good goal. Two weeks. That gave me two weeks to work up the courage. I shook the thought that by that time I would have had a month to tell him off and decided that sticking with my plan is a great idea.

I'm pulled from my thoughts as Brett sits down in front of me and I make her the drink she has ordered. "Hey, I take it you are feeling better tonight?" I ask referring to her hangover this morning.

"Much. Thanks for taking care of me last night. I hope I didn't ruin your fun though."

"Not at all, don't worry about it." I tell her quickly. When I see that she is looking down I'm quick to ask her what's wrong, and not at all surprised when the conversation leads back to Cruz.

"…I came to Chicago to start a whole new life for myself. But somehow I ended up back on the couch watching movies with my boyfriend."

I have a quick thought about how a night in with a movie and dinner with Casey sounded perfect, and quickly realized that maybe Brett and I weren't so similar after all.

"I adore Cruz. I am so lucky to have him in my life and I know that… But it's not the life I want…"

I barely hear her words. Too deep in thought about Casey and baby Casey that is growing like a weed. To busy thinking about the life I wanted. The life I was going to have with this baby. With Casey. All these thoughts are swirling in my mind and before I can stop myself two words are tumbling out of my mouth, shocking both Brett and myself.

"I'm pregnant…"

**Score that for 2 that now know about little baby Casey. Who will find out next? How will Casey take the news when he does find out?**

**Very important question for you all, Boy or Girl. I am undecided so if you are thinking of a preference speak now or forever hold your peace. **

**Hope you liked this update, and don't worry, even though the show is on a little break I am behind on the shows storyline so there will be an update or two, or three in that time span.**

**But if you all really loved me you would Review, Review, Review. **

**Thanks all you lovely reading souls! **


	5. I Should've Told You

**A/N: Alright everyone here is the deal, I am currently 2 chapters ahead in this story. BUT, I am trying to spread them out throughout the Chicago Fire hiatus. So the plan is to have an update once a week. I would try for more, but I am still trying to keep this story going along with most of the CF story lines, so since it is on a break I don't want to get too ahead of myself. So expect an update once a week for now on, as it has been. I'd love to update for you all more, but I really want to continue with the CF storylines, (it makes it much easier to write honestly, and much more interesting in my opinion, they've given me great ideas for this story). **

**I'm glad you are all enjoying this story! All the positive feedback is making it so much fun to write. I'm honestly blown away by the response. You are all truly amazing and I can't thank you enough. All I want to do is write anymore because the feedback you all give is just so humbling. So thank you so very much!**

**This update is sure to be an emotional rollercoaster right down to the last words, so don't hate me. You've all been waiting for this one, hope it doesn't disappoint!**

_Disclaimer: Still here, not owning anything. King Haas and NBC own it all unfortunately. But baby Dawson/Casey is all mine, so who is the real lucky one here? I mean come on. _

_**Dawson **_

I had found myself in a beautiful dreamland, Matthew Casey the object of every dream. The dream I was currently in filled with images of our last weekend away. We had gone to my parent's cabin outside of the city and spent a weekend there to ourselves. Swimming in the lake, fishing on the boat, late nights alone around the fire. It was a beautiful weekend away. Full of laughter, and love, and love making. It had been much needed at the time. I'd fallen in love all over again with Matt that weekend. It was perfect.

I'm drawn out of that perfect dream when the curtains are ripped open and the bright light of the sun is shining through harshly. I groan, lifting my head and trying to open my eyes to the ungodly light, but it was futile with my heavy lids. "What's going on?"

Brett's voice fills my ears and its only seconds later that my fuzzy eyes are able to focus on the little blonde as she makes her way around my room. Unfortunately, opening my second window, letting even more light in. "Up!"

Is her only reply and I groan again, flopping my head back into the pillow and covering myself once again with the blanket, trying to hide the bright light. "Not happening, too early."

"No, no, no. Not too early. Not too early at all Dawson!" She rambles, moving to my closest in what I assume is to keep herself busy. "Do remember what you told me last night? You told me you're pregnant! Pregnant! That is not something you can just drop on a girl when she is ranting to you about a possible break up with her boyfriend and then just leave her at the bar and ignore her, and go back to work like you said nothing…"

I groan lowly, I knew eventually Brett would be hounding me for more information. I just figured she would let me get more than 5 hours of sleep before doing so. I slowly sit up in bed and pull the covers away as she ignores me and continues to ramble, something I learned she did when she was nervous or uneasy like this.

"God you told me you were pregnant and then you said nothing more and continued serving drinks as if you didn't just drop a life altering bomb." I can't help but roll my eyes, Brett was acting like she was the damn father. "I mean, so you're pregnant. How far along are you? How long have you known? Who else knows? Is it Casey's!? Oh my God, it has to be right? You haven't… have you?" I pull myself from the bed and watch Brett as she digs through one of my dresser drawers and refolds a couple of shirts to busy herself, before whirling around to face me.

"I feel like I don't even know you…" She stops mid-sentence and stares me down as I stand beside my bed with my arms crossed, watching her with a raised brow as she tears through my room. "Whoa… Uh, when did that happen?" She whispers with wide eyes.

I look down at my tank top and short covered form to where my top had ridden up and my stomach was on full display. I fix my top nervously at her intense stare and shrug a shoulder. "About a week ago…"

"Dawson…" She whispers, meeting my eyes now, all of this apparently just becoming real to her and any fight she was going to put up for not being told earlier leaving her.

"I know…" I whisper and can feel the tears coming to my eyes.

Brett is on me in a minute and wrapping me up in a bear hug, her voice in my ear. "You're really pregnant."

"I am."

She pulls away giving me a serious look. "Is it Casey's?"

I roll my eyes at her, I knew this question was more for the fact that if it wasn't she wanted to know who and why she was not told, but I'm quick to answer. "Of course."

She nods, satisfied with this, before pulling me into a tight hug again.

We sit down at the kitchen table not long after and Brett is grilling me with questions. When I tell her the Hermann's were the only ones who knew she fakes offense at 'being so late to the party' and I can only laugh at her.

"So Casey doesn't know?"

I shake my head 'no', thinking about the man who had occupied my every thought lately.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Of course I am. He's the father. He deserves to know."

"So… Why haven't you told him yet then?" She questions as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"It's just… It's been really hard between us. Every time I worked up the courage something came up and we were fighting and… I don't know. I guess I'm just a coward…"

"You're not a coward Dawson, you're just scared, and in love… and well, pregnant." She laughs, "Besides I'm sure it isn't easy when you two are either at each other's throats or ignoring each other like the plague."

I look at her nervously, thinking about how I had yet to tell her about Casey and I's talk the morning before. She catches my look and squints, pointing an accusing finger at me. "What else are you not telling me?"

I sigh. "Actually… Casey and I went to breakfast yesterday… We had a long talk about us, about the break up, and everything really."

Her jaw drops and she slaps my hand. "Okay, new rule of the roommate code, no more secrets! I feel like you've been living a double life on me Dawson." She jokes.

"I kind of feel like I have been," I confess. "I promise… No more secrets."

_**Hermann**_

Showing up at work today I can feel something different in the air the minute I enter the common room. I study the place and take note of Mouch on the couch swatting at Otis to leave the remote alone, -nothing different there.

Capp is at the long table with Severide eating breakfast. Brett is working on a crossword and Cruz is across from her reading a magazine. While Pouch lay on the floor watching it all unfold, waiting for someone to drop some table scraps for her. All is normal.

And then I catch sight of Dawson at the little round table. Laughing and looking at the computer screen in front of her… Casey beside her, both of their heads thrown back in laughter. I watch Casey get up and refill his coffee, offering Dawson some, before they are both back to looking at the computer. Discussing something and laughing away.

I wasn't sure what was going on there, but you could just feel it in the air. The lightness. Like all was right in the house again. I walk to the coffee pot and throw a look over my shoulder at Dawson and she send me a coy smile back. She gets up from the table and slides up beside me getting a glass of decaf.

"You wanna tell me what's going on there?" I whisper nodding my head in Casey's direction.

She shrugs, but the smile is still glued to her face as she whispers, "Friends, just taking it slow."

I nod appreciatively, happy that they have crossed that hurdle. "Good for you… So he knows…?"

Dawson doesn't meet my eyes as she shakes her head before looking back up at me. "Baby steps." She whispers before turning back to the table.

Oh we definitely would be having a conversation later.

The bells chime calling us to a fire and we are all up and racing to the trucks. I take note of Casey when he almost runs into Dawson and catches her shoulders, sending her a lopsided smile, making sure she was fine before rushing off. I bump Dawson on the shoulder as she puts her turnouts on and I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at her causing her to laugh, but shakes her head at me before hopping in to the back.

All of it happened so fast. One minute I was in the truck. The next I was trudging my way up the stairs with Dawson in tow. Next thing I remember is Dawson telling me I was too far ahead and then Chiefs calls to leave the building. I remember turning to follow Dawson as she raced down the stairs, but I froze. The distinct sound of a child crying filling my ears.

I wasn't leaving without him. No way.

The next thing I remember after that was dangling out of a top story window with the little boy wrapped in my arms. It all happened so fast. One minute I was in that room wrapping him in a blanket the next I was halfway out the window holding on for dear life.

It doesn't take long before we are all back at the firehouse and Dawson is letting Casey and I know Boden needs to talk to us. And after leaving his office all I can feel is rage coursing through me from the video we were just shown.

The father I had talked with, the one that had acted so scared of losing his kid, the father I had comforted; was the man who was possibly behind it all. A man who would do such a thing to a child.

I couldn't even fathom it. The thought of any person putting their hands on a child was too much to bare, but to learn it was the child's own father? It was unimaginable.

When shift ends all I can feel is anger coursing through me, and all I can think of is revenge for that little boy who was clinging to life.

_**Dawson**_

"Hey Dawson!" I look up to see Casey making his way towards me and feel my heart rate pick up as it often did whenever he was near. "You talked to Hermann much since that call?" He questions.

I shake my head. "A little, but not much. He wasn't really in the talking mood."

Casey nods in understanding and we both take off out of the locker room. "I'm worried about him."

"Yeah me too. He's not taking that call well at all… Can't say I blame him." I say, thinking of the possibility of our child ever going through what this kid was going through. Trying to put myself in Hermann's shoes, a father of 5. I couldn't imagine what he was feeling when he pulled that kid out of the fire.

We both step out of the firehouse just in time to see Hermann on the phone, over hearing that he was talking to Cindy about meeting someone about a shipment for Molly's. A shipment I knew was not coming in. I could see the look in his eyes. I had an idea of what he had in mind.

We watch him stalk off towards his vehicle and Matt and I share a concerned look.

Matt squeezes my shoulder and nods towards his truck. "I think I'm gonna keep an eye on him."

"Okay," I say as I watch him start to walk down the drive after throwing a smile my way.

"Hey Matt… You, uh, you want some company?" I ask him nervously.

He turns, already a few feet away from me, and a smile graces his features. "You sure?"

I can only nod, my smile matching his.

"I'd love some."

He motions towards his truck again and I'm at his side in an instant both of us laughing as he slings an arm over my shoulder. "Come on you knucklehead." He jokes, rubbing his knuckle over my head and messing up the ponytail I had created earlier.

I push him away with a laugh. "Jerk." I mumble.

He fakes offense and pulls the pony tail, -that was already falling out thanks to him-, out completely and flings the black elastic at me.

Just like old times, I think, as we both laugh and hop into his truck.

We follow Hermann to a random house where he hops out and heads inside. We stay in Matt's truck, keeping our distance. Not wanting to completely invade Hermann's personal space, but also wanting to make sure he wasn't about to do anything stupid.

Matt looks over at me with his signature grin. "Your brother would be proud." He jokes. "Look at you being all detective." I can't help, but snort with laughter and throw a chip at him that we had stopped off to grab. He picks it off where it has landed on his shirt and pops it into his mouth with a laugh. "I'm serious," He starts to joke again. "I'm sure he'd love this little stakeout we've got going on." He laughs again as he motions to the other snacks we had picked up.

"Yeah, Antonio is not be so impressed with my detective skills after the whole Gish thing and having to save my ass, he'd probably be less than impressed to know I'm getting myself into this." I retort, trying to joke.

But Matt doesn't laugh, and I see his knuckles go white as he grips the steering wheel tight.

"Matt?" I question him confused at his change in demeanor.

He shakes his head. "I just can't believe that Gish, what he did to Shay… To all those people… What he could've done to you…" He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and I rest my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm his racing thoughts. "I'm sorry… It's just. If something were to have happened to you… I, I don't know what I…" He stops himself and I grab his hand squeezing it tightly in mine.

"Hey. Matt, look at me." He slowly turns his gaze to me and I can see the anguish in his eyes. The anguish that was there over the thought of losing me. "I'm here, okay? I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." I convince him softly, giving him a sweet smile.

He squeezes my hand in his, but before anymore can be said we spot Hermann hopping back into his van and peeling off. We are quick to follow him trail and soon end up in front of a rundown bar.

"Hermann! Stop! Get off of him, man!" I hear Matt holler as he pulls Hermann away from the bloodied up man on the ground. "It's over! It's over! Look at him… It's over."

I'm frozen to my spot as I watch the whole thing unfold. Paralyzed in the middle of the bar. Watching as Matt holds Hermann back before pulling out his phone and calling the 21st district.

Matt pulls Hermann over to a booth and tells him to sit down before walking back over to me, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder, bringing me out of my shocked state. "Hey, you okay?"

I nod quickly, "Yeah. Yeah I'm good. Just intense."

Matt nods and squeezes my shoulder again before walking to the door to great Burgess and Roman.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding before making my way over to Hermann, offering all the comfort I could muster in that moment.

It was over. We'd got the guy. Hermann, had got the guy. It was over.

"You okay?" I ask setting a drink down in front of Matt.

It was almost midnight and I had the closing shift at Molly's tonight. I'd sent Otis home, and had told Hermann he could go as well, that I could close up on my own, but he had opted to stay. Switching sides of the counter and having a few too many drinks. More than what he would normally have.

Matt sighs and runs his hand over his face before motioning down the bar to a disheveled Hermann. "I'm fine. Just worried about him."

I rest my hand on his comfortingly. "He's tough. He'll be okay."

He gives me a grateful look and squeezes my hand. "You wanna get dinner after next shift?" He asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.

I bite my lip, a thought coming to my mind, not sure how he will take it. "Actually Brett said something about going over to Cruz's that night… Why don't you come over, I can make supper. Living with Severide I'm sure you haven't had a home cooked meal in a while?" I offer nervously.

His smile beams back at me. "That sounds perfect honestly."

We share a soft smile and then I find myself across the bar setting another shot down in front of Hermann. "You know any good bartender would cut me off?" He slurs.

I smirk. "Yeah well I guess I'm not a good bartender than. Besides you deserve it, and your ride is still here." I joke motioning down the bar towards Matt. Both of us knowing the only reason he was still here was to make sure Hermann got home safe.

Hermann shook his head, an unreadable expression filling his features. "You two are getting along huh?" He slurs again.

"Yeah, we really are." I answer happily, thinking about our dinner in two days.

"You tell him he's gonna be a father yet?"

I sigh. "Not yet."

Hermann shakes his head at me in frustration and take one last big gulp of his beer before standing up and leaning over the bar. "Tell him Dawson… or I will." He slurs, an edge to his voice that was so unlike him.

"Hermann…" I whisper, not knowing whether or not to trust his word with his drunken state.

"I'm serious Dawson… A guy deserves to know he's gonna be a father. Tell him."

I'm left standing behind the bar as Matt helps Hermann stumble out of the bar. Matt throws me a smile and a wave as he walks out of the bar, practically carrying Hermann with him. I sigh in frustration. This was all becoming too much. It was so amazing to have Matt back in my life. Our friendship coming back so easy to us over the last couple of days since our talk. We'd been able to put everything in the past and just get our friendship back. I knew when he found out what I'd been hiding from him it could ruin all the progress we had made… and I knew that would be my own fault.

_2 days later…_

It had been a rough couple of days at the firehouse for all of us. Yesterday on shift we were called to the hospital where we learned that the little boy who had been clinging to life the past few days had sadly passed away. There are losses on this job that stick with all of us, ones that we carry with us for weeks, months, years, sometimes forever.

This was one of those calls for most of us. For Hermann especially. Everyone had tried to be there for him, but he wouldn't let any of us in. I was glad to hear from Cindy this morning that he was opening up to her and talking about it.

I was relieved when shift ended this morning after the tough day before, but mostly because I knew that Matt was coming over that night and that neither of us would have to deal with the shift before on our own. Matt had always been my biggest supporter when things got rough on shift, and it felt nice knowing that we were getting back to that.

But I knew that tonight also meant an opportunity to tell Matt about the baby. I wasn't sure yet if I was going to be using that opportunity or not, but what I did know was that we would be spending an evening alone in my apartment in comfy clothes, eating a home cooked meal, watching movies, and talking about anything and everything. What I did know was I would be a fool not to use tonight as an opportunity to tell him.

Matt showed up at my door at 6 with two of my favorite movies and two pints of our favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream in his hands. When I opened the door there he stood in his sweats holding the items out to me as if they had been sent from the Gods. I joked that mint chocolate chip ice cream was a gift from God and he could only laugh at me.

He was in a pair of his favorite sweatpants and an old CFD shirt and I wore an old sweater, that he took quick note was his by the appreciative look on his face the moment he saw me in it. I could have sworn I heard him mutter something about me in his clothes as he entered, but I said nothing. I had worn my yoga pants and one of his sweaters for two reason, they were my favorite comfy attire on any given day, and I knew how much Matt had always loved me in his clothes, and also how much he loved my butt in my yoga pants. We may not be together, or even in the realm of close to together right now, but it was still nice knowing I could get the same reaction out of him that he still got out of me.

After the events of the last shift we had decided that are home cooked meal would be a lazy night of food and movies, neither of us feeling up to much after the devastating loss of the little boy. All I wanted to do was eat and curl up on the couch in Matt's arms. I knew 'curling up in his arms' would most likely actually be sitting next to each other on the couch, but that was enough for me. Just having him close to me was enough anymore.

After our meal we sat down for a movie, but it was soon forgotten when we started talking about anything and everything. Neither of us seeming to mind, both enjoying the others company too much to complain. Our conversation soon drifted to the events of last shift and Matt's next words had my mind racing.

"I can't imagine how Hermann is feeling. Saving that kid, risking his life, only for him too…" He stopped, thinking of the death of the young boy. "I mean last year the when I saved that baby I almost lost my life, but knowing that baby was safe was all that mattered. It's still all that mattered." Thinking of Matt's injury from the year before had tears stinging my eyes, as they almost always did when it was brought up. Thinking about the days that he had laid unconscious and I wasn't sure when he would wake up, or if he would. "In our jobs you do everything you can to save a life and even that's not enough sometimes… That was such a great save for Hermann, too. One of the best I have ever seen in my career. I just can't imagine what he is feeling, especially as a father…" He trails off thinking about Hermann once again and I sigh at the mention of fatherhood. To tell Matt or not to tell him, had weighed on my mind all night. Taking me away from our conversations more than I would like to admit.

We were having an amazing night, and I didn't want to ruin it… but I knew I had too.

I vaguely hear Matt start talking again, my mind so full of thoughts about our baby and how to tell him he was going to be a father, that I only catch the end of his sentence. "…I mean I don't know what got into Hermann at that bar… I've never seen him like that."

"Yeah…" I whisper, not sure what all had been said for sure.

"Seeing a parent, hurting their child… I, I can't even imagine. You know? It's terrible… I wish I knew what Hermann was going through." He says sincerely. Wanting to put himself in Hermann's shoes. To understand the pain a father felt by seeing another father hurt their own child. His is silent for a while before he looks at me with sincere eyes.

Oh God… I had to tell him.

"Matt…" I say softly, I can already feel the lump in my throat and my eyes stinging.

"Gabby…" He says at the same time. Before I can continue he beats me too it, "These last couple of days… talking and hanging out have been great. I'm really glad we are getting our friendship back…" Oh god, he wasn't making this any easier with his sweet words, only making me feel worst. "I know I never said it before, but I've really missed you over the past few months. It's been hard, not having you around. You've always been there for me, and I don't know… It's been really great having you back in my life. Like the old days…" I can't do this. I can't let him be so sweet and sincere when I am harboring life changing news. Life changing news that could make him either want to continue this conversation or never talk to me again for keeping it from him. I can't keep it from him anymore. "I guess what I am trying to say Gabby is…"

Word vomit… It should be a symptom of pregnancy. At least for me. It was constantly happening. The next words tumbling out of my mouth and cutting off whatever Matt was about to confess.

"Matt, I'm pregnant…"

We stare at each other in complete silence, mouths agape. Both of us shocked at my words.

Matt shakes his head, the words processing in his mind. "You're pregnant?"

I nod my head biting my lip so fiercely I was sure to draw blood… "_We're_ pregnant." I clarify softly.

He looks at me in utter shock and confusion. "I, you, we… How?" He stutters, not giving me a chance to answer before the next words leave his mouth. "How long have you known?"

There it is. The question I was dreading. The question I knew was going to ruin any and all progress we had made, the question that I knew was going to ruin this night. My silence doesn't help the situation and I can see frustration set into his lost features and I have to look away as I mumble. "About a month…"

He's off the couch in an instant pacing in front of me. "A month?! You've known a month and you haven't said anything to me? God, Gabby we see each other almost every damn day! How could you not tell me about this!?" His voice is rising with almost every syllable.

"Matt…" I try, my voice trembling. I'm not going to cry I tell myself. I don't deserve to cry over his reaction, I caused this.

"I can't…" He shakes his head grabbing his coat off the chair. "I can't do this."

"Matt!" I holler after him as he makes his way to the door.

He stops in the doorway, turning and meeting my eyes for the first time since I confessed how long I had known of the pregnancy. I see the tired look in his eyes and the hurt I put there and I can't believe I ever kept this from him.

"You should've told me, Gabby… You should've told me…" He whispers.

The echo of the door slamming behind him is my breaking point, I drop to the couch as the tears finally flow down my face, sobs racking through my body... This was all my fault.

Matt was right. _He was so right._

I should've told him.

***hides behind computer* Ah, hope you liked it! Meet you all back here next week for the fall out. Things are about to get a little crazy. **

**You have been warned… dun dun dun.**

**Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought! **

**Review, Review, Review. **

**XXX**


	6. Are You In, Or Are You Out?

**A/N: So I'm back a little earlier than a week, and I may have lied last chapter. I originally only planned to update once a week, but my muse has ran away with me and I've gotten pretty far ahead in this story so updates will be more frequent as long as you guys are still interested! The last chapter wasn't quite as popular as the ones before, so I'm hoping I'm not losing you guys, I still have so much planned for this story.**

**Only a little over a week until the next Chicago Fire! So excited, the promo pics look insane, so it should be a good one! I'm secretly hoping for multiple Dawsey moments that episode. We only have 5 episodes left this season and I'm really hoping for a Dawsey reunion before this season ends. We all know they are meant to be and I know that although Derek Haas like to tease us, he knows they are meant to be too. **

**For those of you that have asked about an update to After The Smoke Clears, it is still in the works… I promise it is getting there and whenever it is finished I will be updating!**

_Disclaimer: Still own nothing, all rights are reserved for Derek Haas, Dick Wolf, and NBC. Those lucky ducks. _

_**Brett**_

I had a great night with Cruz. It had really felt like we got our relationship back on track. He'd taken me out, we had a long talk, and I had spent the night. It was nice. All of it. The smile was still planted on my face at 8 the next morning when I left his place.

I walk up to our apartment door and wonder how Gabby's night went with Casey, hoping she had as great a night as I did. She had told me Casey was coming over for dinner and a movie, when I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively at her she had rolled her eyes and told me that was not going to happen in no uncertain terms. I could only laugh. Those two were kidding themselves, they both loved each other. I didn't get to see too much of the two of them together, but the little that I did it was clear. Even now when they weren't together it was clear. They loved each other. There was no doubt about that, even if the two of them didn't realize it.

I go to push my key in the lock only to find the door unlocked. I'm not sure whether to worry, or not. Two different thoughts running through my head. Either someone had broken in, or the two of them had gotten too preoccupied to lock the door. I shook my head at that thought, but slowly pushed the door open anyways.

The place didn't look ransacked, but once I stepped inside completely I realized that the two thoughts I had before couldn't compare to what I was seeing now.

Gabby lay curled in a ball on the couch in a restless sleep. Her face puffy and red and her hair a tangled mess. The kitchen still held the dirty dishes from the night before. Two pints of ice cream sat melting on the coffee table. The TV had the menu to the DVD they were watching playing over and over, the upbeat music and Gabby's little whimpers in her sleep the only thing echoing through the apartment.

Something had happened between the two, and from the state of the apartment, and the sad girl on the couch I knew that it couldn't have been good.

When I look back at Gabby her eyes are now open and I can see just how bloodshot they are. She doesn't say anything and neither do I, but it only takes a few seconds for her to completely wake up from whatever bad dream she had been in and come back to reality, only to apparently realize reality was just as much of a nightmare. There are tears in her eyes in an instant and a sob leaves her lips and I am on her in a second.

"Oh Gabby, honey, what happened?" I whisper, sitting down on the floor in front of the couch and resting a comforting hand on her back, brushing the hair out of her face with the other.

I'd never seen her like this. This lost and heartbroken, her eyes full of so much despair that they were almost lifeless. Like all the emotions she was feeling were too much for her eyes to even portray.

She sucks in a couple of breaths, trying to get a grip over herself, but fails miserable. The tears just keep coming fast and hard. "Gabs…" I whisper.

She finally composes herself enough to talk, and it's then that I realize just how raspy her voice is and I wonder how much sleep she has actually gotten, and how much crying she has done. "He knows."

I look at her in confusion for a moment, before it finally clicks. Casey knows. She told him about the baby. From the state she is in I easily guess that he didn't take it well.

"Okay…" I say softly, not sure what else to say and not wanting to push her. Hot tears are still streaming down her cheeks and I'm still rubbing her back, trying to soothe her as much as possible, though I know it is probably futile. The only person who can truly make Gabby Dawson feel better is the only person capable of making her feel this way in the first place, this heartbroken and lost.

Her next words come out in a whimper and if I wasn't paying as close attention to her as I was I'm sure I wouldn't hear them. "He, he left." She cries, "I, I told him and he, he walked out."

"Oh Gabby." Sobs take over her body once again, and I crawl on the couch bringing her into my arms as best as I can, wanting to comfort her as much as possible. "It's gonna be okay." I try.

She shakes her head. "No Sylvie… I, I really screwed this all up." She pauses to hiccup, her voice still so raspy and heartbroken that every word she says is breaking my own heart. "I should've told him sooner. It's all, it's all my fault."

"This isn't your fault Gabby. Okay? You were scared, no one can blame you for that." I soothe, but it only makes her cry more.

"He hates me…" She whimpers, and I'm not entirely sure if she is talking to me or just talking in general. She's barely acknowledged my presence, too many tears blurring her vision.

"Casey could never hate you Gabby… he loves you." I realize those aren't the best words when she only cries more, but before I can continue she beats me too it. Her next words breaking my heart as her hand comes to rest on her stomach.

"I, I can't do this, I can't do this alone, Sylvie… I can't." She whimpers, her biggest fear finally confessed.

I force her to sit up enough that I can rest my hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. "You are never going to be alone Gabriella Dawson. You got it? I promise you that. You've got so many people who love you." I opt to leave Casey out of that remark, knowing that it would probably be more harm than good to the state she is in now. "I promise you, I am not going to let you do this alone." I convince her.

She shakes her head, but says nothing more, and I hold her close and let her cry. Realizing this is probably what she really needs. To let it all out after so long of keeping it all in.

It's almost an hour later that she finally drifts off to sleep and looking down at the broken girl whose head is resting in my lap, her face still full of tear stains, I know I needed to do everything in my power to be there for her through this.

_**Kelly**_

Walking into the apartment at 4am I don't expect to find Matt there at all, let alone ten sheets to the wind, nursing what I realized was _my_ almost empty bottle of scotch, and beer bottles littering the counter.

From what I was told he was supposed to be having dinner with Gabby at her place, I honestly hadn't expected him to be home at all tonight with the way the two of them had been warming up to each other again.

Clearly something had happened, and from the mess of alcohol that surrounded the blonde I could tell it hadn't been good.

I cautiously walk up behind him, making my way over to the fridge and grabbing a beer of my own. He doesn't even acknowledge me, only throws back another shot of the scotch. In any other circumstances I probably would have gave him hell for drinking my bottle, but clearly this was serious. Matt Casey wasn't this guy. I knew what ever happened between him and Gabby had rattled him enough to cause a late night drinking binge, even with the break up I had convinced him not to do that, so this was bad. Really bad.

His silence eventually starts to get to me and I ask, "What's going on man?"

His eyes meet mine and there is a look there that I had never seen before in the 8 plus years of knowing Matt Casey.

He pours another shot and throws it back, whipping his mouth before finally speaking. "She's pregnant."

I almost choke on the beer I've just drunk. My mind racing. Pregnant. What? But most importantly, who. "Beth?" I stutter.

Casey laughs humorlessly and shakes his head. "Nope!" He takes a long swig of the bottle, not even bothering with the shot glass this time. Now I'm just confused. "Dawson." He confirms.

My eyes go wide and I'm sure my mouth has dropped. In the few minutes that I'm silent Casey manages to stumble to the fridge and grab out another beer. Sitting once again and popping the top, drinking a quarter of it in record time before I finally find my voice.

"Dawson? Dawson's pregnant?" I ask his disbelievingly. Dawson looked like a lost puppy the majority of the time she was around Casey. He looked the same around her. There was no way Dawson could've slept with someone else. I didn't think she had it in her. Hell, I didn't think Casey had it in him either, but he had done it.

I now don't blame Matt for the state he was in. The girl he loved was having a baby, someone else's baby. I'd be this way too. I can't even imagine what Matt is feeling… He pulls me out of my thoughts with his next words. "I'm gonna be a Dad." He slurs, completely throwing me for a loop.

I shake my head, trying to process the little information I had been given. "Wait, Dawson's pregnant…? And you are the father…?" I ask, trying to figure this mess out that had Casey doing some serious damage to his liver.

He nods. "Yup."

I shake my head again. "Isn't this a good thing?" I question, not really sure on his angle here. Casey wanted kids. He'd wanted to be a dad for years now. He loved Dawson, they were getting along again, or at least they had been. What was the problem?

Casey rolls his eyes at my words and takes a swig of his beer. "She's known for a month Kelly. A month." He hisses. "She's seen me what, every day? Since she found out. And she never told me. God, she's been working Kelly! She's a damn firefighter Kelly! Do you know how much danger she put herself in!?" He hollers, though I know that last question is rhetorical. We were all firefighters, we all knew the danger.

I quickly realize that this has nothing to do with the baby. Matt isn't mad or sad about the baby. In fact, I'm sure once the dust settles he's going to be pretty damn happy about it, maybe scared, but definitely happy. Right now he was mad at Gabby. Mad that he wasn't told about it. Mad that she could have been hurt under his watch. Just mad. And I was sure, though he wouldn't admit it, mad that he hadn't realized it during that time on his own.

"Matt…" He's quick to cut me off.

"God Kelly. She just… she's got to be what…" He pauses, trying to do the math in his head on how long they'd been apart. I role my eyes when this takes much longer than it should in his drunken state. "Three? No four?! Four! At least four months pregnant!" He pauses for a moment, proud of himself for figuring that out on his own before the angry look takes over again and he is back to ranting. "She's four months pregnant Kelly… She's known for a month. How could she not tell me?" He asks now, his voice softening and I can hear the genuine confusion and hurt in his voice now.

I shake my head at him. "Casey man, think back to where the two of you were a month ago." I can see the wheels turning in his head, but I interrupt the thought process knowing it could take longer than I was whiling to wait with him still in this drunken state and not able to make many coherent thoughts. "You'd slept with Beth. Gabby was just finding out… Then the two of you spent the past three weeks either yelling at each other or ignoring each other. You two just got back on good terms. Can you really blame the girl?" I question and watch as Matt bows his head, thinking about what I have said.

Matt and I had talked about Gabby quite a bit the past couple of weeks. Matt venting about everything that was going on and the way Gabby had been ignoring him. How they'd hurt each other and how he missed her. Everything and anything that Matt needed to get off his chest, he did. Usually a few drinks were needed to get him really talking, but I had heard more than enough about the two's relationship, or lack thereof, to know that Matt wasn't handling this the way I had expected him too.

Matt had been whining about wanting her back for weeks now. He had a chance at it, and he was pissing it away and I wasn't going to let him do it.

"Look Case, I know you're hurt and upset right now that she kept it from you. I get that. You have every right to be mad and angry, or whatever else you are feeling. But that still doesn't change the fact that Dawson is pregnant and the two of you are going to be parents. I know she kept it from you, but you also got to think about it in her perspective. She was probably scared. You two weren't together, and barely on speaking terms. What do you expect? You've both been in the wrong the past few months. Just let it go. You guys love each other and you are going to be parents… Is her not telling you right away really worth another couple months of you two at each other's throats and ignoring each other?"

Casey doesn't say anything and instead takes another drink of his beer. Maybe it's the drinks he has had, maybe it's that it is now nearing 5am and he hasn't slept much, or maybe it was just that he really wasn't ready to let this go yet. He rises from the chair and starts walking to his room. "Casey!" I holler after him, really not wanting to end this conversation here.

He whirls around, sloppily, and throws his hands up in defeat. "She should've told me Kelly! She should've told me."

I hear the echo of his door through the apartment as he slams it and I sigh in frustration. I couldn't blame Matt for being upset, but I also couldn't blame Dawson for her hesitance in telling him. Maybe a month was a little extensive in waiting, but they had also not been on good terms. They were both my friends. While Matt and I were much closer, Dawson still held a special place in my heart. She was like a little sister to me. I didn't want to choose sides because really the both of them had been in the wrong, there really wasn't a fair side to choose in the matter.

What I did know was that gently nudging Matt to talk to Dawson wasn't choosing sides, it was just being a good friend, right?

Matt affectively ignores me the rest of the next day. Leaving in the afternoon and not coming home that night. Clearly what I had said the night before wasn't appreciated and I realized that Matt was going to deal with this however he wanted to deal with it, and currently my input was not wanted. Which didn't mean I wasn't going to give it.

I don't see him again until we are on shift. I come early, knowing that it is most likely where Casey has crashed and hoping that I will get a minute alone with him before everyone else shows up. When I do see him I am not surprised to see that he is nursing a hangover. He looks rougher than I had ever seen him. I walk into the bathroom and can hear him getting sick in the stalls and roll my eyes. This wasn't Matt, and I wondered how long he would keep it up for.

"I guess maybe it's a good thing you didn't come home last night. Every time Dawson pisses you off you drink and a hole gets punched in the wall. Guess you saved yourself some trouble this time." I quip and only get a groan from the stall in return.

Eventually the toilet flushes and Matt makes his way out and to the sink splashing some water in his face. "Casey, what the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up, Kelly." He grunts, popping a few ibuprofen into his mouth, clearing not in the mood.

I don't much care.

"No, I'm not gonna shut up and let you act like an idiot right now. Dawson told you she's pregnant and you're gonna be a dad. Most people would be happy about that, what the hell is your problem?" I holler, feeling myself getting angrier by the minute at the Matthew Casey before me. Someone I was not use to seeing.

His fist slams down against the counter and he whirls to around to face me. "My problem!? My problem is that she's known for a month and didn't tell me! My problem is she made me feel like an ass for everything that was going on, made me feel like it was all my fault that she was ignoring me, when she was keeping this huge secret! My problem is she is a Candidate and didn't tell any of her superiors that she was pregnant! My problem is that she became my best friend again like nothing was wrong, like she wasn't keeping this from me! My problem is she had me believing we were at a point where we could trust each other, that we could possible get our relationship back! My problem is she had so many opportunities to tell me and she didn't! _That_ is my problem. And now my problem is that you won't leave me the hell alone about it!" He hollers. Otis walks into the room and pauses at the obvious tension in the air. Matt looks back and forth between the two of us with wild eyes before storming out of the room.

Otis looks at me in confusion, not having a clue as to what he just walked in on, I can only shake my head, trying to get my own anger at Casey, at this whole situation, out of my head right now.

_**Hermann**_

It had been a rough previous few days for me, but I was ready to come back to work and move on from the last few tough shifts. I wonder into the briefing room and can feel the tension in the air. Otis and Cruz are joking about something. Capp and Tony are talking about something or another, and Mouch is sitting patiently at one of the tables, no doubt just waiting for this to get over with so he can grab some breakfast and make his way to the couch. Mills comes in and I take a seat down beside him. Looking to one of the front tables where Brett and Dawson sat, closer than usual, whispering about something. I couldn't see Brett well, but I could see Gabby, and to be frank, -she looked like hell. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, her face was paler than usual, and her eyes were so bloodshot she would give any druggie a run for their money.

My eyes quickly move to Kelly, who come in looking pissed and flops down on the couch across the room, something obviously on his mind. It's only a few minutes later that I see Casey enter. He's looking even more pissed than Kelly, and like he has the mother of all hangovers, the scruff on his face making him look even worst for ware. What the hell had all happened since last shift?

Chief walks into the room and either doesn't take notice to any of the things that I have, or he chooses to ignore them. My mind is too busy trying to figure out what has all gone on between the rowdy bunch around me to focus on anything that has been said. The Chief walks out of the room and everyone is up soon after. I watch Gabby closely, my worry for her taking over. She walked carefully, as if even the act of walking was too much for her. I share a look with Mills as we walk into the common room. Gabby has headed behind the counter to start on breakfast, her usual task as Candidate. Mills must have taken notice of Gabby's demeanor as well and my silent nod towards her is enough for him to understand what I'm trying to say. I watch Mills pull the pans from Gabby's hands and usher for her to go sit down. When she doesn't protest, I really know something is wrong.

I watch Casey walk into the room for moment before quickly leaving, Gabby's eyes following him the whole way. I don't hesitate before walking over to her, pulling her to the locker room for a much needed talk. She follows me in silence and once she is sat down on the bench I take a seat across from her. "Dawson what's going on?"

She looks around and I can see tears building in her eyes. This isn't the feisty Dawson I am use to. That Dawson rarely, if ever, let anyone see her cry. "I told him…" She tells me softly. "He, uh… He walked out. I, I haven't been able to get a hold of him sense… He, uh, he ignores my calls." Her voice is devoid of any emotion and I know it is her way of trying to keep the tears lingering in her eyes at bay.

I shake my head, not even sure what to say. This was all one big mess. I knew Casey wouldn't take the news well. I just didn't know he would take it like this. Before either of us can say more Truck 81 is called off to a small car accident. Although I know Casey knows about the pregnancy now, I'm grateful when he doesn't give Dawson much of a job at all. Keeping her on the sidelines. He may be upset but at least he could tell as well as I, and anyone else around, that Dawson wasn't looking well.

On the way back from the call I'm sat in between Dawson and Otis and when Dawson leans down resting her head in her hands I softly ask her if she is okay. She mumbles back, nauseous, and Casey meets my eyes through the mirror. His eyes on Dawson and me. He was definitely still mad, but there was no denying the concern in his eyes for the brunette beside me.

I find myself entering the locker room just as Casey is about to leave. He walks past me for a moment before turning back around, coming to stand beside me as I dig for something in my locker.

"You knew, didn't you?" He questions, I look at him confused for a moment before realization sets in and I look away, not proud of keeping it from him. "That's why you were second guessing me on calls… making sure Dawson was on your hip?" He realizes quickly.

I can only nod. "I wanted to make sure she was safe." I admit.

He shakes his head, his voice low. "You should've told me Hermann..."

I nod again, "I know, I know. But I made her a promise. She deserved sometime to do it on her own. If she wouldn't have I would've told you."

His resolve softens now. "I saw you talking to her… How is she?"

"You need to talk to her Casey," is all I tell him. Still a little angry after learning that he had walked out on Dawson. I'm trying not to pick sides, but seeing the state Dawson is in today isn't helping me jump onto 'Team Casey' right now.

He shakes his head. "I just can't right now, okay? I know, I need too. I just know if I do, I'm going to say things I don't mean, things she doesn't want to hear. I'm too…" He lets out a heavy sigh, and I find myself feeling bad for him now. He wasn't ignoring Dawson to hurt her, he was ignoring her so he didn't hurt her. Under all the anger he was feeling he was really just looking out for her, I could respect that. Even if I didn't completely agree with it.

_**Casey**_

Somehow Dawson and I manage to avoid each other the rest of the shift, not that I should be surprised, we had become pros at it the past couple of months.

I'm still so angry… at her, at the situation, but I think mostly at myself. I spend the past month wishing Gabby would talk to me, watching her, and hoping she would forgive me. I don't know how I missed the signs. Now everything seemed so clear the more I thought about it. She had days were she felt terrible and like she hadn't gotten much sleep, -morning sickness. Every time I saw her she was wearing loose fitting clothes, -baby bump. Her and Hermann getting closer, protecting her on calls… It all seemed so clear to me now, and I was kicking myself for not realizing any of it. Severide's words from the other night ringing in my head about how Gabby had known a month, and a month ago I had slept with Beth. I found myself wondering exactly when Gabby found out, but also not wanting to know.

I couldn't explain the anger I was feeling, and I couldn't explain exactly what, or who, it was directed at either.

I find myself in a similar position at the kitchen table nursing my fifth beer. I'm not drunk, but I am feeling the buzz. I hear a knock at the door and I don't even bother to get up. Hoping whoever it is will just leave. I'm not in the mood for a social call. The knocking is persistent and soon I hear the voice of the woman who has consumed my every thought filling my ears. "Dammit, Casey, I know you're home." I hear her grumble, and really don't bother getting up now.

We needed to talk, but would that talk be tonight? Not if I had anything to do about it. She knocks a couple more times and then I hear her keys jingle and think maybe she has gotten the hint.

That is until I hear the lock click and the door close behind her and her shoes pad across the wooden floor. I hear her stop a few feet behind me, but I don't move as I mutter. "Should've changed the locks."

She scoffs. "Guess you should've."

I shake my head, still not turning to face her. Any forgiveness I had in me melting away and anger replacing it again. "What are you doing here, Dawson?"

"We need to talk."

It's my turn to scoff. "I vaguely remember saying that multiple times over the past few weeks… Wasn't a good time for you than. Not a good time for me now."

I hear her scuff again and her arms motioning about. "Yeah, looks like you are real busy here with Jim, Jack, and Jose." She quips, all sass. I find myself quickly realizing that I hadn't heard her talk to me like this in a long time. This boldly. I missed it.

"You know, from what I remember you broke up with me, you packed your things, and you moved out of this apartment. So why are you back?" I know my words are harsh, and probably ruder then what she deserves right now, especially since we had already talked about this, were supposed to have moved past it.

Her silence lets me know that my words have stung her and I find myself feeling bad about that, but a small part of me is happy that she is feeling some pain, the pain I've been feeling for a while now.

"Matt…" She whispers and I can hear the lump in her throat and the tears in her eyes without turning around to see them.

I don't say anything, not even sure what to say to her right now. I can tell her resolve is weakening, that the sassiness that she walked in here with is leaving her and I'm not sure if I'm equipped to handle a heart broken Gabriella Dawson right now. Her next words let me know she's tired, tired of putting up a fight. Tired of it all…

"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry." I listen as she take a deep breath, but I know nothing is going to make the rest of this conversation easier and she just has to rip the band aid off and do it. "I'm sorry we aren't together, I'm sorry I left, and I'm sorry that I lied to you. That I kept this from you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry… And you have every right to be mad, and angry at me… You have every right to feel that way Matt… But I, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep playing this game with you… I'm stressed and I'm a mess… and I just need to know if you are in this with me or not… Things can't stay this way… The fighting and the ignoring and everything. We need to be adults about this, about us… We, Matt, we're gonna be parents in a few months… I..." Her voice trails off and I know she has stop to wipe the tears that have trailed down her cheeks and made her voice turn raspier with every word she has said. I say nothing, and I can't bring myself to turn around and face her, to turn around and see the sad look on her face that I knew would be there.

"We're gonna be parents Matt… and you can hate me for keeping this from you, but that doesn't change that. And I, I'm happy about this. Whether you are or not, I, I am, and I just really wish you could be happy with me about this…" Her voice trails off again and I can feel the tears stinging my eyes but I'm still rooted to my spot, unable to move or say anything, I hear her sniffle behind me and all I really want to do is take her into my arms and take the pain away… but I don't and silence fills the room until Gabby starts talking again, her voice low and holding a strength I knew she wasn't feeling. The fact that I knew all this without even looking at her spoke volumes.

"Matt I don't want to do this anymore, I can't do this anymore… I don't want to do this alone… But I'm not going to force you to be a part of my life… or to be a part of this baby's life. I, I… I just need to know, whether you want to do this with me, or not… I need to know whether you can forgive me…" I can hear the shake in her voice and if her words weren't enough to turn me around that sure was.

I open my mouth to speak but no words come out as I take in her appearance for the first time since she has showed up. Her hair is down in its natural wild curls that I loved, and knew that Gabby rarely wore out of the house. Her face was clear of any makeup, but full of tears and red marks from where I was sure she had wiped the salty wetness away. But the thing that was really freezing me to my place was the swell of her usually flat stomach through her tight sweater.

I can't take my eyes off her. This all hitting me and becoming so real. How had I not seen it before? How had I missed the signs?

I watch the tears rush down Gabby's face as she starts to speak again with a shaky voice, my silence finally too much for her, giving her an answer that I didn't mean. "I'm gonna go." She's half way out the door when I finally find my voice, but the only thing I can manage to utter is her name.

"Gabby…"

She turns back to me and shakes her head, her voice still full of tears. "I have an appointment after shift tomorrow… If you want to be a part of this babies life than come… And if you don't show… I, I guess I'll have my answer…"

The lock clicking into place is enough to bring the tears that have welled in my eyes down my face and the easiest realization to fill my mind.

I forgave her.

I wanted to be a part of my baby's life… of course I did.

I just hoped I wasn't too late.

**Whoa, hope you enjoyed this one! Next update will be up this week, your sweet reviews will convince me of when to add it… *hint hint* ;) **

**Thank you too all the ones that reviewed the last chapter, you are my sunshine's! **

**Review, Review, Review!**


	7. They'll Never Know

**A/N: You guys are so freaking amazing, you have no idea… I'm so beyond blown away by the response of the last chapter. It was more than I have ever gotten on any chapter of this story, or any chapter or one-shot I have ever written. I'm so blown away and just humbled by your response to this story still. Thank you so very much! As promised, here is another update this week because it is finished and you are all too amazing to hold out on. **

**Who remembers chapter two's quote, about it being a hell of a ride? Well these next couple chapters are going to be a hell of ride, so I hope you stick with me. I've got a lot planned for these two. Hope you all enjoy this update! It is a little shorter, but another one will be up in a few days to make up for it. **

**I almost always find inspiration in a song or quote while writing a chapter. This chapter the song "They'll Never Know" by the ever inspiring and insanely talented Ross Copperman was my inspiration and I couldn't help but add some quotes from it. They are in italics, and I highly recommend this song to all. It's a tad heartbreaking, but oh so beautiful.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago Fire or any of its characters and I don't own "They'll Never Know" by Ross Copperman. Sad day.

_**-"**__Hush, baby don't cry. Just get through this night… Overcome,  
Cause all that you are, is broken inside. But they'll never know, they'll never know.  
Don't think that they'll change, they push you away, far from home.  
Cause all that they are, is broken inside. But they'll never know, they'll never know…"-_

_**Casey**_

Waking up the day of shift I knew that it was going to be a long day the moment my eyes adjusted to the light. Gabby had basically given me an ultimatum two nights ago, and we hadn't spoken since she walked out of the apartment, not that either of us had made an effort too.

I'd spent the last day and a half thinking about everything. Sobering up from my previous drinking binges, that I now was not so proud of, and just spending some time with my thoughts working through everything that had happened. I had wanted to go see Gabby, to talk, but I knew it wasn't the right time. I knew I needed that time alone to deal with everything that had happened. To make a choice on what I wanted.

Gabby had given me an ultimatum.

Two choices… Show up at her appointment after shift and be a part of our baby's life, possibly a part of her life. Or not show up, a decision that would tell her whether I was in this or not, whether I was going to be there through this or not.

It wasn't even a choice for me.

Of course I would be there. I wasn't sure what it would all mean for Gabby and I, but there was no way I could not be a part of my child's life. I'd wanted to be a father for a long time now. This wasn't exactly how I pictured it all happening, but I found myself not caring much about that, all that really mattered was I was going to be a father. Details didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. A part of me was still upset with Gabby, but another part of me understood and just wanted to forget it all and move past it. Whether that was as friend's co-parenting or, hopefully, something more someday.

I loved Gabby, and I had for a long time now. That wasn't going to change anytime soon, if ever. I just wasn't sure if it was possible for us to move past everything, too have a healthy relationship again. I wanted Gabby, and I wanted to be a part of our child's life no matter what, but what I really wanted was for us to be a family, like we'd always planned. I knew that was a long stretch right now. We had just gotten a friendship back before it blew up and we were back to square one. The past few days, since Gabby told me she was pregnant, I had been thinking about that night in her apartment. Everything that I had said too her. I had to wonder how differently that night would have ended if she hadn't told me she was pregnant.

I knew I wouldn't have been able to hold myself back, telling her how I really felt. I had told her I missed her, that it was nice spending time together, I knew if she hadn't interrupted me I probably would have told her I still loved her. That I'd always love her, that that would never change.

I roll over in bed, a bed that was far too big for just myself, and looked at the empty side where Gabby use to lay. Feeling a longing for her deep in my chest that I'd felt almost every day since she left. I missed her more than I cared to admit to most, even to myself most days. It was always the quiet moments in our apartment when missing her hit me the hardest. Missing her never got easier. The pain had dulled to where I lived with it, but it was always there, right under the surface.

It was physically exhausting to love someone as much as I loved her. Every little thing that she did affected me, and every big thing she did affected me in ways I couldn't explain. I was either so head over heels in love with her, so fascinated by her that I had no idea what to do with myself, or I was so furious with her that it was unexplainable. Her emotions affected my emotions. Her actions affected my actions. We were entwined. We always would be. For better or for worst. But it was exhausting. It was impossible to stay mad at her. Even when I wanted to hate her, I loved her. And missing her was like a physical ache in my chest, an ache that I'd experienced far too much over the last few months.

Loving her was something I had never experienced before. It was unbearable some days, all the emotions she made me feel. But it was also the best thing I had ever experienced in my life. We had our bad days, or at this rate, months. But our good days when we were together always outweighed the bad. Gabby was my other half. She knew things about me that I didn't even know about myself. Gabby was my life, my heartbeat. She was everything to me and I had no idea how we had lost sight of that.

It's a tricky thing, life, how you can convince yourself to feel something. The way your brain can trick your heart into thinking things that aren't even close to true. For the last few months I'd convinced myself that Gabby and I were over. That we both needed to move on. That moving on was what Gabby wanted, what I wanted… I was wrong. So wrong. I would never get over Gabby. It just wasn't possible. I didn't want to move on, and a part of me knew that Gabby felt the same.

Looking over at Gabby's side of the bed once again my eyes caught site of the pictures she had on her night stand, pictures I couldn't bring myself to take down. There was a picture of her and Shay from a night at Molly's holding each other in a tight hug and smiling brightly at the camera. The other picture was of the two of us. Someone had snapped it while we were leaving Molly's one night, I couldn't remember for sure, but I believed it had been Shay. Gabby was tucked into my side, her heels dangling in her hand making her quite a few inches shorter than me. We both looked pretty happily drunk, and as I vaguely remember, we were. Gabby was looking up at me, with a bright smile on her face and I was looking down at her with a matching smile. Both of our eyes shined with such love and happiness.

I tried to remember the last time I had felt that same happiness. Tried remembering the last time I saw that much life shine in Gabby's eyes… I couldn't.

I sigh as my alarm clock sounds off. Bringing me out of my thoughts and letting me know that I needed to get up too head to work. I couldn't help myself from feeling like this was going to be a long shift.

Walking into the fire house I knew I was running a little late, only confirming my suspicions that this shift wasn't going to be the greatest. Starting out late was never a good indicator.

When I step into the bathroom from the locker room furiously tucking my shirt into my pants, already frustrated at being late, I sigh when I hear someone being sick in the stall. Gabby steps out a moment later, her usual caramel skin that I loved, almost a ghostly white.

I didn't really expect us to have a confrontation this early in shift, I expected a little ignoring each other to start out to be honest. But any anger I still held at her vanished in that moment, worry taking over at the site of her. She barely acknowledges me and I know it has more to do with the way she is feeling and not her feelings toward me right now, whatever those may be.

She leans against the sink for a moment before splashing some water in her face and rinsing out her mouth and I can't take my eyes off her. My worry for her evident. "You okay?" I question softly.

She doesn't meet my eyes before nodding her head and mumbling an 'I'm fine,' in my direction before slowly making her way out of the bathroom and I sigh in frustration once again.

This was going to be a hell of a shift.

_**Dawson**_

I wasn't fine. In fact I felt the farthest from fine that I had during this entire pregnancy. I barely slept the past few nights. Too much on my mind keeping me awake at all hours. I had barely been able to keep anything down. Water, toast, tea. All the things the doctor had suggested when I called them a couple days ago to ask if there was anything to ease the symptoms of morning sickness were not working, and it wasn't for a lack of trying.

I felt exhausted. Beyond exhausted, I felt like the walking dead. Not speaking to Matt the past few days didn't help the situation either. After my meltdown in his apartment I hadn't spoken to him. Not that I expected him to reach out. I knew I had hurt him and some apology and ultimatum wasn't going to change that. If Matt showed up at my appointment all that would say is that he wanted to be a part of our child's life, not mine. I had to except that much. I had to except the fact that Matt and I could possibly be over for good, and I felt like I had no one else to blame but myself for that realization. I'd put us on hold, I moved out, I didn't tell him about this pregnancy. Matt no doubt had his own faults, but it the grand scheme of things I still blamed myself.

Given the chance I'd take it all back, but I knew that wasn't possible. I needed to move on and get past it all. I'd said what I needed to say to Matt and he could either except it or leave it. I needed to be strong for our baby, and that was my main focus now.

The problem was I didn't feel strong. Emotionally I was working on it, physically I was counting down the hours till my appointment after shift. Hoping the doctors could give me something to ease the morning sickness and fatigue I was feeling lately… and I guess a pretty big part of me was counting down the hours also so I could know what Matt had decided.

I knew it would be much easier to just talk to him now than to wait it out, but all I could focus on right now was finding my cot and taking a much needed nap, which I did almost immediately after making the guys breakfast. Trying some toast and a little eggs for myself only to have morning sickness take over once again I deemed the effort futile and snuggled into the warm covers, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before any calls came in. I'd been trying small amounts of food here and there the past few days, but it almost always ended with sickness taking over. I'd called the doctor and they'd suggested a few home remedies, none had worked so far. The lease I could do was try and get some sleep if food wasn't going to settle me.

I wake up a couple hours later feeling completely disoriented, getting the most sleep I'd gotten in the past couple of days. Snuggling into the sheets some more I try to get comfortable once again when I feel a pain in my side and tense for a moment. Not use to this, I knew abdominal pain could mean two completely different things during pregnancy. It either meant something was wrong, or it was completely normal. If something was wrong it could mean the worst, something I wouldn't let my mind drift too. And if it was nothing it was mostly likely just stretching of muscles, something most pregnant women experienced. My few years of premed classes and basic EMT training teaching me such, the books from Cindy Hermann also giving me that knowledge. When the pain passes quickly and doesn't reoccur I decide it is nothing to fret about, but decide to get up for a while anyways to make sure it didn't come back.

I'm still feeling fairly exhausted even after nearly 4 hours of sleep and can feel a raging headache coming on and decide that I need to try eating once again. Hoping that I am able to keep something down to make myself feel better.

I slowly make way into the bathroom to relive my bladder, something that happened more frequently at this stage in my pregnancy, but once I settle onto the cold seat any relief I had felt at getting some sleep melted away at the sight of the little red spots before me.

Spotting. I racked my brain for what that meant at my stage of pregnancy. I knew just like side pain it can mean nothing, or everything. It wasn't much, which really meant that it probably meant nothing, but I wasn't sure how to feel about the two symptoms combined. I exit the stall and pull my phone out of my pocket, knowing my best option was to call the doctor, even if it was nothing. I couldn't help but let a feeling of dread settle inside me.

It rings a few times before going to the machine, where it plays a messaging about them being out to lunch, I briefly check the time before realizing that it was well into the lunch hour and leave a quick messaging asking for Dr. Jenson to call me back and make my way into to common room. First to find something to eat, then I decided I would talk to Casey… I wasn't sure what was going on with me, but I knew if something was wrong Casey needed to know. Not only as my Lieutenant, but also as the father.

I barely make it to the common room when I'm redirected by the bells going off, calling us to a fire.

The guys all rush to the rigs and Casey turns to me before I can get into the truck, a silent question in his eyes, was I up to working, and I shake my head at him. He only nods at me in understanding, there was no judgement in his eyes, only concern. Once we reach the call he gives me orders to hang back and wait for his orders as he takes Hermann and Otis into the flames with him and I wait outside, grateful when Casey calls through the radio that it was a one room fire.

As a headache pounds in my head and the feeling of exhaustion hits me once again I've never felt more grateful to have Casey as the Lieutenant right now. He was always looking out for me, no matter what, and I was lucky to have him.

_**Casey**_

Heading back into the house after the short call I can't keep my eyes from following Dawson as she makes her way into the common room, she isn't looking any better than when I saw her this morning and I can feel my worry for her growing as the hours pass by. I knew she wasn't feeling well, and I was beginning to wonder if she should even be here right now. I contemplate asking her if she wants to go home, but decide against it, knowing that being here is better than her being home alone.

Everyone settles into the common room, and Mouch flips on a basketball game and soon the cheers of the fans from the TV is all the fills the common room as everyone's eyes stay glued on the television, my eyes stay glued to Gabby.

I sit at the table watching her move around the kitchen to find something to eat. I notice quickly that she is moving slower than usual and the subtle touches to her stomach at any given moment. When the guys holler out at the game, startling her, she jumps and her hand goes to rest protectively on her stomach for a moment before she continues on with finding something to eat. I wonder if she'd been doing those subtle little things a lot recently. I could tell she was already protective of the baby growing inside her and I feel my heart swell at that thought. She was going to be an amazing mother.

She pauses for a moment and her eyes slip closed as she braces herself against the counter, her face screwing up in a look I didn't recognize but sends a fear through me. I'm out of my seat and at her side in an instant, happy that we have not drawn any attention to ourselves yet, I place a comforting hand on her back. "Are you okay?" I ask softly.

She shakes her head slowly but before she can say anything her cellphone rings and brings everyone's attention to us. She shares a look with me and briefly looks at the caller ID before picking it up and walking out into the hallway out of ear shot.

I slowly take my seat at the head of the table once again and keep a close eye on her as she moves slowly around the hall taking into her cell. I look over at the guys for a moment as they holler out at the game that is playing on the TV once again and when I look back over at Gabby she has a hand braced up against the wall and her eyes are closed. Her face twists up in pain and I am rising from my seat just as her phones crashes to the floor, Gabby's body limping to the floor a moment afterwards. Her name leaves my lips franticly and I am at her side in an instant, the guys all close behind.

"Get Brett and Mills!" I call immediately, pulling Gabby so her head is resting in my lap and not on the hard floor, taking her hand in mine right away.

Brett is beside me in an instant and I can see the fear in her eyes as she calls out Gabby's name, checking for a pulse. "It's racing." She whispers. Mills is at Brett's side now, the medic bag in his hand, passing Brett things that my mind can't even recognize right now, too focused on Gabby's pale face in front of me and the tears in my eyes that I am desperately trying to keep at bay.

I knew something was wrong from the moment I saw her this morning, I never would expected it to be this bad, something that would cause this.

It is Mill's startled voice that brings me out of my daze. "Brett… what…"

"Oh God…" I hear her whisper back and it's then that I see the small blood stain on Gabby's trousers. The next words out of Brett's mouth are frantic. "We need to get her in the ambo, now! Let's go!"

I have Gabby cradled in my arms in an instant not bothering with a back board, I never wanted to let her go, and I wasn't going to let one of the guys pull her away from me right now. The tears that I had tried hiding away slowly make their way down my cheeks. Oh God.

I hear Mill's voice behind me asking what's going on as he follows behind, completely at a loss as too what is causing Gabby's distress.

"She's pregnant." Brett's voice echo's across the apparatus floor, stunning Mills and all the guys that have followed us out. Their eyes all snap to me questioningly, but I offer up no reply, my focus solely on the unconscious girl in my arms.

Brett hollers at Mills to drive as the two of us jump into the back and I lay Gabby's limp body down on the gurney, never letting my hand leave hers.

We take off and the only thing I can think of to do is pray as I look down at her, the tears not letting up. Pray that Gabby is okay. Pray that our baby will be okay.

Pray that Gabby and I can get through this, no matter the outcome.

_-"Pink flowers and bows, that's all you should know, and summer days.  
Cause all that you are is beautiful child. But they'll never know, they'll never know.  
So don't you cry tonight, rest your precious eyes,  
Cause all that you are is beautiful child.  
It's nothing they could change, it's nothing you could hide,  
It's nothing you should hide…"-_

**Don't kill me. What's a story without a few bumps in the road after all?**

**I actually did quite a bit of research on pregnancy and symptoms and what not so this is fairly accurate, but I'm no doctor, so it could also have its faults. And if you are a doctor and know your stuff feel free to correct me ;) **

**Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought, I promise the next chapter will be up soon. I can always be convinced to have it sooner than my original plan. I'm always up for some bargaining. *hint hint***

**Love you all. Less than a week to CF?! xXx**


	8. Our Baby

**A/N: Happy Easter to you all! If you celebrate that, and if not, happy update day to you!**

**You are all so amazing! Blowing me away every single time I update, and I love you all for the support of this story! Thank you so much!**

**Tuesday is Chicago Fire day everyone! Woah hooo!**

**Enjoy! : )**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, still. Sadly. _

_**Casey**_

I hated hospitals. I mean I _really_ hated them. The smell of bleach was always in the air and it was either far too eerily quiet or it was far too frantic. People running around everywhere hollering about this or that, or it seemed the place was deathly quiet, unsettlingly so. Neither were things I liked.

There had yet to be a positive hospital experience I had endured. My father died in the emergency room of a hospital, barely making it through the doors before he was pronounced dead by gunshot wound, my mother arrested in that same waiting room before my very eyes. Andy Darden was official pronounced dead in this very waiting room. Hallie. My head injury, waking up and having no idea where I was at first. The bombing at Chicago Med, fearing I was going to lose Gabby that day. Confirmation of losing Shay here... And now this.

Brett, Mills, and I had been waiting for nearly an hour on any news about Gabby and the baby. I paced the waiting room up and down waiting for any news on how they were. Hoping for the best, but trying to prepare myself for the worst. It was bad. It had looked bad. Gabby had been pale, so pale.

I could feel the deep fear inside me that had a tight grip on my heart. My fear of losing the baby that I had barely gotten a chance to get use too. To really let the feeling of being a father settle in. And within less than a week of finding out it could all be ripped away, it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to me, it wasn't fair to our baby, and it wasn't fair to Gabby. I'd known about the baby less than a week and even in that short time I could tell how much Gabby loved this baby. Just by the way she spoke of it and the subtle actions she took.

I knew by the look on Brett's face that this could be really bad, and the look on Mill's face held one of utter confusion and shock, but even masked underneath that I could see it in his face as well, how bad this could end up being. We didn't know anything, but I could tell by the looks on their faces that surely matched mine that we were all fearing the worst right now.

I let out a frustrated growl and plop down in a seat next to Brett resting my head in my hands. "What the hell is taking so long?"

Brett rests a comforting hand on my back, but offers no words. She and Gabby had become best friends, I knew this was hard on her as well, maybe in a different way, but still hard. I turn to face her now, a question on my mind that hadn't let up. "Has she been feeling like this a lot or…" Has it just been since I found out and stressed her out. Brett picks up on the unasked question and shrugs.

"I've only known for about a week, maybe two, Casey… I don't, I don't know…" She whispers, trying to calm me, but also not being able to offer much, all of this fairly new to her as well. I nod, not wanting to push her for anything more, but she looks at me thoughtfully and rests a hand on mine. "She wanted to tell you sooner Casey… She was just scared and trying to work through a lot. She didn't want to keep it from you, I can promise you that."

"I know, I know… and I know I should've handled everything better, I just…"

"She's not worried about all that now Casey. She feels worst about her own decisions and what she did than how you reacted. She's blaming herself, not you… What Dawson needs right now, no matter the outcome of all this, is you to be there for her and help her through this… that's all she's ever needed."

I share a grateful look with Sylvie, her words calming me just a little.

The doors to the ER open and soon the rest of the men from 51 are filling into the waiting room. Their eyes searching Brett and I's for any information, but I can only shake my head at them. Feeling as lost on what was happening as they were.

A few of them walk by, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder before joining the rest and taking a seat. I watch Chief enter the waiting room and walk up to me, I'm expecting a lecture for not telling him about Gabby, but I don't receive one. Instead he places a large hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze before taking a seat across from me, a nod of his head letting me know it was all okay. Hermann takes a seat next to me and I can see the fear in his eyes.

He shakes his head at me, in awe of what has all transpired today. I knew how much he cared for Gabby, and I knew that he had been the first one to know about this baby. Gabby had confided in him because she knew she could trust him, because he was a great friend. He had looked out for her when I wasn't able to and I would forever be grateful for him for that. He offers no words and instead rests a hand on my shoulder giving it a squeeze before letting his head rest in his hands, his body language giving off the worry he was clearly feeling for the girl we all loved. Before anyone can say anything a doctor walks into the room and I'm on my feet in an instant coming to stand in front of him.

"How is she?"

He looks around at the multiple people in the room dressed in our work gear that have all stood from their seats as well before focusing his eyes back on me. "Ms. Dawson was severely dehydrated when she came in, and suffering from exhaustion. We've given her an IV and a light sedative to calm her down and allow her to rest. She did lose a little more blood than what we would like, especially in her condition and her state of dehydration, this caused her blood pressure to drop very low, but we were able to get it under control. With some rest and a good meal she should be just fine. We are going to keep her for a few hours to monitor her." He finished, a small reassuring smile on his face.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, but there was still one more thing I needed to know.

"And the baby…"

The doctors look turned solemn and I was sure my blood pressure was the one that bottomed out. "I'm sorry, we don't know much right now… We are waiting on an ultrasound tech to come available and then we will know more…" I take another deep breath and try to control the feelings coursing through me as the doctor starts speaking again. "I can take you to see her."

I nod my head and follow the doctor down the hall to Gabby's room. Feeling relief and worry in equal amounts. Relief that Gabby was alright. Worry for our child and what was going to happen. The doctor stops and motions to the room before giving me a reassuring smile and heading down the hall. I slowly make my way into the room and feel my breath catch.

Seeing Gabby laying in the small bed, her brown hair framing her face and the color slowly starting to come back to her features. The blankets lay low on her hips and I could see the slight bump of her stomach through the thin material of the hospital gown and it made tears come to my eyes thinking about the little life we had created. Praying once again that our baby was okay.

I take a seat in the chair next to her bed and take her hand in mine before bringing it to my lips. "Oh Gabby…" This wasn't how it was supposed to be. I always pictured when Gabby told me she was pregnant we would be together. Living in our apartment, maybe married, and happy. I never pictured it would be like this, or that this would be the outcome.

I knew, though the doctors hadn't said, that a lot of this was stress related. I couldn't help but blame myself for this. If anything were to happen to the baby… I couldn't even imagine… I didn't want to imagine. All I could do was hold Gabby's hand and pray that our baby would be okay.

It's a short two hours later that Gabby starts to stir, her hand squeezes mine lightly and a groan leaves her lips as her other hand comes up to rest against her head. She slowly peaks her eyes open adjusting to the light in the room. "Hey you…" I say softly, watching as her head lulls to the side and her eyes meet mine. A small smile comes to her face.

"Hi." She croaks.

I squeeze her hand once again, my other coming up to brush the hair out of her face before letting it rest on her cheek, so happy to see those brown eyes staring back at me. "How are you feeling?"

"My head." She croaks. "It hurts, but otherwise just tired… What, what happened?" She asks, the confusion filling her orbs.

"You don't remember?" Her faces scrunches up in confusion, trying to recall what had happened over the past few hours. "You collapsed Gabby, at the firehouse…"

Realization hits her quickly, all of it suddenly coming back to her and I watch as worry fills her features. "The baby…" She whispers, her eyes filling with tears and her hand flying to her stomach.

I shake my head. "We don't know anything yet… They haven't been able to do an ultrasound…"

A whimper escapes her lips and the tears cascade down her cheeks, fear of the worst taking over. "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. Okay?" I try to reassure her, and myself.

"I'm sorry…" she whispers, and it's my turn to be filled with confusion.

"For what?" I question her.

"This." She cries. "I, I wasn't feeling well all day. I should've known that something was wrong. I should've told you sooner about the baby, Matt… All of it." The tears flow down her cheeks and I am quick to wipe them away.

"Gabby… honey, this isn't your fault, Okay? You can't, you can't blame this on yourself. I won't let you." Her eyes meet mine now, pushing me to continue. "We are gonna be okay… this babies gonna be okay. You just gotta believe, alright?"

She nods her head slowly and I lift myself up from the chair to place a kiss on her forehead. We still had so much to work on, to work out. But none of it mattered now, not at all. The only thing that mattered was our baby, and that it was going to be okay.

We're only sat there for a few moments longer before the door opens and a woman enters, pushing an ultrasound machine behind her. "Ah. Gabriella, you're awake." I see Gabby give her a timid smile, and I know that this must be her doctor. The woman pushes the ultrasound machine around the bed before addressing me. "Hi, I'm Dr. Jenson Gabriella's OBGYN, and you must be?" She greets warmly. Her soothing tone putting me at ease as I reach out for her outstretched hand.

"Matt Casey, it's nice to meet you."

We share a smile before she looks at me knowingly, "You must be the father." She confirms and I nod, she smiles at me once again before looking down at Gabby with a soothing smile.

"So, Gabriella, why don't you tell me what's been going on? We kind of got cut off on the phone..." She jokes lightly.

I squeeze Gabby's hand, urging her on. "I uh, I hadn't been sleeping well the past couple of nights, and hadn't been able to keep much of anything down."

"The tea didn't seem to help?" Dr. Jenson asks.

Gabby shakes her head and I realize that she must've called her doctor trying to ease the symptoms. I knew Gabby wouldn't have blatantly ignored all these symptoms, but it was still nice to hear. "No it didn't. When I was on shift today I slept for a few hours and woke up with a pain in my side, and then I realized I had spotted a little… that's when I called you." She whispers and I see the tears in her eyes all of this becoming too much for her. Dr. Jenson listens intently and gives Gabby's arm a light squeeze and a reassuring smile. "We got a call that I sat out on and when we got back is when I collapsed… I uh…" Gabby won't meet my eyes and she will no longer meet Dr. Jenson's either. "I've been under a lot of stress lately." She finishes.

I can't help but look away, knowing a lot of Gabby's stress was due to me, due to our problems, due to my actions. I squeeze Gabby's hand and she slowly meets my eyes and I hope in that one look I can convey just how sorry I was for everything that had happened between us lately.

Dr. Jenson takes a seat on the stool and starts up the ultrasound machine as she starts talking to us once again. "Alright, well you did everything right Gabriella as far as I can tell… You and I both know that abdominal pain and spotting can mean nothing. In my opinion that what this was, it was a short pain, that didn't reoccur, and small spotting at that time. You did have some slightly heavier bleeding after your fall that I am still concerned about." Dr. Jenson pauses as she helps Gabby sit up in the bed and helped her lift her gown and reposition the blanket. I momentarily zone out at the sight of Gabby's bare stomach. Gabby had never been a stick figure, something I adored about her, but she had never had a tummy either. To see the small swell of her stomach, to know that it housed a life that we had created, was the most amazing thing and I felt my grip tighten on her hand at the site. She looks over at me briefly, noticing my stare at her stomach that was so clearly a pregnancy stomach and a slight blush rises to her cheeks that I find adorable. I look back to the doctor as she grabs the gel and begins to talk again. "Although I am a little concerned about that, there have been woman who have had some heavier bleeding, and yours wasn't too bad, not enough for me to immediately think a miscarriage. You're collapse was definitely from the dehydration and exhaustion. I think right now we just have a lot of mix of things going on at once, which isn't good for you, but also isn't dire. You are experiencing about every pregnancy symptom I can think of, and you are experiencing them at full force." Dr. Jenson pours the gel onto Gabby's stomach and begins to move it around with the wand.

Gabby and I share a look, both of us worried about what this ultrasound will tell us. "…but as long as we can still get a heartbeat, there is nothing that says that you cannot still have a healthy little baby." She says reassuringly, moving the wand around and pushing a couple of buttons on the machine.

Our hands squeeze together tightly, both of us pulling in the others strength as the seconds click by while we wait to hear the heartbeat flow through the room. I can see the worry and fear in Gabby's eyes and I know that they must mirror my own. Our eyes meet for a moment and I try to be strong for her, but the longer we wait the more I feel my strength weakening.

And just when I think the both of us are about to give up hope, the most beautiful sound I had ever heard filled the room. Gabby and I's eyes both snap to Dr. Jenson who looks back at us with a beaming smile. She turn the screen towards us and points to the fuzzy image. "That's your baby… and it looks like it is growing at a normal rate, right about 15 weeks."

A soft chuckle falls from my lips as the steady rhythm of our baby's heartbeat floats through the room, and I don't bother to stop the tears that rolls down my cheeks. A sob leaves Gabby and her body slacks with relief as the tears rush down her cheeks. I pull her into my arms and kiss her forehead as we both let the relief wash over us. Dr. Jenson silently wipes the gel from Gabby's stomach and exits the room, giving us some privacy.

I move to sit on the side of the bed and my forehead rests against Gabby's as we wipe the tears from the others eyes. Gabby's hand moves to rest on her stomach and mine hesitantly follows. New tears leave my eyes at that action and Gabby looks at me lovingly as I stare down at her stomach.

"Matt…"

A watery chuckle leaves my lips. "That's our baby…"

Gabby nods, a smile filling her features as she confirms my words. "That's our baby…"

xXx

I wiggle the key in the lock and slowly push open the door before flipping on the hall light. Gabby hesitantly walks in ahead of me, looking around and taking it all in. I knew almost everything was the exact same since she had left, but I'm sure to her it all felt different.

Everything was different since she had last been here a few days ago. Everything was different since she had packed her bags and left. Everything was different. We were different. We weren't together, but I wasn't really sure what we were right now. She didn't live here, but I wanted her too, and deep down I knew she wanted that too. She was pregnant, but little did we know the day she had left this apartment she was pregnant as well, maybe only a few days pregnant, but still pregnant. We were going to be parents. Gabby was going to be a mom, and I was going to be a dad.

I set my work bag down on the couch and watch Gabby as she pauses in the living room, and looks around the space of the apartment. Our apartment, it would always be ours. We'd picked it out together, moved in together, decorated together, lived here together, made amazing memories here… _all together_. It would always be ours, always.

"You want something to eat?" I ask her quietly, breaking the silence that she had started since before we left the hospital, but she says nothing, only shaking her head 'no'. I let out a sigh, "You sure you got enough to eat at the hospital?" I question concerned. They had fed her plenty, wanting to bring her energy back up, but I still couldn't help but worry. Gabby had given me a scare and I was going to make sure it never happened again. Her only reply to my previous question is a small shake of her head that had I not been paying such close attention to her I probably would have missed.

I can only nod as I watch her silently as she stands nervously in the middle of our living room, her head down and her eyes trained on anything but me. I watch her eyes travel to the mantel. I knew what she was looking for, and she wouldn't find it.

The 8x10 picture of us that was usually sat in the middle of the mantel. It was the picture we had taken in front of Molly's door. Gabby had gotten it framed in black and white, the picture of us almost matching the one of her grandparents. I sigh now, wishing I hadn't taken it down. It had just become too hard to look at over the past few months, by the look on Gabby's face I realized that she didn't blame me for it not being there, but that it still hurt nonetheless. To be honest it still hurt me to look there and not see it, and I had been the one to take it down.

Looking at the clock I see that it is almost midnight and I walk up behind Gabby and let my hand rest on her shoulder. "Come on, let's get you to bed. It's been a long day and the Doctor said you needed to rest." She only nods mutely in reply and I lead her to what use to be our bedroom.

Her silence is unnerving, but I decide not to say anything about it. I know it's been an emotional and tiring day for her, and I really don't want to push her right now. I promised myself in the hospital that I wasn't going to let Gabby get swallowed up in the stress again, and that was a promise I was determined to keep. I flip the light on in the bedroom and Gabby flinches in front of me at the brightness that fills the room. I knew her head was still hurting and I quickly moved to dim them down. She gives me a small smile in thank you before focusing on the sheets of the bed. While I'd washed them since she had left, they were the same ones and I hoped at least that much was comforting to her.

I walk to my dresser and pull out one of my old CFD shirt for her and a pair of plaid pajama pants for her to change in to. I place them in her hands and give her a kiss on the forehead before grabbing my own change of clothes and heading into the adjoining bathroom to change.

I shut the door behind me and let out a long sigh as I see my reflection in the mirror. My tired eyes and red cheeks letting me know just how long of a day it was. We hadn't let the hospital till after 11 o'clock. The Doctors not wanting to release Gabby until her blood pressure was where they wanted and she had finished two separate IV's to rehydrate her. They'd made sure she had ate two separate meals and gotten some rest. Doing another ultrasound before we left to make sure that baby was still doing alright and the fetal heartrate was normal after the high stresses of the day. They'd been very thorough, which we were grateful for. But it had made it a very long day, spending almost 10 hours in the hospital.

Gabby had gotten some rest, but I could tell she was still very much exhausted, mentally, and physically.

Dr. Jenson had prescribed her a medicine to help with the morning sickness, it had worked for the rest of the day, and I was hopeful that it would continue to work. She had also taken Gabby off work for the rest of the week and made her agree to be without stress this week. I had been quick to answer that that would not be a problem. Gabby had an appointment in a week to discuss where all of this left her to work, I knew it was the farthest thing from her mind right now though. She'd been quick to say that she was only worried about the baby right now, and taking care of herself for her baby.

I knew Gabby was blaming herself for everything that had happened today, and for the past few weeks really and I knew that tonight was not the night to discuss it all, but tomorrow we would have a long talk about everything. About us, the baby, living arrangements, her guilt. Everything. I wouldn't let Gabby continue to blame herself and I wouldn't let her continue to be stressed. I vowed to myself that we were going to make this all work, no matter what it took. I was going to keep the two of them safe.

I slowly strip myself of my work uniform that I still had on and slowly began to put on a pair of boxers and pajama pants. After getting the ultrasound done and letting the feeling of relief wash over us I had gone to the waiting room to update the guys and Brett. When I told them that Gabby and the baby both were going to be just fine, but they were going to keep her for a few hours for observation I could see the relief fill the room as it had Gabby and I. I had told them all that it had been a lot on Gabby and they had all understood and I had promised to update them if anything changed as they headed back to the fire house. Kelly had pulled me into a hug before leaving and I had promised if we needed anything to let him know. Brett was at my side next, worried about Gabby and wondering how she would get home. I had promised her to take care of her, easing Brett's worries, and the blonde had given me a knowing smile before exiting. Chief was the last to approach me, letting me know he was glad that both Gabby and the baby were okay, also letting me know that he and I would be having a talk on my next shift in a few days, which I had expected.

After that was all settled I had headed back to Gabby's room to find her fast asleep, and after falling asleep myself for an hour or two we were both awaken by a nurse for Gabby to eat and so began the rest of the process we had gone through. It wasn't until Gabby was signing her release paper that it was decided that she would come home with me.

Brett was still on shift and I didn't want Gabby to be alone… well that was one of the reasons. The bigger reasoning was because after the day we had had all I really needed right now was to have Gabby close, to make sure she was taken care of and that our baby was safe. It was my own selfish reasoning, but after little convincing Gabby had agreed.

So here we were in our apartment and Gabby hadn't said a word to me since the decision had been made right before her release. I shake my head and try to ease my tired mind before heading back into the bedroom. Gabby is sitting at the edge of the bed and I notice that she is facing away from me, her eyes focused on the pictures still sat on her side of the bed that I had been focused on this morning. It was hard to believe that it had only been 16 hours since I had last laid here, so much had happened in those 16 hours.

"Hey…" I say softly, and she quickly turns to face me a little startled. "Sorry…" I mumble weakly.

We are quite for a moment and I take the time to really take Gabby in. She's changed out of the scrub top and bottoms that the hospital had given her to come home in and is now in my pants and shirt. I'd always loved her in my clothes, but there was something different looking at her now. When we were together she had always walked around in my shirts or sweatpants on a lazy day with a confidence about her. Like she was meant to be in them. Now as she stood in the middle of our bedroom swimming in my clothes I knew she felt out of place, the look was written all over her face.

Not wanting to push her I say my next words gently. "I uh, I can take the couch."

Her eyes snap up to meet mine and when she says nothing once again I slowly move towards our door, taking her silence as my answer, but her quite voice stops me.

"Stay…" She whispers. Her voice almost childlike and lost. I turn to her and nod slowly, grateful for her words, before turning out the lights and walking back towards my side of the bed. I pull the covers down and watch as Gabby hesitantly does the same to her side. I settle into my side of the bed, facing Gabby and watch as she slowly lays down as well, resting on her side to face me. She doesn't meet my eyes and the silence settles around in the darkness.

I can see all the emotions playing across Gabby face, and I know all the events of the past few days, the past few hours, are coming full circle. Ever since finding out the news that the baby was okay Gabby had mainly been silent, while she had slept a lot of the time, when she was awake she was still silent and I knew there was a lot on her mind, just like there was now. So many emotions are playing across her face and I had never really seen her look like this before. All of the events of the day are closing in. All of it really hitting her for the first time now.

"Oh God…" She cries softly, her hand flying to her mouth to cover up the sob that slips from her lips and the other coming to rest against her stomach.

And then she crumbles, and I'm quick to pull her into my arms. Cradling her head to my chest and my arms holding her tightly against me, never wanting to let her go as the sobs wrack through her and tears flow down her cheeks, the wet salty tears hitting my shoulder.

Her next words leaving her mouth in a soft mantra. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Shhh, it's okay, you're okay… we're all gonna be okay." I whisper in her ear, hoping my whisper of sweet nothings in her ear will sooth her.

It almost an hour later that Gabby's tears subside into little hiccups before her body slacks in my arms and her breath evening out, letting my know she has fallen asleep and I let my own body relax, but I know that this was only just the beginning of the stepping stones we needed to cross. I know tomorrow will be a long day of some heavy talks, but I decide to ignore it for now. I let myself fall into a deep sleep with a smile on my face for the first time in months, knowing that Gabby was carefully nestled into my arms. She was here with me, and she was back in our bed. I knew we weren't together right now, but I still let myself relish in the feel of her in my arms again, taking comfort in it and falling into a deep sleep knowing that Gabby was safe, our baby was safe.

I knew eventually everything would be okay.

We would get through all of it. We could get through anything and everything.

And we would do it together.

**Hoping to update again this week. Hope you all enjoyed, it's still a long journey for these two… well three. **

**You know the drill…**

**Review, Review, Review pretty please! **


	9. Feels Like Home

**A/N: I'm back! So I've spent the majority of the night in the hospital with a family member (they are fine now) and am just now getting to bed at almost 7am, but I had been planning on updating this and didn't get a chance with the hospital craziness and just couldn't go to bed without giving you all an update. **

**This one's a little fluffier than what I'm sure you are use too in this fic, but hey, gotta be fluffy sometimes. **

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites! You are all so insanely wonderful. It blows me away. **

**Hope you enjoy this one!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, except little baby Casey who is going to be adorable. _

_**Casey**_

Waking up the next morning I feel more relaxed and well rested than I had in months, and I knew that was all because of the beautiful girl curled up in my arms. Gabriella Dawson was the most beautiful woman I had ever known, and I had missed waking up too her more than I even realized. It quickly occurs to me that neither of us had moved much at all since falling asleep the night before, and if we'd moved at all it was closer together than before, which I had thought impossible, but clearly wasn't.

We both still lay on our sides facing each other. My arm was wrapped tightly around Gabby's waist, and the other around her back my hand resting on the back of her neck cradling her head to my chest. While her arm was wrapped tightly around my back and the other rested on my chest beside her head that was pressed into my shoulder. Her warm cheek and breathe hitting my bare skin. Our legs were tangled together under the covers and it all felt so amazing. Being able to hold Gabby in my arms like this again was amazing. It was everything I had ever imagined it being again and more.

Gabby shivers in my arms and I'm quick to pull the covers up around our necks and pull her a little closer, hoping to warm her up and rid her of the goosebumps that have spread across her bare arms.

She shifts in my arms a moment later and an adorable noise of consciousness leaves her lips before her eyes are slowly fluttering open. There is a content look on her face as she slowly creeps into consciousness and she is just so damn cute that I can't help but place a kiss the top of her head, so I don't, and when her arms wrap around me tighter afterwards I realize that she had no problem with the action.

I expect Gabby to move away from me when she fully becomes awake and realizes our position, but I'm pleasantly shocked when she snuggles closer to me under the covers and her sleepy voice croaks out, "Hey…"

"Hi…" I murmur. "How'd you sleep?" I question, though I had a pretty good idea if it was any indication on how I'd slept.

She meets my eyes for a moment and a small smile falls onto her lips. "Best night's sleep I've gotten in a long time." She admits and I can't help but match her smile.

"Mine too." When she snuggles into me once again and still does not move away I'm pleasantly shocked, but will never complain. This is what I'd wanted for a long time now. "How are you feeling?" I ask, my fingers coming up to play with the ends of her short wavy hair.

"Still kind of exhausted, but not bad… Much better than yesterday, that's for sure."

I only nod in reply, happy that she is feeling much better. We lay in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes and I begin to think that she has fallen back asleep. That is until she stretches just a little bit, but it's enough for her body to rub against mine in a way that she hasn't in a long time. Stirring up feelings inside of me that I hadn't felt in months. I try to ignore them, but after that it's all downhill. Her breath on my bare chest is driving me wild and the mindless pattern her fingers are drawling on my back is enough to drive me mad and if I didn't say something now I knew I never would. I wanted her, but I knew it wasn't what was best for her right now. If last night was any indication of how vulnerable she really was, I knew I would never take advantage of her like that.

With a heavy sigh I scooted us away from each other a little bit, needing the distance to keep my sanity. Our legs were still tangled together and one of my hands still rest on her side, but there was enough distance between us that our heads could rest comfortably on the pillows and we could easily look at each other and talk.

She gives me a little look of confusion and when her hair falls into her eyes I brush it away and let my hand linger on her cheek, my eyes meeting hers. "How are you really feeling? After everything yesterday…" I sigh. "I know it was a rough day, that's it been a rough couple of weeks… months really." I pry, needing her to open up to me about everything that was on her mind.

She looks away from me then, apparently the sheet on the pillow becoming increasingly interesting. "I'm sorry about last night… I guess everything just kind of hit me at once and I… I, you shouldn't have had to see me like that…" She tries to play it off.

I cut her off immediately, "Gabby you never have to apologize for that. You've been through so much lately… You're entitled to a breakdown or two…" I try to joke and am grateful when she finally meets my eyes and nods her head gratefully.

"I'm sorry… I just… I should've known Matt… I, I'm a paramedic, I should've known that it was more than it was. I should've seen the signs, I should've known it was…"

"Gabby you can't blame yourself. The Doctor said it herself, you did everything right. You couldn't have known what was going to happen. It's not like you were just ignoring the symptoms, you called the Doctor, you tried preventing it… It's not your fault, Gabs." I reassure her.

I watch her swallow the lump that was surely in her throat and wipe the tear out of her eye. "I just feel like I should've been able to do more… I was putting myself through so much stress and that's my own fault Matt… Maybe if I had told you, or if would have told you about the baby sooner. I, God I…"

Her voice trails off and a realization hits me. Thinking about Severide's words from a few nights ago. _Casey man, think back to where the two of you were a month ago. You'd slept with Beth. Gabby was just finding out… Then the two of you spent the past three weeks either yelling at each other or ignoring each other._

I close my eyes… "You were going to tell me… A month ago, when you found out about Beth and I… You were going to tell me that shift…" I confirm, already knowing the answer by the look on her face.

"Matt…" She murmurs, not knowing how to answer.

I shake my head, I was such an idiot. If I'd never slept with Beth things would be so different for us right now. I knew there was something different about Gabby during that shift. She had spent most of the shift attempting to talk to me, which was new for us at that point, but something always got in the way. I couldn't place it then, what was different, and now I knew. I was an idiot.

"Gabby… I'm so sorry…"

"It's not your fault Matt… I could've still told you. I shouldn't have let that get in the way of telling you. We weren't together… You had every right to do what you did." She says and I know she means it, but she still won't meet my eyes.

"Just like you had every right to do what you did…"

Now her eyes snap up to mine right away. "Matt I didn't…"

"You did. Okay? It sucks, that you didn't tell me, but it's understandable. I, I can't say I blame you honestly. When I think about it all… How hard all this must've been on you. I don't blame you, not anymore… not at all. So you don't get to blame yourself either, alright?"

She looks at me skeptically, but nods her head anyways and I know that she might now be on board completely with the no placing blame policy, but I figured this was a good first step at the very least.

Silence engulfs us once again as we lay in the dim lighting of the room under the warm sheets. "So, I was thinking…" I approach softly. "…that maybe you could uh… move back here?"

Her eyes widen and she looks at me like I am crazy. "Matt I… I don't…"

"Look I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out, alright? I know we aren't together, and I know we have so much to work on and to talk about if we ever wanted to get back to that, but Gabby… God, we're having a baby… And that makes me happier than you can ever imagine. I know this isn't how either of us ever pictured it, and I am sorry for that, but…" I take deep breath and Gabby and I's eyes meet. "You're almost halfway through your pregnancy Gabby and, I, I don't want to miss any more of it… And I'm not blaming you for that, I'm not. I just, I want to be there for it all. I want to be the one that gets up with you if your morning sickness comes back, I want to be the one that gets up in the middle night with you, I want to be by your side the first time the baby kicks, I want to be the one to run out when you have late night cravings. It shouldn't be Brett, or whoever else, it should be me… _I want it to be me_."

Gabby looks at me lovingly and I hope that my words are helping soften her resolve. "Gabby I want to be there through it all. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for our baby… Whatever come's our way I want to face it together. I don't want our baby to have two different homes. I want us all together. I know it's not always going to be easy, and I know the two of us need to work on our friendship before we can focus on anything more, but I, Gabby I want you here…" I can see tears dancing in Gabby's eyes and it's my next words that make them spill over. "I want you to come home, Gabs…"

I wipe the tears off her cheeks with the pads of my thumbs and Gabby nods her head hurriedly at me. "Yeah?" I question her happily.

"I want to come home…" She murmurs softly, her voice music to my ears.

"Okay… Okay." I repeat happily, genuinely surprised that she has said yes. I had expected to have to put up a little more of a fight.

There is another stage of silence in between us before Gabby speaks again. "Matt… Where does all of this leave us?"

I sigh, I wasn't really sure, but I knew she was counting on an answer from me, and I was surely going to give her one. "Gabby I love you, and I'm always going to love you. I just, I don't want us rushing into this. It's not just you and me anymore…"

Gabby nods quickly. "I don't want that either… I love you too, you know? That's not gonna change. But you're right… I think… I think we just need sometime too settle into everything. So much has changed, and so much is just going to continue to change… We're going to be parents…"

I nod and try to hide the way my heart rate picks up at hearing Gabby confess her love for me. "You've been under so much stress, and I know a lot of that stress came from everything going on between us… I don't want that for you right now. I don't want to stress you out, and I feel like that's what our relationship has been lately… Even the last few months when we were together, it was just one stressful situation after the other, and that wore on the both of us. You don't need that right now, especially now…"

Gabby's silent for a moment and I can tell she has a thought swimming around in her mind. "Were we always like that…? I mean were we always just a big mess and didn't realize it till it was too late?"

"I don't think so…" I'm quick to answer. "We had good days Gabby, great days. And even now, after everything that has happened, I still believe all our good days outweigh the bad. We were great together Gabs, we just let life get in the way."

She nods now, agreeing with my words. The silence is killing me and soon I scout myself closer to her, propping myself up on one elbow and taking her hands in mine as I lean over her. "How about this? Neither of us knows what the future holds, all I know is that I see you in it… maybe not today or tomorrow, or next month, or next year even. All I know is whatever comes our way, we are going to face it together… And I mean it this time, okay? We've got a lot going on right now, and I know that one day you and I will get back to where we were, better than before even, and right now getting our friendship back to where it once was, trusting each other again, is most important right now."

"I want that too Matt… more than anything. And someday we'll get back there, I know we will, but this is enough right now. Let just focus on this baby and our friendship… and one day everything else will fall into place?"

"Yeah, of course it will." I confirm. I know it's not going to be easy, and I know that we are going to have to work at it, but with Gabby at my side I felt like I could do anything. I knew this was the best choice for us right now. I knew we needed this. We needed to take a step back and let ourselves heal from all the twists and turns we'd put each other through the past few months. We needed to focus on this baby and Gabby's health. That was what was most important right now. I knew that someday Gabby and I would be together. I knew it in my heart, and I knew that Gabby felt the same and that was enough right now.

Gabby looks at me hesitantly and her face screws up adorably. "So… just because we are just friends doesn't mean that we can't stay here and get a few more hours of sleep right?"

I chuckle and we share a bright smile. I pull her into my arms and she scouts closer to me. "Come here you knuckle head." I roll onto my back and Gabby tucks herself into my side and I place a kiss on the top of her head as she snuggles into me.

I knew there was a thin line between friendship and something more for us, a very thin line. Gabby and I would always have a little more intimacy in our friendship than we had before and I knew that was because not only had we been together before, but because we both still held the same feelings. We had come to an agreement that now was just not our time. I could deal with that. Gabby didn't need the stress, and I was happy just having her close again. Knowing that she was moving back into our place was an amazing thought.

I manage to get only an hour more of sleep and when I wake up Gabby is still nestled in my arms and I can hear Severide in the kitchen moving around. I carefully roll Gabby onto her side and she snuggles right into the pillow immediately. I pull the covers up to her neck and the small smile on her face as she sleeps peaceful brings a sense of calm to me. I wondered how long it had been since Gabby had gotten this much rest. I place a kiss to her forehead and relish in the feel of having her here again.

I slowly exit the bedroom, pulling the door closed gently as not to wake her and make my way into the kitchen where Severide gives me a mischievous smile.

_**Kelly**_

"Hey buddy." I say suggestively, my eyes moving from Gabby's boots by the entryway to the bedroom and then back to Matt and he can only shake his head at my antics. Matt roll his eyes at me and shoots me a look that lets me know I should leave it.

We both know I won't.

I watch him make his way around the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee, instantly throwing me a grateful look for making it after the warm liquid hits his throat.

He plops down on a stool across form me and grabs the sports section of the paper that I had been looking at. It doesn't take long before I become none-too-fond of the silence and give him another pointed look.

"You gonna fill me in on what's going on here?" I question with a laugh.

He simply shrugs. "It was a long day, Gabby stayed the night. I didn't want her to be alone after everything." He tells me, trying to down play the events of the night before and this morning.

I raise my brow at him, seemingly not believing a word he has said, but let it go. My teasing voice gone as I asks my next question, concerned for the girl I'd grown to think of as a best friend, a sister. "How is she?"

Matt looks back at the bedroom door down the hall, I knew his mind was clouded with thoughts of the beautiful brunette. "She's… okay… She talked to me a little bit about everything. She's blaming herself and I can tell she still feels guilty about not telling me. I don't know man, I think it's just going to take some time for her to really get through all the crap of the last couple weeks, can't say I really blame her. It's been crazy."

I nods before reassuring him. "Yeah, but she is tough. Tougher than just about anyone I know. She'll get through it… you'll help her through it man."

"Yeah, it'll be a lot easier to be there for her now… that she's moving in…"

My eyebrows shoot sky-high as I eye him up and he chuckles softly at my reaction. "You two?" I question.

Matt shakes his head. "No, we no. I mean we talked and… it's just not the right time for us right now." He says unconvincingly. "There is so much going on around us, so much changing, and we just decided to focus on the baby right now and work on our friendship. One day we'll get back there." He tells me quietly, hope in his voice that his words are true. Someday they'd get there. Someday.

I can't help but look at him skeptically. "So she's moving back in, but the two of you aren't together?" He nods his confirmation. "Simply as that?"

"Yeah." He laughs at me.

I shakes my head at him. "Alright." I laughs before turning to the cupboard and grabbing out some things, intent on making some breakfast, but Matt isn't appeased with my reaction.

"What?" He asks, knowing there is more to what I wanted to say.

I turn and set the mix on the counter along with the eggs I had grabbed. "Nothing. It's just things have _never_ been simple between the two of you, Case. Not before you got together when there was fiancé's and hidden feelings, not when you were together and there was brain injuries and the fire academy, not when you broke up and well we both know how well that's been working for the two of you, and there is no way in hell that the two of you living together, having a child together, _wanting_ to be together, but _not___being together, is going to be easy or simple."

Matt looks away and shakes his head, his eyes traveling to a picture of him and Gabby on the side of the fridge that he had yet to take down. He'd moved it from the front of the fridge to the side where he wouldn't see it all the time, but it still sat there in a place that he could still steal an easy peek at it whenever he needed. Apparently my words had caused him to need it.

He smiles sadly before looking back over at me. "It's different this time… It's not just the two of us to think about anymore. We both know that and we both have agreed this is just how it's got to be right now. I don't want to do anything to stress her out and put her back in the place she was. It's just… how it has to be." He trails off, not sure what else to say to justify he and Gabby's decision.

I knew it was going to be hard for the both of them to turn those feelings off, and I didn't really know if I agreed with the idea of putting the two of them on hold- again, but I wouldn't say anything. I knew the two of them were going to do things on their own time and I just hoped that one day they

would find their way back to each other.

"I think it's great, all that you are doing for her Casey, I'm just saying don't forget about your own feelings as well. Gabs may deserve some time to sort everything out in her head, you do too. It's great that you both want to put your child above everything else, but the both of you still deserve to be happy. And you both make each other happy so why not?"

Casey shrugs. "I still love her, and she still loves me. It's just… not the right time. We rushed into a lot of things the first time. And yeah things are different because she's pregnant and going to be living here but I don't know… It just seems right, to have her here and to take the time we need to get past it all. We'll get there someday and I know that when we do we will have done it right and we will both be ready for it then."

I smile at Casey, I may not agree with it all, but I was still proud of my friend for stepping up. He loved Gabby and he wanted to be with her, and I knew Gabby felt the same, but Casey was acting selflessly as usual. He was putting what he thought Gabby needed and what he knew there child needed above his own feelings for the girl he loved, not that I expected anything less from him.

"You know I support the both of you, and I'm gonna be here to help you both as much as I can. I just don't want to see either of you hurt again in all of this. You love each other, just remember that, and remember that it's not all going to be this simple…" I tell him.

Matt smiles softly and there is a look in his eyes that he only ever gets when Gabby is brought up and I can't help but smile. "Yeah it won't always be easy, but with Gabby it will be worth it…"

_**Dawson**_

A content sigh left my lips as I rolled over in bed. The soft sheets and plush comforter burring me into the bed. I'd missed this bed. I'd missed the soft, warm, and comforting sheets. The soft mattress- that was so much softer than the one at Sylvie's. The smell of Matt that lingered in the pillow cases. The warmth of Matt's embrace…

That's when I realize Matt was no longer in bed. I sit up tiredly looking around the now brightened room, the sun peaking in through the half drawn blinds, and realizes Matt is no longer here. I lean over and look at the alarm clock and see that it is nearing 11 o'clock. I hadn't slept this well in weeks. Maybe months. It felt wonderful. I could still feel a little exhaustion from the hectic events from the day before, but I still felt well rested and content for the first time in a long time.

I lean back into the covers and take it all in. So much had changed in just 24 hours. Matt and I had had some of the best conversation's we'd had in a long time. We'd talked openly about our feelings and what we both wanted and I honestly think that could've been the first time we'd ever done so. Sure we had talks about important things when we were together, we talked about our feelings, about the future, but this was different. Then it had always felt like one of us was holding back. Like there was something in the way from letting us both completely open up too each other. It hadn't felt like that at all today. It'd felt good to open up too Matt. To confess my fears and my wants. To tell him I loved him, even if maybe it wasn't the right time for us to hop back into a relationship I couldn't stop the feeling in me that was screaming that whenever we did get together it would be right. We would do it right and it would be it. There would be no more breaks or fights that tore us apart, there wouldn't be any more walking away or holding our feelings back. There wouldn't be any more hiding things from each other, it would be perfect and it would be forever this time.

Forever sounded pretty damn good to me.

I look around the room that held so many memories for us and I know that we will only continue to make memories together. Together with our baby.

At that thought my hand comes down to rest on my bare stomach as my shirt has ridden up in my sleep. I look at the swell of my 15 week stomach and can't help the smile that fills my features. My baby.

_Our baby._

Our baby was okay. I was okay. Matt was okay. We were all going to be okay. I felt like for the first time in months that everything was going to be okay. Everything was falling into place again. Everything felt right again. Like my whole world had snapped back into place after waking up again in this bed. This bed that held _so many_ memories. This bed in our room, in _our_ apartment. The bed where our baby had unknowingly been made. The bed where Matt had held me all night, had wiped my tears, and promised me we'd be okay. Told me he still loved me, and promised me that we would get back to what we had before, only better. This bed held the majority of my favorite memories since we had moved into this apartment nearly 10 months ago. Almost 4 months of that time I had spent not living here, but I knew that was coming to an end and I honestly couldn't be happier about that.

I'd missed this place. I'd missed Matt. And honestly, I'd missed Kelly as well. We had fallen into a comfortable routine when we all lived together and I was excited to get back to that. Kelly was one of my best friends. And Matt… well he was Matt. _My Matt. _He always would be. I was sad that I wouldn't be living with Sylvie anymore, my mermaid, but I knew she would understand and only wanted what was best for me.

I knew that being here in this place, with Matt, was what was best for not only myself and Matt, but also our baby. Matt made a valid point when he asked me to move back in. He'd missed almost half of my pregnancy, and well I guess I had too with not knowing until I was 11 week along. But Matt was right, he should get to be there. He should get to experience all the ups and downs of this pregnancy. He should get to experience our baby's first kick and everything that came with it. I hadn't realized those were the exact words I had needed to hear until they were slipping from his mouth. I was coming home.

Home… I had lost sight of the true meaning of that word in the time Matt and I had spent apart. Before the break home was wherever Matt was. Home was the apartment we had made our own. When I had left that apartment I had tried to find home in Brett's place, but it was always missing something. Sure it was homey and comfortable, and I loved having the blonde as a roommate, but it was missing something.

I realized very quickly that that something was Matt.

Matt was home. He'd been my home for over a year now, and I knew that wasn't going to change.

We were friends, friends with a promise of _someday. _

I heard a light laughter coming from the kitchen and I decide that it is finally time for me to get up. I make my way into the adjoining bathroom and after running a brush through my hair and relieving my bladder I caught sight of myself in the mirror and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. I remembered looking in the mirror a month ago after finding out I was pregnant and thinking that I had never looked so lost. I remembered thinking that a frown and puffy eyes were more of a prominent feature than a smile and bright eyes.

Looking at myself now, sporting Matt's oversized shirt and pajama pants, I could see the light in my eyes, -albeit they were a little puffy from the previous day, and the genuine smile on my face.

It felt good. It felt great.

I chill runs through me when I walk back into the bedroom and I steal one of Matt's sweaters before slowing padding into the kitchen where I could hear the boys talking.

Kelly's voice rings out softly as I make my way down the hall, still out of view from the two of them. _"You know I support the both of you, and I'm gonna be here to help you both as much as I can. I just don't want to see either of you hurt again in all of this. You love each other, just remember that, and remember that it's not all going to be this simple…"_

Kelly hadn't always been the voice of reason, but I can't help but feel a pride for him and how far he'd come in the past couple years. In the past few months especially. He was going to make a great uncle to this baby.

Matt's words follow Kelly's softly_. "Yeah it won't always be easy, but with Gabby it will be worth it…"_ I can't help the blush that rises to my cheeks or the way my heart clenches at his words. God, I was so in love with that man.

I nervously pad into the room, not wanting to interrupt the conversation they were having, but also not wanting to hide away in the hall and snoop. I hit the creek in the floorboard and Kelly and Matt's eyes both snap to meet mine. "Hi." I whisper nervously.

Matt smiles softly at me with a glimmer in his eyes that I'd missed so much and Kelly breaks out into a big grin. "Hey roomie!" He jokes, breaking whatever tension was in the air.

I laugh lightly as I make my way over to them, leaning up against the counter beside them. "That okay with you?" I question Kelly with a laugh.

He throws an arm around my shoulder and brings me into his side. "Of course it is, Gabs."

Kelly brings his cup to his lips and sips at the coffee that I had been eyeing before he meets my eyes. "You want some?"

"Decaf?" I question, already knowing the answer. Both men wince and Matt smirks at me before getting up from his stool. He rests a hand on my shoulder before kissing the side of my head, something he'd been doing a lot that I was really loving, before walking towards the fridge. "I'll pick some up at the store later." He pours a glass of orange juice for me and hands me my prenatal vitamins and the morning sickness pills the doctor had prescribed before placing the pills and glass in front of me. I take them gratefully and he sends me a wink before turning back to the fridge to grab the milk and a mixing bowl and setting them down in front of Kelly.

"What are we making?" I ask curiously, hearing my stomach rumble for some food.

Kelly laughs and makes a joke about eating for two that has me scowling at both him and Matt when they laugh, before he tells me he is making waffles, eggs, and sausage. After offering to help and being shot down by both men who gave me an admonishing look, letting me know I was not to be over doing it, I plopped down in a stool across from them and watched them work as we all carried on light conversation. Laughter filling the apartment once again.

Watching Kelly and Matt across from me working away and cracking jokes, bringing me into every conversation and making me feel welcomed back into our home right away. Kelly's lighthearted attitude and big brothering way had always made me feel welcomed at 51 and it was no exception here. Matt would send me a smile every few minutes or a wink and it was almost enough to stop my heart.

These two men were two of the most important people in my life.

I rub my hand along my stomach and smile at the two men in front of me with their heads thrown back in laughter at a joke that I hadn't been in on.

That feeling of _home_ hits me once again and I feel my smile widen.

I was finally _home_.

**Thanks for reading! Please drop me a review and let me know what you thought! **

**Review, Review, Review.**

**XoXo**


	10. Just Friends

**A/N: To make up for no Chicago Fire tonight, here is an update! **

**Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter! Your words mean a lot to me and all the support really helps me write, so thank you all for being so awesome!**

**Here is another fluffy one where we see Matt and Gabby trying to explore that whole 'just friends' thing they decided on… Goofballs. **

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, still._

_**Dawson**_

There were a few things that Matt and I hadn't considered when we decided that I would move back into our apartment.

One: We had a two bedroom apartment with an extra half room that was currently being used up for storage.

Two: One bedroom was Kelly's, -and we agreed in no uncertain terms that Kelly was not going anywhere. We both loved having him and we would never ask him to leave. And our half room would be cleared of storage and turned into a nursery. It was just big enough for a crib, a changing table, and a rocking chair. There really wasn't much else that our little one would need.

But the big kicker was number, three: Due to the lack of space, Matt and I would be sharing a bed… Indefinitely.

Sure one of us could take the couch. Sure we could bring in a separate bed into the master bedroom. Sure we could move and find a bigger place, or I could just not move in. Did either of us really want to do any of those things? No.

Not at all.

Not even a little bit.

Matt and I stood in the middle of our bedroom contemplating the idea for a while before I had finally broken the ice. I knew he was afraid of pushing me. Matt had become my personal savior in the few days since my spill at the fire house, and he had been treating me like a delicate flower that we both knew I wasn't.

Things had been good for the most part. It had been a short two days since I woke up in Matt's bed and finally started getting the feeling of home again. I'd spent one last night at Sylvie's the night before. We'd watched far too many girly movies and ate too much ice cream and had just enough girl talk. I'd miss Sylvie, but I knew just because we weren't living together didn't mean we still couldn't be as close. She was still one of my best friends, and I'd promised her many girls' nights before I had left the apartment to come home.

Home. Matt and I's apartment was officially home again. The few suitcases of belongings I had brought to Sylvie's after moving out had been brought back and the belongings put back in their rightful place. Our room was our room again. And everything else was slowly falling into place.

As much as I was happy to be home, I knew sharing a bed with Matt for an indefinite amount of time was going to be difficult when we were both adamant about continuing this 'just friends' thing going on. I agreed with working on our friendship and building that trust back up, but when I had agreed to it all it never crossed my mind that Matt and I would spend the next few months cuddled up in the same bed.

There was something about Matt in the mornings when he's just woken up that drove me crazy. He almost always slept shirtless, which was just unfair if you asked me. I mean look at the guy. He was always warm from being covered with the sheets, which always made him so comforting and inviting. His hair was always tousled and messy, and his eyes were always squinted and adorable when he's just woken up. His morning pillow talk was always groggy and adorable as he slowly entered his fully aware state. To say the least it was going to be hard to keep my hands, and my feelings, to myself.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy the idea of sharing a bed with him again though. It would definitely be difficult, but if the sleep I had got the other night while in our bed again was any indication on how it would be, I knew it would be worth it.

When I had told Matt that we were both adults and could handle sharing the same bed the look he gave me told me he was feeling the same way I was.

I sat on the couch curled up with a blanket and a _Lifetime _movie marathon, waiting for Matt to return from a construction job. He'd been called out just after supper to fix something for a little old lady across town that he had done some work for before. Mrs. Sousa was a lovely lady, I'd met her and her husband once when Matt had dropped off some supplies for a shower he was redoing for them.

Mrs. Sousa had called him late, something about a broken stair and not wanting to trip during the night. Matt hadn't needed to hear anymore and he was changing out of his comfy clothes into some jeans and strapping on his tool belt.

He'd placed a kiss on the top of my head, something I'd grown attached too over the past three days of this dance, and told me he wouldn't be gone too long.

That was close to three hours ago.

Kelly was out with the guys at Molly's having a drink before work tomorrow morning. Drinking. Something I couldn't do. Going out. Something I also couldn't do right now. Work. Something I couldn't do for at least another 5 days. The guys had a 24 hour shift tomorrow, and I would be here. Taking it easy like I'd been doing for the past few days. Matt and Kelly both watching me like a hawk. Even Sylvie the night before when I had stayed with her one last time had barely let me get off the couch. All of my friends were babying me, and while I loved them for it and understood, I also kind of wanted to be able to hate them all for it.

But I'd take it easy, because I knew the pay off, -meeting our beautiful little baby, would be worth whatever amount of time I had to be hauled up on the couch.

My eyes are starting to get heavy and I'd basically completely zoned out of the movie that I had been watching when I hear keys in the lock and then foot steps down the entryway before Kelly appears. I can tell he's had a few to many when he gives me a wry smile.

I lift my feet and he plops down on the couch next to me before I settle my feet back onto his lap. He leans his head back and rubs his temple before letting out a groan and I snort with laughter. "Rough night?"

"Too many shots. Someone's birthday… don't ask me who…" He grumbles, but there is still a smile on his face. I can only laugh again.

"Sounds like riveting stuff." I joke.

He lifts his head and looks around the at the cup of tea on the table me snuggled up in a blanket, my hair I am sure a wild mess of curls, and the TV playing some cheesy horror romance movie. It's his turn to snort with laughter. "Sounds like my night might have been filled with a little more excitement than yours Dawson."

I scowl at him and lift my feet off his thigh before jabbing my heel into it. He yelps in pain before throwing a playful glare at me. "This really all you've been doing all night?" He asks now, his teasing tone lightening.

I shrug. "Basically. Casey and I had dinner and then he got a call for a 'quick' construction job. So baby and I have been here for the better part of the last 3 hours."

Severide gives me a look. "Sorry Gabs, I'm sure it gets boring hanging out here all day."

I smile and shrug my shoulder before letting my fingers subconsciously run along my stomach through the tight tank-top I was wearing, the bump easily identifiable through it. "Yeah, but it's good for the baby so it's worth it." I tell him simply.

Kelly smiles at me brightly and rest a comforting hand on my legs. "This kids pretty damn lucky." He says and I raise a brow at him in question. "Not even born yet and it already has so many people that love him… You're really gonna be an amazing Mom, Gabs." He tells me sincerely.

My eyes water at his words and I curse my pregnancy hormones as I let out a watery chuckle and wipe at my eyes. "Thanks Kel… Kids gonna be pretty damn lucky to have his awesome Uncle Kelly around too, you know?" I tell him seriously. He was going to be a great role model for our kid.

He smirks at me and mummers a thanks and just then we both hear the door close and Matt walks in, raising a brow at our positions on the couch and my watery eyes.

"Everything alright?" He questions concerned.

Kelly laughs and stands from the couch after patting my legs one last time. "Everything's fine man. Gabby was just getting all girly on me." He jokes throwing me a wink.

My mouth drops open in fake offense and I swat his arm as he walks by. "Jerk." I mumble and Matt laughs at our antics before the three of us all head off to bed.

It was good to be home.

_**Casey**_

Walking out of the bathroom I pull my work polo over my head and tuck it into my pants as I enter the bedroom, plopping down on a chair we had resting in the corner and slipping my feet into my boots. I'd just finished lacing them up when a little sigh from the bed drew me out of my thoughts. I look up to find brown eyes peeking out at me from the stark white covers and I smirk. I'd been so focused on what I was going to say to Chief today on shift that I'd almost forgotten Gabby was still sleeping in bed.

"Hey." I grin. "I didn't wake you did I?"

She shakes her head, her curls swaying slightly as she snuggles into the covers that were pulled up to her chin. "No, you're fine." The sleep is still thick in her voice and I know she's lying, but I smile anyways. Gabby was always adorable in the mornings. Sleepy-eyed, raspy voice, sweet smile on her face. "Work, huh?" She mumbles in a question.

"Yeah." I sigh.

Her eyes turn serious as she stares at me from her place in bed. "What's wrong?" I shrug off her concern and send her smile, hoping she will drop it. She doesn't, and I don't really expect her too. The girl could always read me like an open book. "Matt…" Just the simple shortened version of my name from her lips enough for me to cave.

"I'm just a little nervous about talking with Chief today…" I trail off, knowing she will understand the reasoning.

She winces slightly and gives me a look. "I'm sorry…" She mummers.

I shake my head and come to sit on the side of the bed. "It's not your fault."

She shrugs. "Kind of is… I wish I could be there to talk to him with you."

I can't help, but smile. "I know, but I'll be fine. Chief will probably yell, scold me a bit, and after that it will be over." I reassure her, and myself. "And you, will be here _relaxing_. Taking care of that baby." I tell her and she gives me a loving look. One I'd never tire of.

She huffs before nodding her head. "Let me know how it goes with him?"

"I will." I promise as I stand from the bed and throw my bag over my shoulder. "You call me if you need anything at all, alright?"

"Yes sir." She mumbles jokingly and I send her a playful glare.

I grab my jacket and lean down to press a kiss to her head before turning towards the door, listening as she lets out a content sigh. Something that she did after every kiss to the head, something I looked forward to after everyone.

I turn to her and send a wink in her direction. "See you tomorrow morning."

"Be careful!" She calls after me.

I stop in the doorway and take her in once again. She was still snuggled into our bed and I knew she was fully intent on getting a few more hours of sleep. Her curls were wild from having slept and her face was void of any makeup. She was beautiful. And though she had once again pulled the blankets up to her chin I knew under those blankets housed her little baby bump that I was growing to love more each day.

I knew I'd be extra careful from here on out. I had two of the most amazing gifts to come home to.

"Always." I promise her before turning to go.

xXx

I knock on the Chief's door, waiting to be motioned in, before entering and taking a seat across from his desk. I'm not sure how this will go, but I can't help the nerves that are coursing through me. Though Gabby's reassurance from this morning had made me feel better, the Chief's hard stance was bringing those nerves back full force.

Chief takes a seat behind his desk and runs a hand over his face and I take a deep breath to calm my

nerves. "How is Gabriella doing?"

"She's good. Still a little tired, but she's doing a lot better." He nods and I take another breath. "Look, Chief, I'm sorry I didn't tell you right when I found out. But I didn't learn until…"

"Casey, I know."

"I…" I look at him confused. "You know?"

"You might want to tell Dawson for future references that Christopher Hermann is a terrible liar, and even worst at keeping a secret." He tries to joke.

"Good to know." I mutter, but feel a sense of relief when Chief cracks a small smile at my words.

"Listen, Casey, I'm not pleased with not being brought in the loop, but I do realize that was not by your choice, so I can't fault you in that."

I take a sigh of relief. "…and Dawson?"

Chief heaves a sigh. "Well I am assuming that it is up for debate whether or not Dawson is even going to be a cleared to work again?" He questions and I nod, telling him that she had a doctor's appointment in a couple days to let us know. "When and if Gabriella is cleared to work we will take it from there. As I said I don't appreciate not being told by either of you, but I was still told weeks ago, and never brought it to either of your attention, which is my own fault. I don't know what is going on between the two of you, but I will allow Dawson to finish out whatever length of her Candidacy her Doctor will allow here at 51. But after the baby is born if she decides to finish her Candidacy I don't think I can let her do it here, no matter the circumstances between the two of you, I just don't think it would be a good idea, having the mother of your child working under you." He gives me a pointed look and I nod my head.

"Probably a good idea." I mutter, it was hard enough keeping my emotions in check with Gabby working under me and wanting to make sure she was safe, knowing that we had a child at home waiting for the both of us would make things ten times harder.

I already knew if Gabby was released to work for a few more weeks I would be keeping her at an arm's length when it came to certain calls. I'd do anything to make sure she was safe.

After a little longer of speaking with Chief I make my way into the common room and grab a cup of coffee before moving to take a seat at the head of the table.

My cell phone goes off and I pull it out to see a text from Gabby and can't help the frown that forms at her words.

_G: When are you coming home?_

_M: 22 hours. Why? Is everything okay?_

I can feel the worry setting in as I take my seat and wait for her reply.

_G: Soooo. Boreddddd._

Relief washes over me and I can't help but smirk. Gabby had never been a home body and this time stuck in our apartment was driving her crazy.

_M: Watch some more of that cheesy reality show I caught you on the other night… ;)_

I smirk, remembering walking in on Gabby on the couch watching some cheesy reality show. The only thing I had caught of it before she turned it was two girls going at it. I had teased her to no avail the rest of the night, Kelly joining in as well once he caught wind of the conversation.

Hermann takes a seat beside me and I eye him up after learning of his slip to the Chief.

"How'd that go?" He questions.

I scuff. "Chief told me Hermann." I laugh at the expression that fills his features. "It's fine." I reassure. "In fact, you may have saved both Dawson and I's asses by telling him."

Hermann laughs and shrugs it off. "What can I say, Chief knows when there is something going on in his house and he's not afraid to beat it out of you if he thinks you know." He laughs.

"That he does."

"So, how is our girl doing?"

"Good…" My cell phone buzzes again and before I look at the message I meet Hermann's eyes. "Bored at home." I laugh.

"Imagine that. Sitting at home is not something Gabriella Dawson does well."

"You're telling me." I mumble, thinking of some of Gabby's moodier times the past few days from being stuck in the house.

"And you two?" Hermann questions.

I look down at my phone as I see Gabby's name filter across.

_G: You're on thin ice Mr. Casey…_

I smile at her words before answering Hermann. "Friends..."

_M: Bring it on._

"…just friends." I reply softly.

As Severide and I walk into the apartment the next morning we both part ways and head to our bedrooms, neither of us bothering with coffee or breakfast, both far too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

I enter the bedroom and set my bag down quietly, smiling when I catch sight of Gabby with the blankets pulled up to her face, her nose, eyes, and top of her head the only thing popping out from the heavy blankets. _Got to love winters in Chicago_. It was unusually cold for this time of year and Gabby was not liking it one bit, I'm pretty sure she had added an extra blanket to our bed every night since she'd moved back in. I wouldn't dare complain though.

I strip down to my boxers, knowing by the size of the mound of blankets currently on the bed that it wouldn't take me long to get over heated. I quickly realize Gabby is on my side of the bed and look at her sleeping form confused. I slowly sit down on her side of the bed and after a little stretch from the sleeping brunette her eyes open warily at first, before brightening considerably.

"You're home." She croaks sleepily, a small smile coming to her now uncovered face.

I can't help but smile at her disoriented state. What could I say? The girl was adorable in the mornings and I'd be lying if I said my heart rate didn't pick up a little at the way her tired eyes were raking across my nearly bare form.

I tuck the hair that had fallen out of place behind her ear before crawling under the covers. "I'm home." I confirm. She slowly gravitates toward me mumbling a, "How was shift?"

"Exhausting."

Her nose scrunches up in distaste. "Sorry."

I shrug before looking down at her. "Why are you sleeping on my side?" I ask her with a laugh in my throat.

Her face once again scrunches up in distaste as she looks at her side of the bed that I was currently on. "I couldn't fall asleep last night… I swear you snuck bricks under the mattress on my side before you left for work." She grumbles, and I know that she must not have gotten much sleep, we both know I didn't put bricks anywhere near our mattress, but Gabby was always one for a little dramatics.

I laugh heartily and she playfully glares at me and presses her cold feet against my leg under the covers, and grins in accomplishment when I jump and yelp at the cold contact. I glare back at her, but open my arms in a peace offering and she gravitates toward me within seconds and snuggles into my arms, something we'd both grown accustomed to over the past few days. That thin line between friendship and something more between us blurring constantly that I really didn't know what side we were on half the time.

Her head rests on my chest and her hand falls to my side. "It was weird sleeping in here without you." She whispers into my chest. "I've never done it before."

I rack my brain and realize that she was right. Gabby had never slept without me in this bed, our shifts always matched up when she was here, and the one night I had stayed out with Severide that had caused a fight and the beginning of our break up, Gabby had slept on the couch waiting up for me… A memory neither of us liked to relive.

"Afraid of the monsters under the bed?" I joke softly and she swats at me again as she scowls. I grab her hand to stop her from hitting me once again and hold it against my chest. "I'm here now." I whisper into her hair as I place a kiss there and don't miss the smile that spreads across her lips.

"Good." She says sleepily.

Her leg comes to drape across mine and my hand falls to her hip as I hold her close and I take a deep breath. _No wonder the girl was freezing_, I think as I realize for the first time her sleep attire, or better yet, lack thereof. She was wearing a tank-top, and when her chest snuggles into my side I take note that she isn't wearing a bra and can already feel my heart rate pick up. When my hand falls to her hip and her leg wraps around mine I realize the only thing covering her bottom half is a pair of boy-cut panties and my mouth goes dry.

I was sure she was trying to kill me. Gabby was undeniably sexy, and the best part was she didn't even realize it. Or maybe it was the worst part,-that was still up for debate. Her breaths even out and I know she has already fallen back to sleep and I want to hate her for not being as affected by all this as I am, but I know that that was impossible. She continues to drive me crazy for the next 20 minutes. Her breath on my neck as she slept. Her hair tickling my chest. Her foot running idly back and forth along my calf. Her nearly bare body pressed against mine. She was driving me mad, and she had no idea.

I make quick note of the fact that between the two of us there was only 3 articles of clothing standing in the way, and that only proves to drive me even crazier.

As I try to control my racing heart and tensing body I keep trying to play one thought through my head.

_We're just friends. Just friends. That's all. Just friends. _

Right?

_**Dawson**_

I had never been more tired of a place in my entire life.

I'd spent months wishing to be back in this apartment, and within a matter of a little less than two weeks all I wanted was to get out of here. Not away from Matt, or to move out, but to just _get out_.

In the time sense I moved back in the farthest I'd gone was too Brett's apartment the night after I got home from the hospital, and to my doctor's appointment a few days ago where I was told to take another two shifts off before I could go back to work for another two weeks until my next doctor's appointment where they would decide things further.

I was thrilled to be getting another two weeks back at work. I was missing the guys, and being a home body was not something I was use too. Matt wasn't exactly thrilled that I would be working again, and the past few days had been a little tense between the two of us because of it. We both knew I wouldn't be over doing it. I didn't want to, and I knew as my Lieutenant he wouldn't let me and I was okay with that.

I just wanted to get to spend a little more time in house working with the guys before I was taken off work, and then later forced to go to another house, and I knew Matt didn't understand that side of it. I couldn't blame him for not understanding, since I was the one who hadn't explained my reasoning. I knew the Chief had told him that I wouldn't be allowed to work under him again, and I couldn't fault Chief in that at all. We were lucky to have gotten to work together at all in the first place. Chief had taken a chance on us in the beginning and it started out messy, but we figured it out. Well we didn't exactly figure it out per-say, but it all worked out work wise… just not so much home wise. I guess not letting the Chief down in trusting us to make it work was the only thing we really accomplished in that whole situation.

It was a decision full of 'what ifs' and I decided a long time ago it was best to just try not to dwell on them because there wasn't anything I could do about it now.

I wonder around the apartment in one of Matt's sweatshirts I had found in the dryer last night and a pair of stripped sleep shorts with a mug of tea clutched in my hand.

I'd cleaned the night before while the guys were on shift. Dusted, did dishes, laundry, and re organized the closet all within the first 4 hours of them being gone and had ended up going to bed early because I was so bored. So of course when 5a.m. rolled around baby and I were wide awake. I'd been up for a little over 2 hours now and I knew the guys would be home in about an hour.

I slowly wonder down the hall and take a sip of my tea before stopping outside one of the doors. I slowly walk into the room and look around the small room that will be our baby's room. It was covered in a bookshelf on one wall that we had planned to paint and bring to the living room, but never ended up doing. An extra dresser that neither of us ended up needing was nestled in another corner and the majority of the rest of the space was full of boxes. Boxes of things that Matt and I had never went through after moving in. It was mostly just extra stuff that neither of us needed once we had gotten together, but we had just never gotten rid of. I flip the light on and look closer around the room, trying to picture our baby living here.

I could see a crib over in one corner, a rocking chair in the other, a changing table against the wall. Pink or blue painted walls. I take a seat in the middle of the floor and let my hand rest on my slowly expanding stomach. I was just about to enter my 17th week of pregnancy and I knew that meant a few things. Our baby was just about 5inches long from its head to its bottom, and weighed about as much as a turnip. The umbilical cord was growing thicker and stronger, and its skeleton was turning from soft cartilage to bone. The ultrasound that we had seen a few days ago had showed a pretty good picture of our little peanut, and if it weren't so stubborn and would let us have a look we would be able to know if it was a boy or a girl, but we had yet to find that out.

Looking down at my stomach I can't help but smile. I was definitely starting to show now. Before if you really paid close enough attention you could tell, but now it was hard to miss when you were standing in front or beside me. I wasn't very big at all, but when you are used to seeing a flat stomach the little baby bump throws people for a bit of a loop. I could only imagine the guys of 51 reaction when I came to work in 3 days.

I had yet to tell my parents the news. They were back in the Dominican Republic for a few weeks after being home for only a short couple of months. Antonio knew, and had promised to keep it a secret. He was skeptical of Matt and I's living situation and decision to stay just friends, but he knew better than to question it much.

I'd told him we were just friends… and that's all we were… It didn't matter that sometimes I felt like we had never broken up, it didn't matter that we acted like a couple, save for the kissing and 'I love you's' and well… sex. It didn't matter that we shared a bed and held each other all night, almost every night. It didn't matter that he still made my heart ache for him, or butterflies erupt in my stomach, and it didn't matter that I still loved him. Because we were just friends.

Just friends.

"Gabby?" I hear call out through the apartment. The man that occupied almost every thought I had, was the holder of the voice.

Before I can answer I hear him step into the room and a moment later he is taking a seat beside me. "How was work?" I question softly. We had steered clear of talking about anything work related since the day after my appointment. Every time it was brought up it ended in a spat about whether I should go or not, I figured what better time to bring it up then before next shift.

He sighed. "It was fine, slow… You ready to be back next shift?"

I nod my head. "Yeah… I'm ready to see everyone again. I miss them all."

"You do know that you don't have to be working to come see the guys?"

"Matt…" I warn softly, I really didn't want to fight with him about this again. I was going to work these next two weeks like the doctor had said I could.

He sighs heavily. "I know… I know. I just…" He wonders off before beginning again in a quiet voice. "I don't want to see anything happen, to either of you, again… I want you to be safe."

I smile reassuringly as I grab his hand and clasp it in-between my smaller ones, letting my chin rest on his shoulder as I look up at him. "I will be fine, and you want to know why?" He looks at me intrigued and I flash him another smile before answering him sweetly. "Because I have the _best_ Lieutenant in all of Chicago, and I know that he is going to take very good care of me and of this baby."

We share a smile and I let my arms move from his hand to wrap around his arm as my head moves to rest on his shoulder. "Just promise me if it feels like too much, even for a second, you let me know."

I nod my head against his shoulder. "I promise."

We are both silent for another few minutes before he chuckles lightly and looks around the room. "What are you doing in here anyways, wily?"

I chuckle and look around at the room once again, thinking about all that baby items that would fill it. "I was thinking…"

"Uh oh…"

I smack his arm before he continue and we both share a laugh before I go on. "As I was saying… We should probably get started on this room soon. We've got a lot of work to do." I joke, looking around at all the things that now occupied the space.

"Yeah. I'll talk to Severide later, maybe we can get to work on some of these boxes today."

I nod. "Okay."

Matt places a kiss to the side of my head and I close my eyes as he moves away and I feel him stand beside me. When I open them again he is standing in front of me with an outstretched hand. "Come on. I may even let you nap with me for a bit." He jokes as he throws and arm around my shoulder and leads us both back down the hall to our bedroom.

I scuff as I look up at him. "Whoa, calm down, sweet talker." He laughs loudly and I feel the vibration through my body as I walk tucked into his side.

Once we enter the bedroom Matt moves away to his side of the bed and starts to remove his clothes and pulls on a pair of pajama pants over his boxers and I feel my heart rate pick up immediately at the sight of him, something it had been doing a lot lately.

My lips subconsciously comes between my teeth as my eyes rake over him and I feel a want for him that I had never felt before, my hormones on overdrive. I'm so caught up in some not so clean thoughts that I don't even realize he has crawled into bed until he is calling my name.

"You coming to bed, or just gonna stand there, goof?" He jokes and I blink a few times, taking in his words. I realize I had completely zoned and hope he didn't recognize my stare. I nod slowly and swallow the lump in my throat and try to even my breathing.

I make my way to my side of the bed and lay down slowly trying to calm the affects he is having on me. But when he rolls over to turn his lamp off and I get a perfect view of his rippling back muscles, and then turns and flashes me a smile I feel my cheeks redden at the thoughts running through my head. _Just friends. It's just the hormones. Just friends. Just friends. Get a grip. _

But when he wraps an arm around me and holds me close and kisses my head I feel a heat once again pooling in my stomach and have to hide my groan.

Stupid. Pregnancy. Hormones.

**Thanks for reading! **

**Review, Review, Review!**

**Reviews help me write faster. *wink wink* ;) **

**XoXo**


	11. Apocalypse

**A/N: Thank you for all the support for this story. I am blown away by the response every time I get on here. 328 reviews for 10 chapters!? You're all amazing. Thank you so much!**

**Chicago Fire is back on Tuesday! Woooo hoooo!**

**Now I have a favor to ask all of you lovely readers… I just uploaded a new story 'You'll Get It And Be Gone' and I'm pretty nervous about it, so I would really appreciate if you could all check it out and let me know what you think. It's pretty different from what I normally write. Please, and thank you! : )**

**Also, an update to 'After The Smoke Clears' will be up tomorrow for those that have asked! **

**Hope you like this one!**

_Disclaimer: Still owning nothing. I know, sad day. _

_**Dawson**_

A moan leaves my lips as I slowly make my way into consciousness. I feel my body waking up and all I want to do is snuggle into the warmth beneath me and sleep for as long as I can, feeling far too comfortable to be awake yet.

But then I realize the warmth that is underneath me is Matt and the position we were currently in was far more than _just friends_ and my heartrate spikes as I take it all in.

I'm laying directly on top of Matt, our hips pressed together, and my head snuggled into his neck, my lips just a brush away from the smooth skin that I'd spent many nights claiming as my own. Our legs are tangled together and one of my arms is wrapped around his lower back while the other is wrapped around his neck clutching onto him. His hand is rested on my ass and the other gripping my hip, our bodies are pressed tightly together and my tank-top has ridden up dangerously far, resting just under my breasts, our bare skin pressing together. I have no idea how we got ourselves into this position, we'd been snuggling like we normally would any night, and somewhere in the middle of the night we had clearly gravitated towards each other even more.

I move my position and have to bite my lip to stop the moan that tries to escape when our lower half presses together in a way it hasn't in months. Matt is only in boxers and I am only in a pair of boy cut panties and I know I need to move away from him before things get any more dangerous than they already are.

Matt shifts underneath me and I know he is waking up and my heartrate is through the roof now. His grip on my bottom and hip tighten and a content sound leaves his lips as he makes his way into consciousness. I choose the easy way out and pretend to be sleeping. The last thing I need is for Matt to realize I was the one awake and hadn't moved us from this position, but instead enjoyed it for longer.

He grunts when he wakes up and I can tell he is blushing without even looking. His hands move up to rest on my lower back and I can feel his body tightening beneath me. When his hands run up down my back lazily a shiver leaves me at the contact and I know I can't pretend to sleep after that.

"Hi…" I murmur cautiously, still wondering why neither of us have made the move to get out of this positon.

"Morning." Matt's gruff voice is enough to send another shiver through me and cause the heat to pool in my stomach.

Both of us move at the same time and when Matt's eyes meet mine my heart nearly stops at the feelings coursing through me. Our lips are so close that all either of has to do is move just the slightest bit and they'd meet. His eyes flick from my eyes to my lips and back again and I subconsciously lick my lips at that action.

Matt leans down and our lower half's press together in a delicious way and we both pause and close our eyes at the contact. It'd been far too long, and I could _feel_ Matt underneath me and it was causing the heat in my stomach to go into overdrive. My want for him driving me crazy, my hormones making everything I was feeling maximize.

Matt's grip on my hip tightens and my eyes snap open to meet his once again. Before either of us can make another move Matt's alarm clock is going off and we both jump at the sound. I close my eyes in frustration and a noise leaves Matt's lips for the same reason. I roll away from him and take a few calming breaths as he rolls over and turns the annoying beeping off. If looks could kill the alarm clock would have combusted under Matt's intense stare.

I roll onto my back and try to calm down my heated state and Matt does the same beside me. We both had to get ready for work now and the thoughts running through my head were far from work appropriate. I take another deep breath before speaking, not meeting his eyes. "You, uh, you can shower first." I mumble, knowing from the state he was in that he needed one.

Matt nods his head and rolls from the bed and I stretch my tense limps, forgetting my already ridden up shirt as it rides up more and Matt's eyes darken as he looks down at me.

I fix my shirt and Matt takes a deep breath before turning away from me. "I uh, I'm gonna go… uh go shower." He stutters out.

The door closes behind him and I groan in frustration.

So much for just friends.

_**Casey**_

Things were tense between Gabby and I all morning as we moved around the apartment getting ready for her first day back at work. We skirted around each other in the bedroom getting ready. Gabby spending extra time in the bathroom that I knew she was doing so she didn't have to face me. Once we got to the kitchen it was hard to ignore each other with Severide's questioning glances thrown our way.

He would crack jokes and break the tension without even realizing it, one of the reason's Gabby and I both loved having him around. He kept things easy and light for us whenever we hit a little rough spot. But once we got to our vehicles and Gabby and I jumped in my truck and Severide in his car, he was no longer there to break the tension, we couldn't run from each other.

We've been in the car for nearly 10minutes and I know we are slowly approaching 51 and now is the time to say anything if I was going to.

"Gabby…"

She tenses and I watch all her defenses go up and she won't meet my eyes. "Don't… Can we just… we just got caught up in the moment…" She takes a deep breath and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see she is lying to herself when she says her next words. "…it didn't mean anything."

My eyes snap to watch her as she brings her lip in between her teeth. Her words don't even hurt me, because it so obvious that she is lying to herself, trying to convince herself that her words were true. I knew she was doing it because we'd decided to just be friends. She was doing it so neither of us got hurt. She was doing it because it was easier than actually discussing what we both wanted. I couldn't blame her for that, not at all.

I don't blame her for what she's feeling, but it doesn't mean I'm going to let her act like it doesn't mean something when we both know it does. "Doesn't it?" I question her.

She looks at me with pleading eyes, but nods her head softly. Letting me know it does indeed mean something. It means everything. We pull up to 51 before either of us can say anything else and I follow Gabby to the locker room as we both change out.

"You ready for this?" I question her softly with concern.

She nods her head and throws me a smile. "I am."

I walk up to her and rest my hand on her stomach and place a kiss on her forehead. "You let me know if it becomes too much, okay?"

She nods her head and gives me a reassuring smile. "Promise."

We make our way into the common room and Gabby is engulfed in hugs and welcomed back with open arms from all of the guys. Earning many remarks and compliments about her slowly expanding stomach that they were all seeing for the first time and I can't wipe the smile off my face as I see her interact with the guys. I knew she had missed this, had missed the guys and 51.

We all groan as breakfast is served and the bells go off, calling us off before we get a chance to eat.

We all hop into the rigs and I share a look with Gabby before taking my seat, my worry for her evident, but I knew I needed to put it aside for now. I just hoped that I was able to keep her safe on whatever calls came our way this shift.

When we walk into Chicago Med after showing up at a factory fire and needing to bring all the victims in as quickly as possible I start to get a sinking feeling in my chest. Everything is chaos in the ER. All of us from 51 are bringing in workers from the factory while the hospital personnel is trying to make room for the new patients and also take care of all of the flu patients that were backing up the ER.

I'm brought back to 2 weeks ago when I was sitting in this very waiting room praying to God that I didn't lose Gabby or our baby. I meet her eyes for a moment, so thankful that that day didn't turn for the worst. Thankful that not only her, but our baby was safe.

Our gaze is broken by yelling and we both look to the man that has climbed on top of a chair, a grenade in his hand. I listen to his words and feel that sinking feeling hitting me once again. Worse than Ebola. Apocalypse. Yelling something in another language. I watch Severide jump towards the man, and before I can think about what's happening my body is moving in the opposite direction. Straight towards Gabby. I hear the blast all around us and feel my body falling to the ground, Gabby falling with me. Screams fill the air. Smoke and dust. Then it all goes black, and the only comfort I feel is knowing that Gabby's body is safely secured under my own.

…I really… _really hated_ hospitals…

When I come too all I can make out is chaos around me. My ears are ringing and my eyes hurt from the dust and smoke in them. All I can think about is that day a year ago at this same hospital. A bomb that rocked us all too our core. And then the explosion that took Shay's life. All three of those events felt the same. The dust. The smoke. The screams. The blast. All of it is so familiar. One thought in particular is very familiar. _Gabby_. Where was she?

I hear a distinct moan from underneath me and lift myself up a little, my heart beating erratically when I take in Gabby's appearance, half of me flooded with relief, the other with worry.

I lift my weight off of her. "Gabby!" Oh god. Another groan leaves her lips and her eyes open slowly as her hand comes up to the cut on her head. "Gabby, baby, talk to me. You okay?" I question her frantically, my hands coming to rest on both of her cheeks.

Her eyes finally meet mine with recognition and she nods slowly as I help her up. She winces in pain and I look her over again. "Gabs?"

"I'm fine. I promise. Just sore." She reassures, her hand coming to rest on the back of her head. "Definitely a concussion, otherwise fine." She mumbles and I can see the pain still in her face.

Halstead hollers out something about the bomber and I help Gabby sit down against the wall before turning towards him. "I don't know. He said something about being worse than Ebola."

Chief calls through the radio and I give him an update before Halstead grabs my radio and hollers through that the ER is going on lockdown. No one in or out. I tell Hermann to lock it off before turning back to Gabby. My worry for her and the baby clouding everything else.

I crouch down in front of her. "No more work." I say strongly meeting her eyes, and I know she knows that I am talking about the next two weeks that she was supposed to work. Nearly 2 hours into shift and I've already almost lost her. She'd be lucky if I let her out of my sight again after this, let alone ever work again.

She nods her head in agreement, and I can see in her eyes that this has rocked her to her core, her worry for our baby taking hold of her.

Halstead crouches down beside us and looks at us warily. Shining his light on Gabby's cut. "Hey, you okay?"

Gabby nods and I turn to him. "She's pregnant."

His eyes widen as he looks between the two of us and then to the chaos around. "Wow… uh, alright. Just, take it easy. Okay? You feeling alright now?" He question and Gabby nods in reply. He looks around at the mess around us and then settles his attention back on us. "Alright, you let us know if that changes. Okay? There is nothing we can really do now, but just wait it out."

"Hey it's Severide!" I feel the dread shoot through my body again and I can see the fear creep into Gabby's features as well.

Placing a kiss on the side of Gabby's head and giving her a reassuring look before mumbling, "It's gonna be okay." And making my way over to my friend.

Hoping that Severide will be okay. I didn't know what Gabby and I, or any of 51 would do without him.

_**Dawson**_

This was all so surreal.

I'd been so excited to get back to work for weeks. Then barely 2 hours into my first shift back and we're all stuck in the hospital after someone blows themselves up, possibly infecting all of us with some deadly virus.

And possibly killing Severide…

I shake my head at that thought. I can't let those thoughts creep in. Severide was tough. He was a fighter and he would make it through this. I can't help the thought that keeps telling me that Shay was tough too, she was a fighter, and she wasn't here. I try and shake that thought as well. This was different… It had to be different. We couldn't lose Kelly too. My head was barely above water after losing Shay, I couldn't lose Kelly as well.

Everything seemed so similar to that day, yet so different as well.

"Hey Dawson, how you doing?" Hermann asks, coming to stand beside me as I finished wrapping someone's wound on their arm, knocking me out of those dangerous thoughts. I try to hide the roll of my eyes. I was positive Casey had turned this whole thing into a 'make sure Gabby is alright mission'. The guys had all been checking on me relentlessly. I knew they were all worried. We'd been stuck in this hell for nearly 3 hours and were all trying not to lose our minds. Apparently worrying for me was distracting them all. I wanted to hate them all for it, but I couldn't. I knew they were doing it because they cared for me and for this baby, but it still sucked to be singled out when you were just trying to put everything else aside and do your job.

"Casey or Chief send you this time?" I ask him with a raised brow. I'd heard Chief call out a couple times through Casey's radio and ask if the baby and I were okay. He and Casey weren't fooling me at all with sending the guys around to do checkups on me for them.

He laughs. "Neither, actually. This one's all on my own, free of charge." He jokes.

I laugh at this and stand from my place where I'd finished wrapping the man's wound. "I'm fine Hermann, you can report back to Casey that he can quit worrying so much. Come back in 20 minutes like I am sure you will, and I will tell you the same thing again." I tell him with a cheeky smile.

He smirks and shakes his head at me. "You know he's just concerned… You gave us all a hell of a scare a couple weeks ago, and now look what we're all stuck in." He says motioning around. "I think distracting ourselves with worrying for you and that little one is about the only thing keeping us all sane in here."

My resolve weakens, they all might be driving me crazy with their worrying, but at least it was helping them all get through this. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't still scared to death of everything going on around us. I was just trying to distract myself by continuing to work. Helping fix up the people who were injured in the blast was helping me keep my mind off of what was going on in a room a few feet away where they were working on Severide. It was also helping distract me from the fact that we could all very well die today. If whatever this lunatic had in his system was contagious who knew how long we all had. The thought of never meeting our baby at the forefront of my mind… another one of the many thoughts I was desperately trying to shake off and remain strong.

I give Hermann a reassuring smile and can only nod my head, my fight about the situation gone. My eyes meet Matt's from across the room and he gives me another worried look. I throw a comforting smile his way as well before directing my attention back to Hermann. "Any news on Severide yet?" I ask.

He shakes his head sullenly and I nod dejectedly, giving him a pat on the shoulder as we parted ways.

Sending a silent prayer up to Shay to look after him and to let him be okay, something I'd found myself doing a few times already today.

It is a couple hours later when the feeling of nausea hits me so hard making me feel dizzy. I lean up against the wall and take a few deep breaths hoping it will pass. It doesn't, and a few seconds later I'm hunched over in the corner heaving and emptying the contents of my stomach. Matt, Otis, and Hermann all at my side in seconds.

I lean back up against the wall and take a few breaths, pushing the guys away a bit. "I'm fine."

"Gabs." Matt tries to interject.

"I'm fine, Matt. It's just normal sickness… I didn't get to take my medicine this morning."

He gives me a look and I send him a light glare, cutting off what I knew was going to be an argument. "I usually take them with my breakfast, and we never got a change to eat this morning… Hence, no medicine." I defend.

Matt heaves a sigh, and the rest of the guys look at me worriedly before Hermann interject. "Okay… There isn't anything we can do about that now, but you haven't eaten all day so take it easy. The last thing we need is a repeat of a couple weeks ago." He says, giving me a pointed look and I nod, agreeing with him completely. I didn't want that either and I knew Matt felt the same.

_**Casey**_

Apparently there was just something about 51 and explosions. After experiencing 3 now in little over a year you'd think we would be prepared for them. We weren't. Each one rocked us a little more than the last. Chicago Med bombing, fearing I was going to lose Gabby. So many others losing their lives, many other people severally injured. The warehouse explosion. Losing Shay. Everyone in the house losing a piece of themselves with that loss. And here we are at the Chicago Med explosion number 2. Gabby pregnant and all of us worrying. Severide fighting for his life. All of us having the possibility of losing our own lives depending on what this guy had in his system.

I was starting to feel like our house was doomed.

One bad event after another. One devastating loss after another. A never ending cycle.

We'd just finished putting out the electrically fire in the ceiling an hour ago and the smoke was starting to clear a little bit. People were starting to get restless. Hungry, thirsty, scared, tired.

Some of the main feelings in this hectic ER. The majority of everyone's wounds had been tended too. We'd been in the ER for over 7 hours now. Everyone was ready to get out, but we were still waiting on news. Any news at that point was better than wondering.

My worry for Severide had begun to reach its high as we all waited for news on the Lieutenant that we all loved. I owed Severide a lot. He'd saved my life more times than I could count on calls. He'd helped me through a lot. Being there after I lost Hallie. Always supporting my decisions. He was one of Gabby and I's biggest supporters in the beginning, still was now. He was a big brother to Gabby, and a brother to me. Kelly was our roommate, he was our coworker, but most importantly he was our friend. Our best friend. We both loved him. I wasn't sure what either of us would do without him. How, and if we would move on.

I tried erasing that thought from my head as I sent what had to have been the tenth silent prayer of the day up to Shay. Asking her to look after Severide, to make sure he came back to us. To look after all of us of 51, to let us all get out of here alright, and to look after Gabby and our baby. To make sure the two of them were safe.

I catch sight of Gabby sitting in a chair a few feet away, an unreadable expression on her face. Ever since she had been sick she'd taken a step back, although she hadn't completely sat down and rested like I'd hoped she would, she'd been taking it easier and had been taking more breaks, which I was thankful for. I knew I couldn't expect her to completely stop working, it wasn't in her nature to sit back and do nothing, but the expression on her face has sent me for a loop and I make my way over to her, crouching down in front of her and resting my hands on her knees.

"Hey." Her eyes snap to mine and I see the tears swimming there. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head, bringing her lip between her teeth. "Somethings wrong…" She mummers her hand running over her stomach where she had unbuckled her turn out coat. "Something doesn't feel right… I… I don't know." She says worriedly, the tears threatening to fall.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down my racing heart at her words. "Okay… Okay." I repeat. I spot April Sexton walking by and quickly call her over giving Gabby's hand a reassuring squeeze, trying to calm the both of us down.

"What's going on?" She questions, kneeling down in front of the both of us.

Gabby shakes her head, a tear escaping at that action. "I don't, I don't know… Somethings not right… Something feels not right." She cries softly. The stress of the day and the stress of what could be happening to the baby breaking through her tough exterior.

April nods and carefully lifts Gabby's shirt. "Let me just have a listen." She smiles politely and Gabby whimpers at the cold contact of the stethoscope touches her now bare stomach. "How far along are you?"

"About 17 weeks." Gabby says softly, looking at April with worry as she moved the stethoscope around. "Something's not right, right?" She whimpered and I squeezed her hand, trying to calm down her nervous and scared state.

April moves the stethoscope around for a moment longer before a smile comes to her face and she squeezes Gabby's hand. "Oh honey, there is nothing wrong. Your baby's moving." She whispers.

"What?" Gabby breathes out, confused.

April gives us both a reassuring smile. "It's okay. The baby's just fine, normal heartrate as far as I can tell. It's just moving around, Dear. Nothing to worry about." She reassures and I watch Gabby's body slack with relief as her hand comes to rest on her stomach now.

My hand follows as I feel the relief wash over me, planting a kiss to the side of her head. "Thank God."

When I feel nothing under my hand after a few moments I look to April questioningly, and she gives me another reassuring smile. "Don't worry, it's a little too early to feel from the outside, give it a few weeks. For right now just Momma is going to be able to feel him or her moving around." She flashes us both a grin as she moves away and after Gabby has fixed her shirt I pull her into my arms and give her a tight hug, thankful for her and the life we had created.

"Hey guys, its Severide." Capp calls and Gabby and I are both on our feet in an instant, looking through the glass door as they try to stabilize Severide. Gabby gasps as the monitor drop and we all watch with bated breaths as we wait for them to bring Severide back.

"Come on, come on, Sev." I whisper. 51 couldn't lose another, I couldn't lose another.

The monitor regulates and Mills and Brett throw us a thumbs up from the other side and we are all taking in a relieved breath as Severide is stabilized and closed up from his surgery.

Hermann walks out of one of the rooms with an unreadable expression on his face. "Hermann?" I question him.

He meets my eyes and a small smile breaks out. "Not contagious."

"What?" I breathe out.

"Not contagious! We're all gonna be fine Lieutenant."

Cheers sound throughout the ER and I tip my head. _Thank you, Shay_, I whisper above, before joining in with the rest of the celebration. The doors are opened and people begin to file out. I bring Gabby into my side and hold her close as we leave, never more thankful to have her safe and out of the hell we'd been trapped in.

_**Dawson**_

I'd never been more grateful for my own bed, or Matt's warm embrace. After getting back to the house we were all given the rest of the shift off to recuperate and after spending a little time with Kelly we headed home for some much needed rest. We'd ate and both showered, separately, before crawling into bed, and pulling each other close.

The tension from this morning vanished after the hectic events of the day. This morning felt like a whole another life time ago. Matt squeezes me a little tighter, he was already holding on to me for dear life, and I just snuggle deeper into his embrace. We both know how much worst today could have gone. We both know it, but neither of us says anything, we just hold each other close and try to let the rest of the day fade away.

Matt lets out a rather loud sigh and I smirk into his chest where my head had been resting. "What are you thinking about?" I whisper softly.

He lets out a little chuckle. "Honestly?"

I nod into his chest and he continues. "I'm thinking of locking you and this baby in this apartment for the rest of my life."

I laugh and lightly slap his arm. "Matt." I laugh.

He laughs as well before holding me a little closer, his voice turning serious. "I'm serious… I keep almost losing you, both of you…" I take a breath at his words, knowing just how true they were. "I'm not ready for that yet, I don't think I ever will be." He murmurs, his lips meeting the top of my head.

I hold him a little tighter and place a kiss over his heart, noticing when it picks up and he takes in a deep breath at the action. "I'm not going anywhere." I tell him softly. "We're not ready to leave you yet either."

He takes another deep breath. "I don't know what I would've done today… if you, or the baby… God, I…" He stops and I know what he's trying to say, the words just too hard to get out.

I look up at him then, there are tears shining in his eyes that he hadn't let fall all day and it makes me feel the salty water stinging in my own eyes. I bring my hand up to caress his cheek and he leans into the touch. "You'll never have to worry about that." I promise. I know it's an empty promise, neither of us can guarantee tomorrow, but the words still seem to sooth him.

I lean up and my lips brush against his softly, the simple lip to lip touch erupting goose bumps on my skin and making me feel a billion different things. It only lasts a few seconds and when I pull away Matt's blue eyes meet mine and he breathes out my name in question.

I shake my head, stopping what I was sure would be a line of questions. Now wasn't the time. "I just really needed that after today." I whisper, giving him a soft smile. Matt nods understandingly and his soft smile matches my own.

"Okay." He whispers simply and I snuggle back into his strong arms. Our hands fall together over my stomach and Matt kisses the top of my head again and I hear him whisper another, "Okay." He pulls me closer and we both fall asleep in each other's arms peacefully after a crazy day. I can still feel the flutter of the baby moving and the butterflies in my stomach from having his lips on mine, even in such a chaste kiss. Nothing more needed to be said.

That line between friendship and something more blurring once again.

**Thanks for reading! **

**Next one will be up this week.**

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**xXx**


	12. We Switched Places

**A/N: Let me just apologize in advance for this chapter. My muse got carried away and there is a scene between Severide and Dawson in here that is long overdue on the show and I could not let it go. The chapter kind of focuses around that because I'm still a little frustrated that it was never touched on again in the show.**

**Thank you all for the support on this story and all the amazing reviews that make my day!**

_Disclaimer: I own nothing, except for little baby Casey. Baby is all mine._

_**Severide**_

Watching Dawson and Casey beat around the bush and try to act like all they wanted was to be 'just friends' was hilarious, and insanely frustrating all in one.

I'd gotten out of the hospital a week ago, after only spending three days there and then being released into Dawson and Casey's care… Well mostly Dawson's care. Casey had to go back to work, and Dawson was barely aloud to leave the house with Casey's watchful and worried eyes on her. In his defense, he had a reason to worry.

In Gabby's defense, Casey was a little overboard in his worrying.

The two were giving me anxiety with the back and forth act they were playing. It was so clear they wanted to be together, but neither was willing to just admit it and jump in. The both of them too worried about each other and what they thought the other wanted. Both of them to worried about screwing it up again and their baby having to deal with the consequences of their actions. It made them amazing parents, it also made them pretty stupid if you were to ask me. They were the only two who were worried about it not working out again. I had faith in them to make it work. They just needed to have a little faith in themselves.

Dawson walked into the living room after a shower, sporting a pair of yoga pants and one of Casey's shirts. A look she'd become fond of the past few weeks I'd noticed. She's carrying a wrap and the ointment that she needed to clean my wounds and I heave a sigh as I sit up from the couch so she could plop down beside me.

"Oh don't pout, it's not a good look on you." She jokes, sending me a wink.

I laugh as I sit on the edge of the couch, giving her room to move behind me and clean the wounds on my back and side. "I've been told it's a pretty great look on me." I laugh sending her a wink back.

She snorts with laughter, before taking off my old bandages. "You're so full of it." She mumbles.

Dawson was a beautiful woman, I could never deny her that, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't made some comments on her looks over the years, some she probably wouldn't appreciate. Casey definitely wouldn't appreciate. And now, while it was still undeniable that she was beautiful, I knew that we would never be more than friends. She was like a little sister to me, and any feelings held for her were strictly platonic. I knew the same went for her. The girl was head over heels for Casey and had been for years.

I also knew that I wasn't the ugliest guy in the world, though I knew Dawson would never admit it. I'd heard her and Shay joke about it in the earlier days of Shay joining 51. Dawson telling her there was something in the water at 51 that brought the two good looking Lieutenant in. I'd teased Shay about it, but never Dawson.

But now having her clean my wounds while I was shirtless, I decided it was time to have some fun with her, our friendship at the point of this kind of teasing, and maybe the teasing would get her to admit those feelings she was trying to hide for Casey.

"Oh Dawson, you know you want me." I joked, looking back at her over my shoulder as she cleaned the wound on my side.

She snorts once again, not taking her eyes off the wound. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Kelly."

I laugh at her deflection. "You know Shay was never against telling me some of your guy's conversations right?" I laugh lightly.

She quirks her brow as she applies the ointment to my wound. "Oh yeah?"

She's showing no interest in my words, too focused on the task at hand and I know it's time for the kill. "Yeah. Shay told me you thought I was hot." Her eyes snap up too mine and I laugh at the expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" She asks, her voice full of the sass I'd grown use too, especially since living with her.

I laugh loudly before quoting the words Shay had said to me so many years ago about Dawson's comment on the two good looking Lieutenants.

Her face goes from shock to horror and her cheeks blush red as she places the bandage over the clean wound and moves away from me. "You're such an ass." She grumbles as she moves from the couch and down the hall to put the medical supplies away, my laughter floating through the apartment at her reaction.

"Oh come on Gabs, you love me."

She walks back into the living room and makes her way to grab both of our pills, swallowing hers before bringing mine too me. "That's debatable." She quips.

I continue to laugh, placing a hand over my heart. "Your words wound me, Dawson."

She shakes her head at me and plops down on the couch beside me. "You're lucky you're already injured. You're on pretty thin ice." She warns, not amused with my jokes.

"Okay so maybe you don't love me." I joke and she smirks in reply, too busy focusing on finding the channel on TV that she was looking for. "But when are you going to tell him that you love him?"

Her eyes snap to mine and she takes a deep breath. I raise my brow at her, waiting for a reply. She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "Kelly…" She says in a warning tone.

"Oh come one Gabs, when are you two going to stop kidding yourselves? You've been here almost a month and neither of you has tried once for something more."

I watch her bring her lip into her mouth and she won't meet my eyes, instantly taking my interest. "Have either of you tried more?" I ask cautiously.

"I uh… I kissed him last week, after the Chicago Med incident." She whispers softly.

"And?" I ask excitedly. When all you've done for a week and a half is hang out in the apartment, living vicariously through your friend's love life is about all you have to do… I was starting to sound like a woman. I realize. I blame it on all the time spent with Gabby this week watching chick flicks.

She shrugs, finally meeting my eyes. "We feel asleep. Then we came to see you the next morning, and I don't know. It was just never brought up again."

"Gabs…" I admonish.

"Don't scold me." She laughs. "Casey and I agreed to be just friends. It was just the stress of the day that took over…"

I scuff at her and roll my eyes, the look she gives me after lets me know she doesn't appreciate those actions. "Don't even try telling me it was stress, or some bull crap about it not meaning anything because we both know you two love each other. So why don't you just go for it?"

She gives me a look before shaking her head. "God, I feel like I'm talking to Shay right now." She mumbles, a faraway look in her eyes as she thinks of the friend we both lost.

"Yeah, I uh, I've been thinking about her a lot lately… Since the Med explosion…" I whisper, the playful mood in the room now shifting at the mention of the blonde woman we both loved.

Dawson's eyes meet mine briefly before she looks away again, her fingers moving up to finger the necklace resting on her neck. "Yeah… me too…"

We're silent for a moment, both of too consumed in the thoughts of our blonde friend. I decide to drop the Casey topic for now, but there was something else on my mind that I hadn't been able to let go of for months now.

"Hey Gabs?" She looks at me and urges me on. "That day, in the building that… when we went back too, uh look for evidence…" Her eyes close and she nods her head, letting me know that she knew what I was talking about. "You said that you just wanted her to know she could do it on her own…" Tears well in her eyes immediately and she nods softly looking away from me again. "…that, that was why you changed places…What did you mean by that?" I ask her softly.

"Kelly…" She mummers, shaking her head.

I give her a look, the broken expression on her face speaking volumes and making me worried "Gabs, come on…" I say encouragingly.

She meets my eyes again and I watch the tears cascade down her cheeks before she closes her eyes again, taking a shaky breath. "We… we traded places. Right before the blast… I made her switch with me…" A sob escapes her and I grab her hand, squeezing it in mine as I feel my own tears well in my eyes. "I wanted her to be able to do it on her own… when I was gone, so we switched… I made her switch." She sobs, "And she, she was where I was supposed to be… when the beam came down." She cries and I pull her into my arms immediately. Not caring about the pain in my side as she falls against my bandaged wound. Not caring as her salty tears soak my shoulder. She clutches on to me as the tears cloud her vision and the sobs escape her throat, I feel my own tears fall down my cheeks as I hold her close, shocked by her confession.

"I'm sorry Kelly… I'm so sorry…" She cries and I shake my head. She had nothing to be sorry for.

"Gabs…" I murmur, but her next words cut me off and break my heart.

"It should've been me… it was supposed to be me…" She cries and I feel like the air has been knocked out of me at that admission.

I knew than that Gabby had been holding this in for months. She'd been living with this and none of us knew the pain she'd been going through. The guilt she'd been feeling and trying to hide from us all.

I don't bother wiping the tears from my eyes as I force Gabby to sit up, the tears still cascading down her own cheeks. "Don't talk like that. Okay? It's not your fault. Shay wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want you blaming yourself."

Gabby shakes her head vehemently. "It should've been me Kelly, Shay should still be here." She cries and I swear my heart breaks for this girl all over again.

"Gabby if Shay had to go back, knowing what she knows now… Knowing she would lose her life, she'd do it all over again if it meant you'd be safe. You and I both know that." I try to convince her. "Shay loved you so much Gabs. She'd want you to be safe… She'd want you to move past this and stop blaming yourself." I tell her, brushing the hair out of her face as we face each other on the couch, her tears still falling heavily down her red cheeks.

She shakes her head and won't meet my eyes. Her grief taking hold of her. "Shay should still be alive… I, I shouldn't be here…" She whispers.

"How can you say that? Gabby we all love Shay, but we love _you_ too. How can you say you shouldn't be here? What about Casey? Gabby if he lost you that day he'd be a mess… Hell he probably wouldn't even be here!"

"Kelly…" She breathes out, trying to stop my rant, but I knew it was something she needed to hear so I continue.

"What about your brother? Antonio would be lost without you. And his kids. Your parents? The rest of your family. What about all of 51. Chief. Hermann, Otis. What about them?"

She shakes her head cutting me off. "But you'd all still have Shay." She cries.

I nod, she had me there, and God did I miss Shay, we all did, but there was something Gabby wasn't seeing in all this. "Yeah, but then we wouldn't have you." I whisper.

Her eyes snap to mine and she lets out another sob as she takes in my words. "We'd have Shay, but we wouldn't have you. And if we didn't have you we wouldn't have Casey. And if we did, he'd never be the same again. Shay would be a wreck without you. You know what losing Darryl on that call did to her? Can you imagine if she lost you Gabs? You meant the world to her. And what about me? I'd be pretty lost without you too." I tell her, and she shakes her head and I know she is going to cut me off with something about me having Shay instead of her. While Shay and I were closer, it still doesn't mean I'd ever trade either of their lives for the other. What was done was done and no one could take it back. We all have our own paths to follow and unfortunately Shay's ended in that building, and in the process, in a roundabout way she saved Gabby's life. I knew Shay would never want that back. "Gabby what about this baby?" I whisper, letting my hand rest on her stomach and hers follows to rest on the bump as well, another cry escaping her trembling lips. "If you weren't here, if you never switched places, this baby wouldn't be here… and there isn't a one of us who wants to imagine that. So stop blaming yourself. Shay wouldn't want you too. She'd want you happy and she'd want you here to take care of that baby." I pull her into my arms and I can feel her relaxing a bit, the tears still in her eyes, but the sobs subsiding as she takes in all of my words, so I decide to say my next words cautiously. "And she'd want you to be happy, with Casey."

She laughs softly and shakes her head against my chest. "Nice touch… Shay would've wanted you to say that." She whispers with a sad smile.

I nod my head. "Yeah she would have." I confirm. Shay was always their biggest supporter, always Gabby's biggest supporter with whatever she did.

We sit like that for nearly an hour. Calming down and watching the TV show Gabby had put on before our conversation. She walks to the bathroom to clean herself up and I take a deep breath while she's gone. How had we all not seen the signs? How had we let her suffer through this for so long on her own?

When she takes a seat next to me again I'm silent for a few moments before finally asking her. "Does Casey know?" She shakes her head, 'no'. "Does anyone know?" I ask her cautiously.

"You." She whispers. "And Chaplain."

I nod my head, but say nothing more. I knew she was already exhausted from our conversation and I didn't want to push her anymore. I put my arm over the back of the couch and Gabby falls asleep a while later with her head in my lap and the blanket tucked around her.

I knew I needed to talk to Casey. Gabby had been carrying a heavy weight with her for too long and I knew that our conversation about it had helped, but other than the blonde that we had lost, there was one other blonde that could truly help her see the light and get past this.

_**Casey**_

Shift had been a rough one. We were hammered with calls and barely got any rest from the minute we stepped into the house. We were short a member of Truck with Gabby on official maternity leave and Squad was short without Severide. Chief was working on finding replacements without making either permanent, knowing that both members of our family would want to return to their house. After the crazy 24 hours the only thing I wanted was a hot shower and to crawl into bed with my girl and sleep the day away.

I try to shake the thought of _my girl_, but I can't. Gabby was my girl whether we were together or not right now. The kiss and the few words we'd shared a week ago only confirming it. We hadn't spoken of the kiss, and I didn't really expect us too at this point. Life had just gotten in the way once again, something that seemed to happen a lot when it came to us.

Walking into the apartment at 8a.m. I don't expect to find Severide already up sitting at the island nursing a cup of coffee.

I sat my bag down on the table and grab a cup of the black liquid before taking a seat across from him. "You're up early?" I question.

He runs a hand over his face and looks into the cup in front of him. "Didn't get much sleep." He mumbles.

I raise my brow. "Everything alright?" I question warily.

I watch Kelly sigh heavily before looking down the hall and back at me. "You ever talk to Gabby much about what happened that day in… when we… when Shay died?" He stutters and I take a deep breath when thoughts of that day fill my mind. I'd been thinking about that day and Shay a lot over the last week since the Chicago Med incident.

I shake my head. "No, I mean we talked a little about it all… but Gabby was just too upset about everything, she never really opened up much about it. It was all hard for her." I murmur, thinking of the weeks following Shay's death and how much Gabby had shut down in that time. I get lost in those thoughts for a moment before realizing Severide's faraway look.

"Is everything okay, Kel?" I question warily, not seeing this side of Severide often.

He sighs, and won't meet my eyes. "They switched places." He says so softly I have to crane my neck to hear him, but when I do I'm slightly confused. Who switched places? Kelly must notice my confused state and he slowly continues. "Shay and Dawson. That day, in the building, before the explosion… They switched places…"

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. They switched places. They switched before the explosion. So many things were making sense, but so many things were still making no sense at all.

"She just told me yesterday… She, God, Case. Gabby's been carrying this around for nearly a year…" He says softly, the words leaving his mouth almost seeming foreign to him.

I sigh as I rest my head in my hands. Why had she never told me? How did I not see the signs? She was so angry, and lost after losing Shay. She tried hiding her feelings most days, but I could see she wasn't doing well, that she was blaming herself. I had chopped it up to being survivor's guilt. I'd felt the same after losing Andy, I figured that was all it was… How wrong I had been.

I can't find words to even reply. The guilt eating at me for not realizing. How had I let Gabby deal with that all on her own for so long? How could I not see it was more?

"She's blaming herself… still." He says, meeting my eyes and bringing me out of my thoughts. "She asked Shay to switch with her, she wanted her to be able to do it on her own when she left for Austin. So Shay switched… and she was where Gabby had been, when the beam came down…" Severide clears the lump from his throat and I find myself doing the same at his words. "Gabby thinks it should've been her… that she shouldn't be here."

I shake my head. "How…" I trail off. How can she say that? Doesn't she know how much we all love her? I loved Shay dearly, and I missed her every day, but the thought of losing Gabby… I couldn't even imagine it. My world without Gabby in it didn't even seem like a possibility. I never wanted to have to think of that.

Kelly shakes his head, understanding my unasked question. "I don't know man. She was really upset yesterday when we were talking about it. She thinks it's her fault Shay is gone… I tried to convince her Shay would want her safe, to let this go, but she… I've never seen her so lost and upset."

I nod my head, taking in Kelly's words. He rests his head in his hands and heaves a sigh and I know his conversation with Gabby yesterday must have really thrown him for a loop. This conversation was definitely throwing me for one, I could only imagine what it had felt like to hear the words coming from Gabby's mouth. I shake my head and stand from the stool. "I gotta talk to Gabby." I mutter.

Kelly nods his head and I stop before leaving. "Thank you." I tell him. I know he'd taken care of Gabby yesterday just as much as she had taken care of him. I'd never been more grateful to have Severide living with us and for the friendship he and Gabby had developed. "Get some sleep, Sev."

He nods and I hear him dump his coffee and his bedroom door close as I make my way into our bedroom. My eyes fall to Gabby immediately. She's curled up on the bed and I can tell she is in a restless sleep by the look on her face. I'd been sleeping with Gabriella Dawson long enough to recognize the look of a bad dream on her face.

I change out of my work clothes and pull on a pair of pajama pants. Taking my time and trying to prepare myself for the conversation I knew we needed to have. Gabby had been carrying this heavy weight around for too long and I wouldn't let her continue to blame herself.

I crawl into my side of the bed and watch Gabby for a moment, her face was scrunched up in distaste and when a little whimper leaves her lips I know I can't leave her in this dreamland any longer.

I pull her close and kiss her forehead before whispering her name. Her eyes fly open to meet mine and it takes her a moment to realize her surroundings. I tuck the hair behind her ear and let my hand rest on her cheek. "Hey, it was just a dream… you're okay now."

She nods her head as she takes a few moments and when she has calmed down I watch her take me in. I was watching her closely, trying to think of how to start this conversation. I don't notice just how closely she is watching me back until her eyes close slowly and her words leave her mouth in a shallow breath. "He told you…"

I nod softly, taking a moment before replying when I realize she isn't going to say anymore. "I wish you would have." I tell her delicately.

Her eyes meet mine and they are already filling with tears as she bites her lip before replying. "I know, I know… I wanted too, so many times…"

"Why didn't you?" I ask her gently, not wanting to push her, but also wanting to know what was going on inside her head.

She shakes her head. "I couldn't… it was just all so hard… and I, I didn't want you guys to all blame me too…" She whispers, her tears spilling over and I feel my heart clench at her words.

"Gabs… No one will ever blame you for this. Okay?" I take a deep breath trying to compose myself. "None of the guys will blame you. Kelly doesn't blame you, I don't blame you… and Shay would never blame you for this Gabby."

A sob escapes her lips as she nods tearfully and I pull her into my arms and hold her tight against my chest. "I'm sorry…" She cries softly and I shake my head, but choose to ignore those words as I go on.

"Do you have any idea how proud of you Shay would be right now? Gabby you became a kick ass firefighter, Shay was your biggest supporter on that. She believed in you, and you did it. She'd be so proud… She'd be so happy for you. For your job, and for this baby… Shay loved you so much Gabs. She'd be so happy if she could see you now. You're going to be a mom, and Shay would be _so_ happy about that. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself. She would want you to move on and be happy." I let my hand run through her hair as I cradle her too my chest and feel her tears hitting my chest as she clutches on to me. "If Shay had went into that building knowing what she knew now, she would switch with you in a heartbeat, because that's just who Shay was. She'd want you to be safe, you and I both know that Gabby. So you've got to quit blaming yourself… This isn't your fault, not at all." I whisper, let my lips graze across her forehead.

She nods gently and I feel the movement against me chest and chin. "Okay." She says tearfully, her voice quite. "Okay."

I take a deep breath. I knew between Kelly and I's words, and just the sole fact of getting that weight off her chest that she had to have been feeling better, but I can tell by the tone in her voice and the hesitant look in her eyes that she was still holding some blame.

"You got justice for Shay, Gabs. You and Kelly. You fought tooth and nail to make sure she would get justice and that the monster that did all of it would be captured. You did that. You did that for her, and I'm positive she is so grateful to the both of you for that. You never gave up, and you did it. You got him." I try not to think about how Gabby almost lost her life doing it, but it creeps into my mind and I try my hardest to push that and all the other scatter of emotions I was feeling away. This wasn't about me, this was about Gabby. She needed me to be strong for her right now and that's what I was going to do.

"I just feel like…" She takes a shaky breath and I squeeze her to me tighter, trying to comfort her and encourage her to go on. "Like there is this weight in my chest, where Shay should be… and I just… I was her best friend, I was her lead, her PIC, I should've taken better care of her… I shouldn't have made her switch and have pushed her… If I wouldn't have made her she would still be here… I think about it every day… I just can't let that go…" She cries softly, the grief she'd been holding onto for so long finally coming out.

I take a shaky breath. "Gabby you can't think like that… Shay would want you to live. Really live, not just go through the motions being held down by this. You can't think about the what-ifs because all they are going to do it hold you back and tie you down to that day. We'll always hold it with us, but you shouldn't look back on it and feel guilty. Shay would do it all again if she had to because it would mean you were safe."

She sniffles as she nods again. "I know, I know… deep down I know all that. It's just _really_ hard… I miss her _so_ _much_, Matt…" She cries softly and I hold her impossibly close, feeling my own tears in my eyes as I think of the blonde that we'd lost. That I'd considered a best friend. And I think of the girl in my arms and all the grief she'd had to deal with alone. That weight on her chest that she had talked about, she'd dealt with it alone. I didn't know if I'd ever be able to let that go.

I'm so stuck on those thoughts that I barely realize Gabby has moved until her chest is half pressed to mine and her hands are on my chest and cheek. Her tearful face looking at mine. "Don't…" She whispers.

I look at her perplexed. "I know you… Don't try taking blame for this. It's not your fault I never told you…"

"Gabs…" I try cutting her off. I forgot just how well this girl could read me. This wasn't about me, I didn't want her comforting me, I was supposed to be comforting her.

"You tried your best to be there for me when I was distant Matt, don't blame yourself, please." She whispers, and I nod gently, pulling her head down and kissing her cheek as she buries her head in my neck and we both wrap our arms around each other, taking in the other comforting words and warm embrace. Clinging to each other like we were the others lifelines, and I guess in many ways we kind of were.

_**Dawson**_

I walk into the apartment with a smile planted on my face. The previous days had been rough ones after confessing the secret I'd held for nearly a year from Matt and Kelly. They'd both been attentive to me, and I really loved them for it, but I was honestly feeling better. Their comforting words making me see the light and the feeling of getting that heavy weight off my chest making me feel better than I'd ever thought. I hadn't realized just how weighed down I still was by that day. I'd thought it was just the normal grief that I had been feeling, but after telling them both the truth about that day I knew I had still been holding that guilt. I'd always miss Shay, and truthfully I'd probably always feel a little guilt. Who wouldn't? But I knew Shay would want me to move on and be happy and live my life. I had a lot of great things in my life to live for and I knew Shay would want me to live this life fully. She'd want me to let go of that weight and I was going to try my hardest to do so. With Matt and even Kelly at my side, it felt a little easier to do so.

I think of the ultrasound pictures in my purse as I make my way into the kitchen and I feel my smile widen. I had my 20 week check up this morning. Matt had had to miss it and I was disappointed by that, but I still couldn't shake my happiness after seeing our little baby on the screen. Matt had been called out to a fire right before shift ended and I knew he would be pissed for missing such big news at the appointment, but I knew he would be happy with the news once he got home.

I spot Kelly sitting at the kitchen counter and flash him a big smile as I go to the fridge and grab some apple juice before jumping up to the stool next to him. "Hey." I chirp and he looks at me questioningly and I simply shrug and snatch the crossword from the newspaper he was reading.

"Where's Casey?"

I sigh. "Got a fire call right before shit ended. They were still at it when my appointment started so he had to miss it… High rise fire."

Kelly nods understandingly. "Sorry Gabs."

I shrug. I understood why Matt couldn't make it, we were in the same line of work after all. I was a little disappointed, but I couldn't fault Matt at all. "It's alright."

"So how'd it go?" He questions with a grin that I quickly match.

"Good." I say simply, trying to downplay it all. I really didn't want to tell Kelly the news before Matt had even heard it himself.

He quirks a brow and sends me his signature smirk. "That's all you're giving me?" He asks.

I laugh. "Uh hu." Looking down at my stomach I ignore Kelly. "Right baby? Uncle Kelly doesn't get to know anything until Daddy does."

He playfully glares at me and rolls his eyes as he sticks his tongue out at me and I laugh at his childish action. We're both silent for a while before Kelly turns to me with a serious expression.

"I'm sorry, for telling Casey about everything before you could." I smile softly at him, it would never cease to amaze me at how far Kelly Severide had come in the past few years.

I shrug. "It's okay, Kel."

"I know I just… I feel bad for that and a lot of things I guess. I knew how hard it was to lose Shay, we were her two best friends and I guess… I feel like I should've checked in on you more. I was just to consumed in all of it myself at the time, but it doesn't mean I couldn't have asked you how you were doing too."

I smile at him once again. "What's with you Lieutenants and thinking you can save the whole world, huh?" I joke softly, nudging his shoulder with my own. "I'm fine Kel. It's fine. You were dealing with your own stuff. We all were. It's not like I really asked for the help anyways, I kind of pushed you all away a bit, and I am sorry for that. But don't blame yourself. You couldn't have saved me from it all. I love you for thinking you could've, but I think I needed the time as well. It's not your fault." I assure him.

He smiles as he wraps an arm around me from his stool beside me. The door opens and Matt walks in already spitting out apologies.

"Gabs, I'm so sorry. I…"

I don't even let him finish and I have barely untucked myself from Kelly's side before the words are leaving my mouth excitedly. "It's a boy!"

Kelly's mouth spreads into a wide grin and Matt freezes in his spot and his mouth drops open as I stand from my place.

"It's a boy?" He whispers, the look of confusion and amazement on his face enough for me to fall in love with him all over again, and I nod my head hurriedly.

"We're gonna have a son." I smirk, feeling the happy tears in my eyes, finally saying the words out loud that I'd just found out an hour ago.

Matt crosses the room in seconds and wraps his arms around me, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around as a happy sound leaves my mouth and I can hear his own watery chuckle in my ear as he holds me close and I smile into his shoulder.

Once he releases me Kelly is pulling me into his arms whispering a 'congrats' and then pulling Matt into a manly hug. "Congrats, Daddy, looks like I am gonna have another man to add to my Squad." He jokes lightly, though we all knew we were in for many years of the Truck vs. Squad debacle.

It hits me just how much I miss Shay in that moment as I watch Matt and Kelly bond over this news. She lived for big news like this. Her vibrant smile and laughter and loud voice from her excitement. I could almost picture it in my head and it brings a smile to my lips. Shay would have loved all of this. She would've loved this baby like no other.

Matt pulls me into his arms once again and whispers his excitement about having a son in my ear, words only meant for me to hear and I blush. I was just as excited. A little boy that looked just like his Daddy.

Kelly jokingly walks up behind us and they are both encasing me in a bear hug and I laugh loudly.

My three boys.

Matt, Kelly, and our baby.

I really did have so much to live for, and I knew Shay was looking down at this scene with her own smile.

Always looking out for us, all four of us.

**I know, I know. Shay talk is enough to reduce most to tears, and so if it did I am sorry for the attack, but I've always wondered if Sev ever really knew what Dawson meant by the 'I just wanted her to know she could do it on her own…' speech. We never got much of an explanation and it's always bothered me. Especially not knowing if Casey knows how it all went down in the building that day. I hope one day the show will touch on that for us, but for now, it is resolved for me in this story and I hope I did it justice for any of those that felt the same as I did. **

**It's a BOY! By popular demand from the little 'poll' I took in the reviews a few chapters ago. Boy beat girl. Which will be fun to write since one reviewer did point out most stories have them having a girl. It'll be fun to write them having a little boy. **

**Thanks for reading, and please leave me a review to let me know what you thought!**

**Review!**

**XxXx**


	13. Oh Hormones

**A/N: Sorry for the wait on this one! Kind of hit a little bump in writing and have had a lot going on personally. Writing happy baby fluff has been hard to do right now, but I am forging through and have finally got a bit of my mojo back for this story. This chapter is one big fluff fest to make up for the wait, but the next one will move the storyline along some more. **

**Thanks for the review on the last chapter and all the encouragement for this story! I don't plan on leaving this (or any of my CF stories) anytime soon! Just be patient with me and I promise to keep updating as regularly as I can. I try to write long chapters so they take a bit to get out, keep that in mind. **

**Who is ready for the CF Season Finale on Tuesday? (Not me!) I'm not ready for a 3-4 month break full of anxiety wondering what is going to happen. Should be an interesting episode, and though I'm nowhere near ready for the break, I am so excited to see it and see what happens to Dawsey! We've waited way too long for those two.**

**Enjoy!**

_**Casey**_

Walking into our bedroom it looks like the closet blew up. Clothes are strewn across the floor. Jeans and shirts threw across the bed and hanging off of lamps and nightstands.

I hear a grumble from inside the closet and step into the room cautiously.

"Gabs?"

There isn't a response and I hear some more grumbling before hearing a very distinct, "Damn it!" being hollered and another choice four letter curse being muttered.

Oh hormones, got to love them.

She steps out of the closet and doesn't acknowledge me, but I definitely acknowledge her. She's clad in nothing more than a matching bra and panty set and I'm positive she is trying to kill me.

It's the only explanation for her to be wearing this attire and I feel my mouth go dry.

She half-hazardly throws the pair of jeans she has in her hand across the room with a growl and plops down on the end of the bed with a huff. "None of my clothes fit me anymore!" She growls furiously.

I try to hide my smirk. I knew this day would be coming eventually. Gabby was well into her 5th month of pregnancy and her baby bump was really starting to form and she was starting to fill out. Her breasts had nearly doubled in size, -of course I'd noticed, and her bottom had grown as well. But if you asked me that was the only things that had changed about her body, and they were all great things.

If you asked Gabby her legs were huge, her boobs hurt and were too big, she was positive all the food went straight to her ass, and she was sure she had grown a double chin. She was wrong, but she would still argue it.

The truth was Gabby had nearly a perfect pregnancy body, you couldn't even tell she was pregnant if you were behind her. When in front of her, her baby bump was noticeable and adorable, but not huge. She was beautiful, and while I may be biased, she had never looked better. Pregnancy suited her well. Hormones, not so much.

I cautiously move and take a seat next to her on the bed, trying to hide the feelings coursing through me at her lack of clothing. It was the first time in months I'd seen her like this and I was painfully aware of it.

"Gabs you're pregnant, it's natural for your clothes not to fit now," I say gently, not wanting to say anything that would cause her anger to be directed at me.

"I'm getting fat." She pouts adorable, looking down at her hands that she had twiddled together, not meeting my eyes.

"Gabs, you're not fat at all. You're pregnant. You have the perfect pregnancy body, you heard Cindy the other day." I laugh lightly. Gabby and Cindy had happened to cross paths the other day in the grocery store and Cindy Hermann had almost glared at Gabby when she complained of the growth of her body. Cindy had scolded her like a child, telling her to be grateful for the way her body was looking. That she would kill to have looked that way with any of her children. Gabby blushes lightly at my words and I smile in accomplishment. "You're beautiful Gabs, pregnancy looks amazing on you. And in three and a half months when you get to hold our baby boy it will all be worth it." I reassure her.

She meets my eyes and smiles softly at me. "Thank you."

I match her smile and nod as I stand from the bed and go to my dresser, pulling a tee shirt out and handing it to her before turning to go to the bathroom to shower. Not being able to be around her any longer with her lack of clothing driving me crazy. I holler over my shoulder as I walk away from her, "Now put some clothes on crazy girl, I don't need anyone else seeing you like that."

I don't miss the deep blush that fills her cheeks as I close the door to the bathroom to take a much-needed cold shower.

_**Dawson**_

I watch from my spot on the couch as Matt and Severide move from the soon-to-be baby room and back and forth from the living room to the hall. We'd been slowly moving things out of the room and putting things away. I'd been sanctioned to the couch and told not to help… Something I was getting used to at this point but was still hating none the less.

I hear a grumble from the room and can't help but roll my eyes. They were both huffing and puffing as if this was the worst job of their lives and that they didn't run into burning buildings on a regular basis or lift heavy tools or people.

"Come on old men, you're almost done." I laugh throwing a look over my shoulder and catching sight of Severide's glare and middle finger thrown my way. Matt popping up behind him and tapping him on the back of the head with the paper in his hand in my defense and I just shake my head at them.

I hear more grumbling on Severide's part and Matt's laughter and my fingers dance across my stomach as I take it all in. I was a lucky girl to have Matt and Kelly both here to take care of me and anything the baby or I needed. They drove me crazy with their worrying, but it was also nice to have someone care so much, to have someone worry like they did. It was comforting.

"Alright, Gabs. That's the last of it." I hear Matt call and I'm off the couch in an instant and rushing into the now cleared baby room.

I smile brightly at the both of them. "It looks so much bigger in here!" I squeal excitedly, thinking of all the baby supplies that we would fill it with. I pull the both of them into a tight hug. "Thank you, guys." I tell them sincerely. I'd been on them for a couple weeks now to get this place cleared so we could start getting it ready for the baby, and I knew I'd been driving them crazy with the constant reminders, I was just too excited.

"What color should we paint it?" I ask Matt excitedly and he shrugs, looking at me with a content smile.

Kelly interjects quickly. "Red. Firetruck red."

I shake my head at him, that wasn't happening. "What? So you two can fight over whether the walls will say Truck or Squad? No." I joke lightly, but they both know I'm serious. They share a look and I know I was right in that assumption. We all know that would be a debate either way.

"How about blue?" Matt asks, looking around the room and then back to me. "Light blue." He clarifies.

Severide shrugs. "It is a boy after all." He quips.

I walk around the room slowly, letting my hand run along the wall. Picturing them covered in a blue that matched Matt's eyes. Honestly, blue had been the first color I thought of but I hadn't wanted to admit that right away. Thinking they'd laugh at me for picking such a cliché color for a boy. I turn back to Matt, my eyes meeting his and my hand falling to rest on my stomach where I could feel the baby moving, as if he was agreeing with his father. "Blue sounds perfect." I tell him, matching his smile.

A beat of silence passes before my excitement takes over again. "So when can we start painting?" I ask excitedly, bouncing over to the two of them.

Matt shakes his head at me and Kelly scuffs. "_We _will start painting this week. _You_ will get out of the apartment for the day when that happens." He clarifies and I pout.

"Come on…" I drawl out. "First you won't let me leave the apartment and now you plan on kicking me out." I grumble, walking to the nursery door, only stopping to throw a look at him over my shoulder. "You're gonna give a girl a complex you know, Casey." I joke lightly and hear him and Kelly both chuckle as they follow me to the kitchen.

I grab a bottle of water out of the fridge and toss Matt a beer and he gives me a dimpled smirk when he sees the scowl on my face. Oh, how I missed beer. There is a knock at the door and Kelly goes to answer it as Matt comes to stand in front of me when I wince as the baby kicks. "He's really moving in there." I tell him softly and Matt rests his hand on my stomach, waiting to feel the movement. He frowns after a moment when the movement is still not felt on the outside. Matt had been waiting rather impatiently since that day in Chicago Med to feel the baby kick. I'd been feeling him move more and more on the inside and I knew it would only be a matter of time until Matt could finally feel our little one.

I rest my hand on his cheek gently as the look of disappointment settles into his features. "You'll be able to feel it soon, I promise."

He smiles gently and kisses my forehead before stepping away as Severide walks into the kitchen, Brett trailing behind. "Hey!" I chirp, happy to see the blonde. I grab my purse and Matt raises a brow in my direction. "To save you from another melt down like this morning… Brett and I are going clothes shopping." I inform him and he blushes a little, and I know he is thinking of my lack of clothing that he walked in on and it causes a shade of pink to hit my cheeks as well.

"Ah, finally getting to fat for the clothes, Dawson?" Severide asks nonchalantly and my mouth drops open as I send him a deep glare. If looks could kill, Severide would be in a shallow grave right now.

I throw one of the apples from the bowl at him and he catches it easily and takes a bite. Smirking at me with a mouthful. Matt and Sylvie laugh at us and I scowl at all of them. "Hate you." I mumble childishly in Kelly's direction and he raises a hand to his heart in fake offense, only furthering my scowl.

I sling my purse over my shoulder further and make my way to the door, Severide laughs after me at my dramatics. "Hey, you know I was kidding!" He calls and I only raise my middle finger in his direction. I don't bother to turn around, but I know Matt must have scolded Severide in some way because I hear him wince in pain and scuffling going on before Sylvie and I walk out of the apartment.

She throws me a look. "Looks like you got your hands full in there." She jokes and I shake my head in agreeance.

"You have no idea."

_**Casey**_

Kelly and I run to the hardware store down the road from our apartment after Gabby and Brett leave. I decided it would be nice to at least pick up the paint so that it was here for me to paint whenever I had time this week.

I sent Gabby a picture of the color and received a smiley face in reply and knew that she agreed with the color I had chosen. It was a sky blue color. Perfect for our baby boys room. I was beyond excited to get this room together and to meet our baby boy in a few months. I'd always wanted a son. Hell, I'd always just wanted a child in general, but after all the time I spent with the Darden boys almost 2 years ago, my want to have a little boy of my own had really come through. Sure, one day I wanted a daughter. A daughter that I hoped would be a picture of her mother with brown curly hair and beautiful brown eyes. A feisty temper and a heart of gold.

Yes, Gabby and I weren't together now, but that didn't mean I didn't still see a future with her. It was never a matter of 'if' with Gabby and I and always just 'when'. When Gabby and I got back together I knew we'd be better than ever. There was no doubt in my mind that when the time was right we would find our way back to each other. So when I thought of the future, it always had Gabby in it. Gabby and now our little boy, and hopefully a little girl someday, maybe a couple more children in our future. I'd have a whole heard of kids if it meant Gabby was the mother to all of them. She was going to be an amazing mother. Honestly, she already was to our beautiful baby, growing safely inside of her.

She took care of herself. Eating right, taking her meds. She was being careful after everything that had happened, so many events early on in her pregnancy that could have so easily taken our baby away from us. She was cautious of the things she did, the things she ate, her worry and care for our child the one thing she was always sure of. She was amazing. Everything about her. And watching her glow throughout this pregnancy was making me fall in love with her in ways I'd never thought imaginable. Pregnancy looked amazing on Gabby. The roundness to her stomach, the extra glow to her eyes, the smile she always held. I now fully understood what people called the 'pregnancy glow'. Gabby certainly had it. She was lighter, happier, and it suited her. She deserved the happiness, and I was just glad to be a part of it.

Once we got home I brought the paint in the room and started taping things off with Severide's help. He'd been bugging me the whole time about Gabby and I's relationship, or better yet, lack of. He really wasn't helping with the thoughts of Gabby already swimming in my head.

"…Seriously man. You love her, and she really loves you. You're having a baby together. You live together. You sleep in the same bed. You are like the unofficial couple that everyone is just waiting for to become official again. You two are kidding yourself if you think that not being together is 'easier' for either of you." He goes on and I shake my head, it wasn't the first talk he and I had had on this topic. Severide was definitely persistent. I think he had picked up one or two tips from Shay when it came to knocking some sense into us about our relationship.

"It's not just about what's easier man... A lot had happened in the past few months. We can't just pick up where we left off all those months ago and just jump into being happy again. We've hurt each other a lot. I think we've hurt each other more than we have helped each other this year..." I sigh, thinking of all the heartache we'd caused each other. Too much.

"Case, just because you guys have had it rough doesn't mean you can't move past it. You may have hurt each other and you have been through a lot, but the way I see it this could be a fresh start for the two of you. You can move past all the BS that you put each other through and put it in the past, move on."

"I know... It's just Gabby has been through a lot this year. Not only between the two of us, but with losing Shay, and everything else. She's been beyond stressed out for the first couple of months of this pregnancy. She doesn't need any more stress. We need to just focus on this baby for now and making sure Gabby is healthy... Then maybe we can broach the subject of us again."

"So what? You two are having a kid so everything else like your feelings just gets pushed to the back burner? That sounds like an easy way out to me man."

I can only shrug. "I guess maybe it is..." I admit. We are both cut off when Gabby walks through the door to the apartment, letting it fall shut rather roughly behind her, and we both step out of the baby room to watch her throw her few shopping bags on the couch. I raise my brow at her, seeing the frustrated look on her face.

"You know, would it kill a store around here to make some cute maternity clothes? Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I want to wear a burlap sack for the next 3 and a half months. Seriously." She growls.

I can't help but smirk. Her hormones were in full swing today and I honestly loved it. While I didn't enjoy when they were directed at me, they also were endearing. Everything about Gabby during this pregnancy amazed me, even if it was hormones. Kelly and I share a look and he puts his hands up in surrender and walks back into the room to finish taping it off as I head towards Gabby who has plopped down in one of the kitchen stools with a bottle of water and a pout on her face.

I hear Kelly chuckle inside the room. He was loving all of this.

I take a seat across from her. "What happened?"

She glares at the bags on the couch. "I swear these stores think that all pregnant woman are 40 year old librarians. You should've seen the clothes they had." She grumbles.

I sigh softly, I knew how frustrated Gabby was that her body was changing. The payoff was worth it she always said, but it was still frustrating her. Having to buy new clothes, and not being able to find much that she liked. She'd always been a tiny girl, this was all different for her.

I look at the bags on the couch. There was only four of them and she and Sylvie had been gone for a few hours for her to have that small of bags. All four of them not seeming to be filled with too much. "Looks like you found a couple things though?" I question gently, not wanting to find her frustration directed at me. I'd done pretty well at keeping it directed away from me, I didn't plan on changing that.

Her eyes light up for a moment before she smiles hopping off her stool and walking towards the bags, her mood changing now. _Oh hormones_.

"It isn't much, but I did find a couple tolerable things."

I smile at that as excitement fills her eyes. She pulls a pair of dark wash skinny jeans out of one of the bags, a pregnancy band around the waist instead of a zipper and button, and holds them up to her waist. "These are supper comfy." She comments and I nod appreciatively, already having a feeling that those were going to look amazing on her figure. She pulls out a pair of flat shoes out of the same bag and shows them too me. "I figured I better find something without a heel." She laughs lightly. "Besides I needed something that didn't make my ankles look twice the size like they do now." She murmurs, looking down at her swollen ankles in disgust and I roll my eyes with a smile. She had no idea just how beautiful she was.

She pulls out the second bag and shows me a few of the tops that she got. Pointing out the stretchy material on the sides, and noting how she hoped they would fit her throughout all of her pregnancy, and even after, claiming that they were some of the most comfortable shirts she'd ever tried on. I laughed at that and told her I was sure they looked great on her, which caused a slight plush to rise to her cheeks before she was grabbing her third bag.

She pulls out a pale yellow wrap dress that is a V-neck and low cut. She holds it up to herself and I take a breath, I knew she was going to look amazing in that dress. The light yellow going to look amazing in the summer months that were approaching and on her caramel skin. She pulls a matching dress out, only in light gray. "I absolutely loved these… So I had to get two." She laughs lightly and I grin at her.

"You're going to look beautiful in those, Gabs." I tell her softly and watch as a blush rises to her cheeks and she mumbles a thank you. She folds the dresses back up, and I can see there is more in the bag, but she doesn't move to take it out. "What else you get?" I question.

She shrugs, and looks away from me. "Uh, a couple new bras and underwear."

I swallow thickly, and when her eyes meet mine I try to play it off, and wiggle my eyebrows at her jokingly, she laughs then and shakes her head at my antics. "Shut up." She mumbles, putting the dresses in the bag, but boy did I really want to see those new bras and underwear. If they looked anything like the attire she was wearing this morning.

She puts the bag away and I cautiously ask her what was in the fourth bag she had yet to show me.

Her eyes light up and she claps her hands together in excitement. "Okay, I know we said that we would go shopping together, but I saw them and I just couldn't resist." She grins, pulling out a pair of little blue booties. They were so small. It was hard to believe that our baby would really be this tiny. I smile down at them lovingly, I couldn't wait till our little man was here.

The next thing she pulls out are two separate onesies. One with a firetruck on it that I smile and laugh lightly at, she'd said she didn't want a whole punch of firetruck stuff, yet she was the first one to break that rule. The next one she shows me makes my breath hitch. It's a little white onesie with four words on the front in funny letters. '_My Daddy's My Hero' _and another little firetruck on the butt. I smile brightly and I can feel tears sting my eyes, but refuse to let them fall. Between her and Kelly they'd never let me live it down. It shocks me still how at random moments like this it can hit me just how real this all is. I was going to be a Daddy. Gabby was going to be a Mommy. I was having a baby with the love of my life. It really didn't get any better than that. I hold the little material in my hands and meet Gabby's eyes. She's looking at me lovingly and I take her hand in mine, squeezing it softly. "I love it... Thank you." I whisper. Overwhelmed with the sense of pride that I feel knowing that I was going to be a Dad, and hoping that the words on the little outfit in my hands were true, that one day our little boy would look up to me as his hero.

Gabby takes a step forward and kisses my cheek softly before stepping away, grabbing that bags and heading to our room, sending me a smile over her shoulder.

It was crazy how much I loved that woman.

And I really, really, would love to see those new underwear.

...

When I walk into our bedroom a few days later I smile when I see Gabby curled up on the bed. I'd just gotten off shift and it was only a little after 7, so I figured she would still be in bed.

This was my favorite thing about the days I got off shift. Getting to come home and find her curled up in our bed peacefully. She was almost always still sleeping, I knew she didn't sleep well on the nights I wasn't here, and despite myself, that actually made me feel good, especially since sleep was hard to come by for me as well when I was on shift away from her.

She was curled on her side on top of the sheets, so I knew she must have gotten too hot in the middle of the night. She was in one of my shirts, something I absolutely loved, and in a pair of her little cotton sleep shorts, something else I really loved. Her hand rest on her stomach, her other resting under her cheek with her hair laid framing her face on the pillow. She looked peaceful.

I change out of my clothes and crawl into bed beside her. I knew we weren't together, but I was so thankful that Gabby had agreed to move back in here. I loved being able to watch her go through this pregnancy, and I loved being able to crawl into bed with her and hold her in my arms, despite our relationship status.

I brush the hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. My hand trails from her arm down to rest by hers on her stomach as I scout closer to her. Her hand moves on top of mine in her sleep and I smile. We were drawn to each other, always, even in sleep.

I snuggle into my pillow and can feel sleep ready to overtake me.

And then I feel it…

The light flutter under my hand. My eyes fly open and I look at Gabby's still sleeping face in utter shock, before looking down at her stomach. I feel that flutter under my hand again, stronger this time. A watery chuckles leaves my lips quietly. Amazement filling me.

As much as I wanted to share this moment with Gabby, I didn't want to wake her, and it was also kind of nice to have this moment between me and my son.

I look at her sleeping face once more before crawling down the bed, coming eye level with her 5 and a half month pregnancy belly. My hand stays resting on her stomach and I push her (my) shirt up, resting my hand on her bare stomach, and I can feel another light rap against my hand and smile, placing a kiss on her stomach. "Hey there buddy." I whisper, feeling a multiple of hits against my hand. I had no idea how Gabby was sleeping through this.

Our baby was definitely going to be a little soccer player with those kicks. "I'm your Daddy, and I love you so, so much." I whisper. "I can't wait to meet you, little man. You know that? You are going to be so loved. All of your family at firehouse 51, your grandparents, your Aunt and Uncle, your Uncle Kelly. Me and your Mommy. You have the best Mom in the world, and she loves you so much, we both do. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you and your Mom." I kiss Gabby's stomach once more before looking up at her, seeing that she is still sleeping, I snuggle up to her side, not caring of the shade she'll probably give me in the morning, and let my hand rest on her stomach as I drift off to sleep, still feeling the flutter of our baby boy under my hand.

I was a lucky man…

_**Dawson**_

I can feel a pressure on my stomach and my thigh when I start to slip into consciousness. As my eyes adjust to the light I look down to find Matt's head rested on my thigh and his hand resting on my stomach and I smile softly. My boys.

I can feel the baby kick rather harshly against where my hand rested over Matt's. I knew he must have felt it and I smiled to myself at the knowledge. He'd been eager to feel our baby moving for weeks now, waiting impatiently and grumbling softly every time I could feel our little man and he couldn't.

When I look back down at him his eyes are open and there is a matching smile on his face as we both feel our baby kicking our hands. He was definitely active this morning.

"Hey you…" I say softly, my voice thick with sleep.

He smiles back at me and his eyes flash to my stomach before looking back at me in wonder. "This is amazing…" He breathes out and I nod my head. It really was.

He kisses my stomach and my heart flutters and my eyes sting. "I love you buddy." I hear him whisper against my skin and wipe at the tear that trails down my cheek.

I'd never experienced such a strong feeling of love in my entire life. I loved Matt with everything I had, and I loved this baby more than I could ever put into words. There were the greatest gifts God could ever grant me. Matt crawls back up the bed and when he lays down beside me his hand doesn't leave my stomach and I sigh contently when he pulls me into his arms, holding me close and kissing the top of my head. "Thank you." He whispers and when I pull away I look at him in confusion.

"For what?" I whisper, my throat still tight from watching him being so loving to our unborn child and from the sleep still thick in my voice.

He meets my eyes and looks at me lovingly, a look that would surely stop my heart one day.

"For everything… For giving me the greatest gift I could ever experience. For being here, letting me go through all this with you. For everything Gabby…" He says softly and I feel my eyes sting again. Damn hormones. I can only manage a nod and I snuggle into Matt's chest and hold him close. There was so many things I wanted to thank him for as well. For letting me experience the greatest love I'd ever known, both with him, and for the life we'd created. For letting me move back in here, for being here every step of the way. For being crazy over protective, even if it did drive me crazy someday. For being the greatest father that any kid could ever have, because I knew he would be. He already was. For just being him. The man I feel in love with so many years ago, from our first meeting. For being the strongest man I'd ever had the privilege of meeting. For being so loving and caring. For taking care of me. For loving me, even if neither of us were willing to take the next step. The love was still there. It was still very much apparent. I would love Matthew Casey for the rest of my life and whatever life came after that. He was my forever. The love of my life. The father of my child. I owed him my life. I owed him everything.

I was the one who was thankful.

My lips graze his chest lightly, not being able to help myself, needing to feel his skin against me. His hold on me tightens and I sigh into his arms. This man was everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed. Him and this baby. They were my life. Always.

I can feel sleep taking over once again as Matt holds me close and pulls the light sheet around us and there is only one thought on my mind as I settle into his embrace and feel his lips against my head and his hand on my stomach. The steady beat of his heart in my ear lulling me to sleep once again.

Screw being just friends.

**But really, screw being just friends. (Especially on the show.)**

**Hope you guys liked this little piece of fluff! I know it was so unlike me, lol. Next chapter will pick this story up a bit.**

**Hoping to have the next one up soon for you guys! **

**My other story 'You'll Get It And Be Gone' will be updated tonight as well, so if you like that one keep an eye out for it. **

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this one!**

**Review, Review, Review!**

**XxXx Shelby**


	14. Bad To Worst

**A/N: Sorry for the wait on this one! My muse is playing tricks on me and though I've had time to write, I just have not had the inspiration too, but I'm trying. **

**Thank you all for the continued support for this story! It makes my day every time I get a review. You guys are so wonderful!**

**Enjoy!**

_I own nothing, except baby boy Casey… whose name, may or may not be decided in this chapter…_

_**Dawson**_

Severide and I sat in the living room a few short days later working on folding up some of the baby clothes that Brett had brought over for us. She'd been out and found a few things and told me that she just couldn't resist picking up a couple things for the baby. I folded the little clothes, cooing over all of them, they were just so damn small and cute. While Kelly sat on the sofa behind me, watching the TV that he'd put on and sipping at a beer. It was Sunday afternoon and Matt had run out for a bit, he'd had a construction job to get to quick across town but had promised he wouldn't be gone long.

It was Sunday, Mother's Day, and I'd woken up wrapped in Matt's arms as he stared down at me, smiling at me lovingly before whispering a morning and a 'Happy Mother's Day' before kissing my forehead and rubbing his hand along my stomach. At that moment, I'd been so overwhelmed with love for the man in front of me and our little boy growing inside of me.

It was Mother's Day, and while our baby wasn't yet here, I was a mother, and it felt amazing. It was a feeling I couldn't explain. So when Sylvie had dropped by that morning, also wishing me a Happy Mother's Day and dropped off her little present of baby clothes, my heart had swelled again. Only to further swell when I got out of my shower and found Matt and Kelly setting the kitchen table for the breakfast feast they'd created. I'd cried right on the spot, not being able to help myself or stop the wave of happy emotions that flooded me. Matt had hugged me tight, calming my tears and whispering sweet nothings in my ear as he rubbed my stomach, our baby kicking at the sound of his Daddy's voice.

It's been a great day. One of the best I'd had. I finish folding the little clothes and place them in a basket, we had yet to get any baby furniture though I nagged Matt about it for the past three weeks. We really needed to get a move on with the nursery. It was taped off as of a few days ago, but still had not been painted, and no other progress had been made on the room. I was growing impatient but tried not to nag either of the guys too much, knowing they both were on shift and had been busy. Matt had been particularly busy with one of his side jobs, so I tried to be understanding. But I was only a couple weeks from my 6-month mark and entering my third trimester, so it had me worried that we'd made such little progress on basically everything baby wise.

Kelly clears his throat when the TV goes to a commercial and watches me for a moment as I place the rest of the little clothes in the basket. "So, have you and Casey talked about baby names yet?" He questions, a smile on his face that came out when he talked about the little boy I knew he would be a great role model too.

I scuff and try to hide my eye roll. "No…" I grumble, also frustrated that we had yet to do that.

He smirks. "Well you know, 'Buddy', isn't the best name for a kid. Maybe if you two were getting a dog… but kid, not so much." He jokes, talking about the little nickname that Matt and I had been calling our little boy for a few weeks now.

I send him a glare, the jokes weren't appreciated when I was this frustrated about everything.

He's chuckles lightly and silence passes between us before he gets a look in his eyes that has me curious. "What?" I question him. He falls back into reality and shakes his head.

"Uh, nothing." He shakes it off and I look at him again.

"Come on. What is it, Kel?" I pout.

He sighs and sets his beer down, scooting to the end of the couch to get a little closer to me. "Well, I was just thinking since you guys don't have a name at all, that I'd give you a suggestion." He says gently, a look I didn't recognize in his eyes.

"Go on…"

He sighs softly once again and I see the emotions play on his face. "A couple years ago, you know, when Shay and I were going to have a baby…" I had an idea of where this conversation was going and my heart clenched and ached all in one. "We had talked about names a bit and if it was a boy, Shay had wanted to name it Jesse… It uh, it means gift, in Hebrew, and she had said 'This baby is going to be the best gift either of us has ever gotten,' and I know it would've been too."

"Kelly…" I breathe out, my voice thick with emotion.

He carries on, meeting my eyes now and he rests his hand on my stomach lightly. "And this baby is a gift, Dawson. For you and Casey, it really is. You're going to be amazing parents. I know Shay would be honored for you to have the name if you want it of course…"

Tears trail down my cheeks and I shake my head quickly. I couldn't think of a better name for our little man. He was a gift, and he would carry a little part of Shay around with him with that name. I pull Kelly into a hug and whisper a thank you to him, and a silent thank you up to Shay. When we pull apart I run my hand over my stomach. "Jesse…" I whisper, loving the sound of it. _Jesse Casey._ I feel little man kick against my hand at the sound of my voice, almost confirming this to be his name and I smiled brightly.

Now I just need to talk to Matt about it.

_**Casey**_

I was sitting at the table in the common room nursing a cup of much-needed coffee and going over the blueprints I'd drawn up in front of me. My mind going a mile a minute today. From Gabby and the baby, and the tension that was starting in the house. Otis's accusation of Rice being a ducker had caught wind and it was slowly becoming the talk of the house. Between working on the furniture for the baby room behind Gabby's back and the extra construction jobs I'd picked up, I was starting to wear myself thin.

"Hey! There's our girl!" I hear Hermann call out and a chorus of welcomes to follow and I look up to find Gabby making her way into the common room. Dishes of food in each hand that the guys quickly help her with.

A smile fills my features, I had no idea she was dropping by, and I had no idea she would be wearing the perfect yellow wrap dress that I had yet to see her in. I stand from the table when she makes her way too me after being wrapped in many hugs, I pull her into one of my own, holding her close and kissing the top of her head. I can feel the stress that had surrounded me falling away just by having her near. "What are you doing here?" I ask her with a smile that she matches.

"I was bored and decided to cook, figured I'd share." She smiles, watching as the guys set the plates out and started digging into the food she'd brought. "Besides, your son has been kicking me like crazy since you left this morning." She says, running her hand along her stomach, my hand coming to rest there as well as I raise a brow.

"My son?" I smirk and she raises a challenging brow back.

"Only when he decides to kick his Momma in the ribs multiple times." She grumbles softly and I chuckle lightly before kissing her head again as both of grab our plates before the guys devoured it all. As we all sit around the table the earlier tension seems to fade away from us all at Gabby's presence. The guys all talking about how much they'd missed her and asking about the baby.

Gabby sat beside me and I watched her light up with talk about our son and how he was growing healthily. Talk of the baby room, and not missing Gabby's playful glare when a crib was mentioned. I'd had to look away sheepishly, but I was proud that she was still in the dark about the furniture I'd been making to fill that room. It was growing more and more difficult to dodge reasons why we couldn't go look at baby stuff together. The crib is soon forgotten in the discussion and they move on to another topic and I just take it all in, loving having Gabby in the house again. Watching her light up with laughter at being surrounded by our 51 family. Her makeup was light and her hair was in gentle curls, her bangs falling in her face every time she dipped her head in laughter and I ached to brush the tendrils behind her ear. She was beautiful. The yellow wrap dress making her beautiful caramel skin glow. Her laughter echoing in my ears.

I was too distracted by her and the conversations buzzing around us to notice Otis get up from the table to get another dish, stopping at the little table where I had previously sat before Gabby's arrival and looking at the papers I had strewn across there.

"Hey, Lieutenant, what's _Stilettoes_?" He quips and all eyes are on me curiously.

Gabby snorts beside me. "Sounds like a strip club." Her voice full of humor and the other guys laugh along before Gabby catches my look and her eyes widen before glaring slightly at me. "Oh God. It is a strip club." I had yet to tell her about the job offered to me a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure how she'd take it, so I'd tried to just hide it. It was just an expansion and it paid well. We could use the extra money for the baby.

I shrug sheepishly, not sure which way her emotions were going to swing on this one. They were pretty unpredictable as of late. I glare at Otis for mentioning it all before clearing my throat and addressing all the humored, glaring (on Gabby's part), and curious faces. "Yes, it's a strip club. I'm doing an expansion for them." I clarify.

Otis and Cruz are quick to ask if I need any extra help and I just as quickly shoe them away. Hermann and Kelly both start ripping me about working in the club and the rest of the guys make their own digs. Gabby sits silently and finishes her plate before heading off to the bathroom, claiming _my_ son was kicking her bladder. I sigh as I watch her walk off and shoot another glare Otis's way. "Really, Otis?" I huff, earning an innocent shrug from him.

"Sorry, didn't know it was a secret."

I shake my head and am ready to let it go, thinking that having him run a few drills would teach him to keep his mouth shut.

"Leave it to Otis to not know when to close his big mouth." I hear grumbled from the other end of the table. Scott Rice.

It only takes a few moments for a full out argument to ensue. Kelly holding back his guys, me holding back my own. This was ridiculous. I'd thought this had been under control.

The rooms seems to quit as Gabby steps back into the door way to the common room, looking at us all in utter confusion. Chief steps beside her, having heard the argument and looks at us all in annoyance. Sending a hard glare to Kelly and I in particular. "Is there a problem here?" His gruff voice echoes. Kelly and I make eye contact before shaking our head at the Chief.

"No Chief." We both respond and the Chief sends another glare before heading back to his office with a shake of his head. I throw a warning glance to Otis and my guys and watch Severide lead his men out to the Squad table. Gabby nods her head down the hall and I follow her to my office.

Here we go.

I close the door behind me and lean up against it as Gabby takes a seat on my bed. She doesn't say anything for a moment and I'm too busy getting lost in watching her too speak. She completely captivated me, it was insane what this woman did to me.

"What's going on with the guys?" She questions confused and concerned and I sigh in exasperation at the whole situation that was apparently slowly escalating, but am happy that she hasn't mentioned the strip club..

"Otis, is making accusations that Scott Rice is a ducker…"

Gabby's eyes widen. "Woah…"

I nod. "Yeah… It's been tense the past few shifts. Thought we had it under control, but apparently not." I huff.

Gabby smiles softly squeezing my hand before releasing it. "You and Severide are the two best Lieutenants I know. The guys respect you both. Talk to them, I'm sure you guys will figure it out, Matt."

I smile gratefully at her. It amazed me how a few simple words from her could change my mood so drastically. "Thank you."

Her megawatt smile beams back at me before she claps her hands in excitement. "Oh! We haven't really gotten the chance to talk, you know with your construction jobs…" She pauses, throwing me a look and I sigh, but she continues on. "Severide and I were talking the other day, and he suggested a baby name. I know we really haven't gotten a chance to talk about it, but he suggested it, and I love it, and Shay…" She rambles on and I cut her off with my hands on her shoulders.

"Gabs… What is it?" I laugh.

"Jesse? It was the name Shay wanted to name her baby, a few years ago when she went through all of that with Kelly. He suggested it, it means gift in Hebrew, and I really like it, but if you don't then we can…" I cut off her nervous ramble with a finger to her lips.

My eyes glisten excitedly. "I love it, Gabs." I watch as her shoulders slump and she relaxes.

"Really?" She asks.

I nod. "But I was thinking, maybe Andrew for a middle name… for Darden." I clarify and watch tears glisten in her eyes.

Our baby would hold a piece of our two fallen friends in his name, Shay and Andy both.

"I love it." She whispers, her voice low and her throat tight.

My hand rests on her stomach, feeling out little man kick, and her hands close over mine. "Jesse Andrew Casey."

We share a smile and after a few beats of relishing in the silence Dawson quirks a brow at me and a sly grin fills her features as she taunts me cheekily, "So a strip club, huh?"

I huff, I knew that moment was too good to be true…

_**Dawson**_

Watching Matt walk through our bedroom door with a scowl on his face I sigh. I'd been a couple days since I stopped by the firehouse and I knew things were becoming tenser by the day, and Matt was struggling with how to fix it. He and Severide had barely talked when they were home the past few days. Neither of them were actively arguing, but they weren't getting along either and I knew all of this was taking a toll on Matt. He looked utterly exhausted most days. Right now, he looked down right pissed.

"Hey, you okay?" I question gently, gaining his attention.

His blue eyes meet mine and I watch him relax a little bit as he lets out a puff of air and takes me in. I feel a blush creep to my cheeks as he gazes over me in our bed. I'd slept in one of his shirts, mine were all becoming much too tight, and a pair of sleep shorts. I knew my hair had to have been a frizzy untamed mess and I was wearing no makeup, but his look on me would make you think the complete opposite. The looks he gives me could move mountains and I feel my heart beat out of my chest.

I watch as he ignores my question and changes out of his clothes, stripping down to his boxers, a look that made me stare just as hard. What the hell were they putting in the water around here? He was driving me crazy. These damn hormones and I…

Matt plops down on the bed beside me and huffs out a 'No', finally answering my previous question.

I take to running my fingers through his sandy blonde hair as I stare down at him where he rested flat against the bed while I was propped up against a few pillows. He hums in appreciation and I smirk. It was just so easy with us. "You wanna talk about it?"

He shakes his head and meets my eyes and I watch his sparkle before he huffs once more and slides up the bed, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on my shoulder. I was a little surprised, but no way would I complain. I loved when Matt was like this. Whenever he got so flustered and life just became too much he'd snuggle into me like this and to me it was just as comforting as when our roles were reversed and I was snuggled into his chest. It was nice to see Matt let his walls down and let me hold him and comfort him like he did me every day. I smirk softly as I look down at his relaxed face and continue to let my hands comb through his hair. We hadn't laid like this since we were a couple, something I was painfully aware of, but neither of us questioned it.

I can tell he doesn't want to talk about whatever is all bothering him, but I still have to let him know. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm not going anywhere." I tell him softly and feel his smile on the skin of my neck where his head was nuzzled. When he places a kiss there I have to stop the deep breath that I almost suck in. _What was he trying to do to me?_

"I know, Gabs." He answers.

It's a few minutes later that he moves his head to look up at me and when blue meets brown I feel my heart stop and whatever he was meant to say gets caught in his throat as we stare at each other, our faces just a breath apart. I swallow thickly. This is where I was supposed to push him away, or look away embarrassed. We were just friends after all. This is where Matt was supposed to pull away or just lay his head back down like nothing happened. We were just friends. Just friends having a baby.

Screw being just friends.

I muster up all the courage I have and my lips brush against his carefully, gaging his reaction. I'm pleasantly surprised when after a moment of shock his lips move against mine, slowly, sensually.

It'd been so long since we shared a kiss like this. This long and slow, gentle, loving. My hands move from his hair to the back of his neck and to cup his cheek as his move to my waist and back, holding me even closer. As close as my almost 6 month baby bump would allow.

We pull away and when our eyes meet in question I smile softly and Matt is rolling on top of me a moment later, his lips claiming mine once more and I relish in his touch. It'd been so long… too damn long.

We could've kissed for hours, days, years, and it wouldn't have mattered. I wouldn't have cared because having Matt's lips on mine meant everything. Matt's touch sent me into another world. A world where it was just the two of us and nothing more. Nothing else but the two of us in this moment mattered.

Matt's hands trail up and down my sides and mine grip his muscled back as his body rests carefully on top of mine, minding the baby bump that now separated us. Then Matt's lips are trailing from my lips to my jaw and down my neck before finding that spot by my ear that he knew drove me wild just as his hands began pushing my shirt up. I can't stop the moan of his name that slips from my lips… and then I feel Matt freeze. Reality setting in.

No.

He starts pulling away and I have to stop myself from pulling him back, from begging him not to stop this. "Gabby…" He whispers. No… "I can't… we can't…" And there it was, my worst fear all along, I had my answer too it, the answer I'd been fearing. If I tried for something more with Matt would he reject me? Apparently that answer was yes.

His blue eyes glisten down at me, an unreadable expression on his face and I shake my head feeling the rejection sinking in. I push him off of me and crawl out of bed as quickly as my pregnant body will allow before racing into the bathroom and letting the door fall shut harshly, hearing him call my name after me.

I sink down against the door and try to calm my erratic breathing and stop the sting of tears that I feel trail down my cheeks. Did I just mess everything up?

_**Casey**_

Rejection.

Complete and utter rejection. It was the look that crossed Gabby's face the second I pulled away from her over a week ago. It was a look I knew far too well from her. A look I'd seen a couple times now and hated more each time. The night of her cousin's Christmas party 3 years ago. A look that crossed her face multiple times right before we broke up. Rejection would cross her face every time I turned down talking to her about our feelings, again. And it crossed her face the day she walked out of our apartment, when she tried talking and I was too hurt to fight back. It was a look I could decipher on her face easily, and I hated that. I hated that I'd seen that sad look in her eyes multiple times and I hated that I was the one who put it there.

I didn't mean to reject her in the bedroom over a week ago. It just wasn't the right time. I was stressed over the tension going on at 51 and I was stressed over the strain it was putting on Kelly and I as well. We were both trying not to let it affect us outside of work, mostly for Gabby, but it was still getting to us. Neither of us agreeing on how the other was handling their guys.

I was stressed about the mess I had gotten myself into at the strip club. It was supposed to just be a side job. A quick side job that I'd have done in about a month and then be over with. It paid well. We needed to money for the baby, and now it was all a mess. Things had started to feel a bit off, but I had decided to ignore it, just wanting to keep my head down and get my work done… Then Voight and Antonio had approached me, that morning before going home where Gabby and I had almost taken the next step, of the shady dealings going down in that club and I knew it wouldn't be as easy as finishing the work and getting out. I felt bad for keeping the construction job from Gabby to start with, but now I felt even worst. They wanted me to dive deeper into Nesbitt's operation, to go undercover, and as much as I wanted to refuse I couldn't. They were trafficking girls and I couldn't just walk away. I had yet to do any digging or to actually go undercover, but I couldn't help the guilt I was feeling from hiding it all from Gabby. She knew I was working at the club now thanks to Otis's big mouth, but she hadn't asked for any details, only teased me about the deal and not telling her, but I could see the hesitation and worry in her eyes that she didn't want to give way.

I'd made Antonio promise not to tell Gabby anything about it. I didn't want her worrying about me, and Antonio had promised he had my back. He'd promised that it would all go down soundly, and that Gabby would never need to hear about it. But I couldn't jump back into things with Gabby when I was keeping this from her. It felt wrong to start us off again when I was hiding things from her and was so stressed. We'd promised each other that when we got back together it would be better than ever, and if I got back with Gabby now without telling her all of what was going on, than I wouldn't be holding up my end of the deal.

I couldn't explain any of this to Gabby, so instead we'd skidded around each other all week. It was awkward, and forced, and it hadn't been that way between us ever. Even before we broke up it hadn't felt like this.

I was lost in my thoughts when I saw Gabby walking in through the garage doors of 51 and looked at her in confusion. "Hey, what are you doing here?" I question. We'd been avoiding each other at home for the most part, I wasn't sure why she was actively seeking me out.

She smiles nervously and grabs my phones out of her pocket and passes it to me. "Just wanted to drop it off, you left it at home." She says softly.

I smile gratefully, not even realizing I'd forgotten it. As I take her in I sigh, hating how detached we'd become since that day. "Gabby…"

"Casey…" We both turn at the sound of my name and my eyes widen when I see Katia walking towards us, a girl from the club. Gabby looks at me in confusion and I'm too stunned to say anything as Katia makes her way over with an easy smile, handing me my suit jacket that I'd left at the club the other night when I'd gone to meet Jack about expanding the business, a deal I had turned down. "You left this, Jack wanted me to make sure it got back to you."

I clear my throat and tuck the jacket under my arm. "Uh, thanks, you didn't have to do that." I say uneasily, feeling Gabby's stare on us.

Katia smile sweetly. "It was no problem. I'll see you later Matt."

I turn back to Gabby and she raises a perfectly sculpted brow my way and I know the thoughts that are going through her head before she even gets them out. Things between us going from bad to worst.

"Looks like you're forgetting things everywhere, Matt." She quips and I can hear the edge to her voice and inwardly groan.

There's no longer rejection in her features, only jealousy and anger.

Jealousy that doesn't need to be there.

Katia was a beautiful woman, all the woman at the club were, but they didn't compare to Gabby. The woman I'd seen at the club half naked dancing around didn't make my heart beat half as fast as Gabby did in my t-shirt and pajama pants simply just sitting on the couch. I hadn't spared those girls a second glance, because I knew what I had waiting at home was the best thing in the world. Gabby was the woman for me, and once all of this was said and done, I intended on showing her as much.

I sigh when Gabby turns away and call after her but she just raises her hand in goodbye telling me to leave it, and this time I groan out loud.

I know Gabby, and I know the thoughts racing through her head aren't good ones. I needed to talk to her, but first I needed to talk to her brother and see how quick we could get me out of this club.

**Isn't this fun?**

**It was getting a little too fluffy for me, had to stir the pot a bit. I've had the strip club storyline in mind for this story since it was first mentioned in CF and finally got around to adding it in and decided to add in the Rice storyline as well. **

**I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter, I struggled writing it and have edited it a couple times now, but I wanted to get a chapter out for you guys, so I hope it wasn't too bad. **

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you thought!**

**Review!**

**XxXx**

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	15. Surprise

**A/N: So so so so so sorry about the wait on this one! I know it's been awhile and I am sorry for that, but sometimes life just gets in the way, like it did in this case. **

**Thank you for all of the reviews on the last chapter. I really do appreciate all the support and encouragement. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I've had it in mind for a while and have slowly been working on it.**

**I'm trying to work on finishing the next chapter of 'You'll Get It And Be Gone' and I will have that up whenever I get it finished. My muse has just been nonexistent lately, sadly. **

**Enjoy!**

_**Dawson**_

I move slowly around the kitchen, humming to the song on the radio and swaying my hips to the music as I made breakfast for the guys. Things had been tense throughout the apartment for a few days now. Things were tense between Matt and I because of the steamy incident in our bedroom that had water thrown on it abruptly and had both of us, me especially, taking a step back from each other. Things had been awkward, and that awkwardness only furthered after the other day at 51 when the blonde bimbo showed up with Matt's jacket.

He'd tried to explain that he'd left it at the club after a meeting, and while I did believe him, I hadn't showed as much. I was mad, frustrated… hurt. The feeling of rejection was still coursing through me even over two weeks later and the run in from Matt's blonde friend was just a reminder of the people he was now surrounded by when he wasn't home or at 51. It was a reminder of the girls he got to see at the club, the skinny, beautiful, sexy girls. Girls that weren't pregnant and hormonal or getting fatter by the day. I knew I was being insecure, and had no reason to be, Matt and I weren't together after all. But I couldn't stop the feeling of rejection that coursed through me since that day.

All of my fears of getting back with Matt had shown through. I'd feared from the beginning that Matt would only want to be with me because of the baby, which is one reason why the 'just friends' agreement had been nice. I hadn't wanted Matt to jump into being together again just because of the pregnancy. Now I didn't know what to feel about Matt. Well, _I_ knew what to feel about him, I loved him. But I had no idea what Matt was feeling about me. He had invited me back into our place. Told me he wanted to be there for me and the baby. He had told me if we got back together he wanted to do it right, and he'd even told me that he knew we would be together again, that it just wasn't the right time. But that was all a few months ago now. Maybe I'd mistaken all of the lingering looks and loving gestures that had happened between us.

I growl in frustration at my own thoughts and continue to flip the pancakes I was making and scramble the eggs. The guys would be home soon and I had decided to make breakfast as a peace offering. Not only had things been awkward and tense between Matt and I, but Kelly and Matt's fighting from on shift was boiling over into the apartment. They tried to ignore it, but it had finally hit its ugly head. Neither of them would talk much to me about it, but the little bits that I did catch let me know that what was going down at the fire house was getting out of hand. I'd walked in the other day to catch the tail end of a screaming match between the two. Matt had jumped into the shower right afterwards so I'd gone to Kelly to figure out what was going on only to have him brush me off and go out for a run.

Things had been tense between us all, but I was going to try and put that all behind us.

I was just about too enter my final trimester in a about two short weeks and had hit the 6 month mark of my pregnancy and other than the name being picked out for our little boy and the room, finally, being finished painted nothing else had been done and I was hoping that a quite morning of forgiveness and breakfast would have me able to bring up a shopping day to finish the baby room.

I hear the front door open and smile. "Hey!" I chirp happily. Only to hear the front door slam a second later. Kelly takes off down one hall to his room and his door echoes behind him and Matt heads to our room, that door slamming behind him as well.

I look around the once again quite apartment. "I made breakfast…" I call quietly, knowing neither would hear me either way. I turn off the burners and sigh softly. So much for that idea.

I was just about to go check on Matt when there is a knock on the front door and I roll my eyes. "Don't worry guys, I got it." I say sarcastically before heading to the door and throwing it open without checking.

I instantly regret that decision.

"Mom? Dad?"

My mouth drops open in shock when I see my parents standing in front of me, their own mouths opened in just as much shock as they take me in. It was hot as hell in the apartment, or maybe that was just me, either way… I was in a tank top that didn't quite cover my protruding stomach and a pair of cotton shorts with my hair on top of my head. But I knew the thing that was gaining my parents intense stare was my swollen stomach.

I had finally grown the balls to tell my parents I was pregnant about a month ago, after Antonio's insistence, and they hadn't taken the news well. They knew the baby was Matt's and they knew I had moved back in with him, but they didn't know how far along I was. I'm assuming they had expected me to be only a few months along, not 6. I don't know why I didn't tell them, but I was scared. My parents had loved Matt when we were together, but since our break up they had not been so happy with him, despite my efforts to say the break up was both of our faults my parents didn't agree with that idea. I was their little girl, and they were a little over protective. After ignoring my mother's calls for a few weeks I should have expected them to just show up…

"Wha, what are you doing here?" I stutter and their shocked eyes finally snap to mine.

_**Casey**_

_"No puedo creer que están aquí ..."_

I hated when she spoke Spanish to me. She knew I had no idea what she was saying, but she did it anyways. It usually only came out when she was mad, and right now she was fuming.

Gabby had been pacing our bedroom for the past five minutes going back and forth between Spanish and English, only giving me little bits of information since I couldn't understand her half the time.

From what I had picked up her parents were here, unannounced, and Gabby wasn't impressed.

_"... y tú y Severide está luchando ..." _She growls pointing a finger at me and I can only look at her wide eyed, having no idea what she is saying as she moves around the room now to our closet and pulls out some clothes. She continues to spout off some more Spanish that I cannot understand as she pulls her shirt over her head unabashedly and throws it on the floor. Clearly she was too worked up to be embarrassed or worried about my eyes on her bare body as she continues to rant. I look away and take a deep breath, it's a good thing she was speaking Spanish and wouldn't expect me to know what she was saying because I know that there is no way I'd be able to focus on her words right now when she is undressing in front of me.

When I look back at her she has snapped a bra into place and pulled on a new pair of panties and she sends me a glare before continuing on in more Spanish and pulling her gray wrap dress over her head before going into our bathroom, not bothering to close the door as she lets her hair down and brushes through it, putting on a little makeup as well.

I sigh as I get up from the bed and walk myself to the closest to get dressed, it was clear whatever was all going on was going to involve me as well and sleep was not something I would be getting this morning. I was now more thankful than ever that I was able to take a nap on shift.

I finish getting dress and move to the bathroom with Gabby to brush my teeth. Gabby has finally quieted as she applies her makeup in the mirror beside me and I take a moment to take in her flustered state. I'd only met her parents a total of 3 times and Gabby had never been this stressed around them. I knew that her stress from all of this was because of the pregnancy and the lack of relationship between the two of us that I knew her parents weren't happy with.

Gabby finishes off and makes her way back into the bedroom and puts her earrings in and starts ranting again and I quickly finish up and come to stand in front of her. _"... esto va a ser horrible!"_

I rest my hands on her shoulders to still her movements of pacing again and call her name. "Gabby!" When her eyes snap to mine I smile softly. "Breathe." She sighs softly and takes a breath and I can feel her slightly relax under my touch so I give her another reassuring smile. "It's going to be okay. I promise. You're parents love you, and while I might not be there favorite person it will be okay… We'll warm up the breakfast you made… Sorry by the way," I smile sheepishly and she glares softly before cracking a smile. "We will all have breakfast together, we'll talk to your parents, it will be fine. Quit stressing, it's not good for you."

After a moment of deliberation she sighs and nods her head and we are heading out to the kitchen to greet her parents once again.

So, a half an hour later Gabby, Severide, Gabby's parent's, and I all awkwardly sat around our kitchen table and ate our breakfast. The tension was palpable. The only sounds being the scrapping of silverware and the sounds of our chewing.

Severide and I glared at each other a few times across from the table, which only earned us a glare from Gabby. Gabby's parent's glared at me a few times, which earned them a glare from Gabby as well.

It was tense and awkward, and I was beginning to see why Gabby had been so nervous and frustrated. This was awful.

"So, Gabriella, how far along are you?" Her mother asks quietly. I can sense the resentment in her voice for not being told earlier, and while I can understand, it also frustrates me and I have to hold back any biting remarks.

Gabby's parents and I had gotten along great when we were together. Many times Gabby has told me that they'd never taken to one of her boyfriends to well, and once we got engaged, they were ecstatic. I had a feeling that part of their anger towards me was mainly because Gabby and I weren't together, and how the breakup had gone down. I wasn't sure how much of it Gabby had told them, but from what I did know she had told them that it was just as much her own fault, but they hadn't taken to that idea. Her parents were disappointed that we weren't together, and while that made me feel good in some ways, to know that they liked me enough to feel so much towards our split, it also frustrated me for Gabby's sake.

I knew now that we were having a child together and weren't together it would only have them more disappointed, but I hadn't expected her parents to be this upset. Maria and Carlos were intimidating people when they were acting this way I quickly realized.

Gabby swallows thickly and looks at her with a timid smile. "I uh, I'm about 25 weeks along, Mom."

Maria's eyes widen as she takes in that news. "Wait, so you… you were pregnant before the two of you?" She questions in confusion and Gabby nods while I sit silently, almost afraid to speak out of turn. "Lord, Gabriella, how long did you know about this pregnancy before telling us?" She asks, clearing becoming exasperated. I watch Carlos rest a hand on hers in an attempt to calm his wife and I'm honestly shocked to see him seeming to take all of this better than Maria.

Gabby looks away from her mother ashamed before meeting her eyes and shrugging softly. "I didn't know I was pregnant till I was about 11 weeks along… It took me a little while to tell Matt, and after that things were changing with me moving in and I don't know… I'd only known for a little over 2 months before I told you…"

"Two months too long..." Her mother grumbles only to be reprimanded by Carlos and a hurt expression fills Gabby's features.

"Maria…"

"Mom…"

I bite my tongue, not knowing what to say. I knew that Gabby and her mother had a love hate relationship on most things. Her mother and her bonded over cooking and baking. They were usually very close. But Maria also knew how to get on Gabby's last nerve and make her feel at her worst. Gabby's mother had always had high hopes that Gabby would become a doctor like she had talked about doing years before, and was disappointed when she never continued to chase those dreams. Though they never talked about it much, Maria would still make a comment, more so a dig at Gabby, about the whole ordeal of her _only_ becoming a PIC as her mother would say.

The situation only intensified when Gabby decided to become a firefighter. Her mother had been upset and though I had missed out on it, I knew that the two had gotten in a heated argument over it all that had left their relationship fractured and they hadn't been the same since. Gabby's calls with her parents became less frequent and when her parents were home from the Dominican Republic their visits and lunch outings very rarely, if ever, happened.

Gabby's mom played nice on the few times I saw her after the engagement, but she had made comments to Gabby about how she and I would be settling down together now that we were engaged. How we would be getting married, starting a family, and she'd told Gabby that she shouldn't become a firefighter because of that. Gabby had been hurt, understandably so, and the last I knew they hadn't talked much at all since that conversation. I knew they had spoken after Gabby and I had broken up, another thing that Gabby had told me her mother had scolded her about, and I knew that Gabby had talked to them a month or so ago to tell them about the baby.

Tears well in Gabby's eyes, she was never much of a crier, but her hormones were starting to affect her more so than ever lately. I rest a hand on her knee trying to comfort her and Kelly and I share a look. He'd sat quietly through this whole thing. Most likely feeling awkward at having being invited out of his room for it in the first place. Things were heated between us from the latest argument we'd gotten into at the firehouse. Things with Scott Rice and Otis getting out of control, and affecting the whole house. Squad vs. Truck all over again. But the look we share is an easy communication, Gabby was our girl, and parent's or not, we weren't going to let her be treated poorly, we would stand up for her.

Just when I'm about to open my mouth to defend Gabby her mother starts speaking again. "Well, how do you expect me to act Carlos!? Gabriella you've always been reckless, especially as a teen, but I thought we were over all that. You've made some bad choices, but I thought you were actually doing a good thing here. Getting engaged, starting a life with a good man, and then you threw all that away and now you are going to be a mother in 3 months…"

I clench my jaw as Maria goes on and Gabby's father tries to intervene once again. "Maria!" But she continues on and I watch Gabby as she clenches her jaw and holds back the tears that have welled in her brown eyes.

"You're having a baby and you couldn't even tell your parent's until you'd almost popped the kid out. You're going to be a mother Gabriella, do you have any idea how much responsibility that is? My God, you weren't raised this way. You are not even with the father, just shacking up together. Is he even the father?"

"Maria!" Carlos hollers, beating me too it, too dumbstruck by the words that have been spoken to even retaliate. Silence fills the air for a moment before Gabby's harsh and hurt voice fills the air.

"How dare you… I'm not a child Mom! Quit treating me like a stupid 16 year-old that got pregnant by some guy she didn't know at a party! I'm 27 years old, Matt and I were together and engaged when I got pregnant so don't act like this was some horrible mistake or that I'm some slut! This might not be happening like you wanted it too, but that doesn't matter, sorry for another disappointment. This is happening, whether you'll be here to be a part of it or not." Tears stream down Gabby's cheeks as she shakes with anger and she's out of her seat a moment later and rushing out the door.

I call after her, but she keeps going, the door echoes behind her as her mother looks on shocked. I get up to follow her but her father is out of his seat first, putting a hand up to stop my movements.

"I got her." He says softly, throwing a reprimanding look at his wife before stepping out of the apartment. While Gabby and Maria's relationship had always been rocky, Gabby and her father were always close. Gabby was a daddy's girl, no doubt about it. I knew if anyone could calm her down it would be him.

So Kelly and I are left with her mother and I try to control the anger that courses through me.

After a few minutes of complete silence from all of us Maria shakes her head and stands from the table. "Gabriella was always one for the dramatics." She laughs softly, brushing it all off as she starts collecting the dishes.

I look at her in utter shock for a moment before scuffing and shaking my own head.

"You know, Maria, I've bitten my tongue for long enough. You're daughter deserves better than all of this. Gabby is an amazing woman, and she is going to be an amazing mother, much better than the one that raised her apparently. You don't give her the credit she deserves and you never have. Quit treating your daughter like shit, or I can promise you that you won't get to know your grandson to do the same to him." I get up from my seat as Maria looks on at me in shock and head to the door, not missing the smirk that Severide throws my way.

_**Dawson**_

It only takes less than a couple minutes for my father to find me, not that I am surprised. I had a feeling either he or Matt would be the one to come after me. I was kind of happy it was my father. We hadn't gotten to speak other than pleasantries today. He was never a man of many words unless it was a one on one conversation. My mother was always the more eccentric one of the two.

My father reminded me of Chief Boden in many ways. He was a tall man with broad shoulders and tan skin. His eyes were dark and his hair was brown. His eyes were large, like my own, and I was told on many occasions I got my button nose from him. He had a light dust of facial hair along his cheeks and chin and a full mustache on his upper lip, something he'd had since I was a teen. I could barely remember a time when he didn't have that facial hair. But it was his presence that reminded me of the Chief. Both men made you feel at ease. They could both capture a room's attention just be entering it and they were both two of the kindest, and most noble men I had ever known.

He gives me a gentle smile and takes a seat next to me on the bench down the street from the apartment. I hadn't gotten very far, not that I had wanted to. I'd just needed some space, to get some air, and to get away from my mother. It hadn't always been that way between us. At one point we'd had a great relationship. I'd been a wild teenager and my mother and I had a rough relationship because of it. Once I went off to college and moved out our relationship was better. We'd have lunch dates, bake together, all sorts of things. We had gotten a long great. That only lasted a few years before her disappointments from me never following her dreams of me becoming a doctor fell through. Things only slowly escalated from there. Our relationship was strained, at best.

I sigh softly and look over at my father. I'd always been a daddy's girl. He'd always been there for me and it'd been nice to be so close with him since my mother and I were so strained. Antonio was my mother's golden child, and while my father and Antonio also got along great, I was my father's golden child.

"I know I shouldn't have spoken to Mom like that I just…" I trail off with a sigh, not even knowing what to say.

My father smirks in amusement, simply use to my mother and I's outbursts. "Your mother has always known how to hit where it hurts."

I roll my eyes but nod and after a beat of silence decide to tell him what was running through my mind. That's the thing that I've always loved about my father. He never pushed you to talk, not at all, but somehow just his presence was enough to make you want to open up to him. "I don't know… I guess a part of me thought maybe she'd be happy, excited about this baby, even if she didn't agree with how it was all happening. She was so excited about Diego and Eva. I guess I just hoped she would look past all of the other stuff going on and be excited with me… That maybe her and I could bond over this." I say softly and then shake my head. "Clearly I thought wrong."

He rests a hand over mine comfortingly and smiles softly. "Your mother is… well she's your mother. She see's things in her own light and it's almost always differently than how everyone else see's it. You know that. She just… I think she's hurt right now. She had a picture in her head on how your life would go and when you stepped out of that picture and followed your own beat she didn't know what to do." He runs a hand through his hair and I look at him intently, taking in his words. "As a parent you want what is best for your child. You want to see them succeed. You get a vision in your head on how their life will go, how successful and happy they'll be. Your mother still has that picture and she doesn't do well with change. She doesn't know how to accept the change in that picture in her head to fit what you want for yourself and not what she wants for you."

I nod, trying to absorb those words. Trying to understand what he's saying. Trying to see things through my mother's eyes. It doesn't work very well and I growl lightly in frustration. "She's just so… so frustrating!"

My father laughs and wraps an arm around the back of the bench and I let myself rest into his side. "I'm well aware darling." I chuckle softly at that.

We sit in silence for a while before he speaks again. His words meaning everything to me. "I'm proud of you, you know?" I look up at him surprised and he kisses the top of my head before looking away, staring off as he usually did. "No matter what your mother says, you are doing well for yourself. You chased _your_ dreams. You became a firefighter. A hell of a firefighter from what I hear. You met a good man who clearly loves you." I go to interject and my father silences me. "Oh, don't even tell me the two of you are just friends. You don't see the way that boy looks at you Gabriella, and you him. You'll get there. Don't give up on that… And you're going to be a mother. An amazing mother. I know you will be, baby girl. And Matthew, well he's going to be a great dad. I don't doubt that for a second. The two of you will be great parents."

I smile thankfully at him and wipe at the tears that have gathered in my eyes. He always knew what to say. "Your mother will come around. I promise. When she meets that baby, nothing else will matter."

"Jesse…" I tell him and he looks at me curiously. "It's a boy. We're naming him Jesse. Jesse Andrew Casey." I say, pulling away and meeting his eyes as they light up and he smiles brightly.

"I love it." He comments and pulls me into a tight hug. I spot Matt over his shoulder as we part and smile softly at him.

"Hey."

My father turns and notices him as well and stands from his place kissing my forehead and giving me a reassuring smile before turning to Matt. He shakes his hand and I hear him tell Matt… "Take care of them." Before he heads back to the apartment.

Matt smiles and raises a brow at me curiously and I can only shrug before he takes a seat next to me.

"Well, that was interesting…" He jokes and earns the chuckle from me that he was aiming for. I shove him lightly and he smirks back at me. "You okay?"

I smile back reassuringly. "Yeah. I will be."

I let my head fall to his shoulder and wrap my arm around his, holding on to him. "We're okay, right?" I ask timidly. Things had been tense, and I wanted to erase that. I wanted us to at least get back to the light and fun friendship that we'd grown since I'd moved back in.

I feel him nod against me and I can feel the smile on his lips when he kisses the top of my head before resting his head on top of mine. "Of course we are."

_**Casey**_

Gabby and I head back to the apartment not too long after.

I step into the baby room and Severide follows after me a few moments later.

"You ever gonna tell her you finished the baby furniture or just leave her to stew about it awhile longer?" He jokes lightly and I grin before shaking my head.

"She's got a lunch date tomorrow with Brett. Going to sneak the furniture in while she's out and surprise her after shift the next day after I get it all put together." I tell him.

He smiles and nods. "She's going to love it… and hate you for stressing her out about it."

I laugh, I was well aware of that. "I'm hoping she'll be too happy about the furniture to have the time to be mad at me." I say rubbing the back of my neck.

I knew hiding this from Gabby was risky, but I'd wanted to be the one to make our baby's furniture. I wanted to do it and I knew Gabby would love the custom furniture. I'd planned to have it finished a month ago, but with the strip club renovation coming up I didn't have as much time to work on the furniture as I had originally planned out when I'd decided to make the furniture. I knew the extra time waiting on the furniture was stressing Gabby out and I hated doing it, but I was excited to get the furniture in here and the smile I knew would be on her face when she seen it all.

"Listen, Casey, I know you've got a lot going on right now… I just wanted to apologize for everything on shift…"

"Hey, we both got a little out of line defending our guys…"

"I know, but I… You were right. Otis, Cruz, all of 51 has been my family for years, and I shouldn't have sided with an old friend before looking into everything."

I nod my head, agreeing with him completely. "So you're going to look into it?"

Severide nods his head. "I am. Before next shift. I'll let you know what I find good or bad. We can talk to the Chief together. Hopefully resolve all the mess in house."

"I appreciate that." I tell him sincerely and he flashes me the famous Severide grin.

"Well, what can I say? It seems you have a big enough mess at home to sort through." He jokes and I roll my eyes at him but can't help but nod, it had definitely been an interesting day, but it felt good knowing that Severide and Gabby and I had all resolved our issues. Or at the very least were taking a step in the right direction after weeks of tension.

Maria and Carlos leave a little while later after Gabby and Maria had retreated to our bedroom for a talk, only to come back almost an hour later wiping tears from their eyes. After a hug from both of her parents and a promise to keep them updated on the baby they left. I knew Gabby and her mother's relationship was going to take more than just one talk, but it seemed they had also taken a step in the right direction and Gabby was feeling much better about it all.

After the craziness of the day the three of us ordered pizza and watched a couple movies together in the living room. Severide lounging in the recliner while Gabby laid against me on the sofa. Half way through our second movie, long after the pizza had been finished I felt Gabby fall asleep against me and had woken her up to head to bed. She hadn't needed any convincing on the matter and went openly. Severide headed off to his room not long after, neither of us having gotten to nap after shift like we usually did.

I sat up for a little while longer. Thinking about how crazy the day had been and feeling relieved that the tension was out of the apartment.

Just as I was finishing up cleaning the kitchen to head off to bed my cell phone rang. "Hello."

"Hey Casey, It's Antonio."

"Oh, hey Antonio. What's up?" I ask confused, not knowing why he would call so late.

"We have a problem. We're hearing some chatter that Nesbitt has got a new shipment of girls coming in in a few days… We need you to go undercover again…"

"Antonio…" I try cutting off, only to be interrupted.

"I know, I know. We promised no more, but this is big Casey. We need you to be in the club that night, to be with Nesbitt when those girls come in."

I'd only gone undercover once since this whole ordeal with Antonio started a few weeks ago and it had gone well for the most part… only because I had thrown the wire they put on my phone before Nesbitt's guys could find it.

"Antonio, last time…"

"Casey, man, I know. But it's the only way. I promise we will be more careful this time… Look, I'll talk to you more tomorrow about it, but I need you to get your next shift off at 51."

"Yeah, got it." I say softly, already running through all the bad scenarios that could happen.

After a few more brief words Antonio and I say goodbye and I drop my phone on the counter and run my hands through my hair with a sigh. This wasn't what I wanted to be doing. I was tired of hiding it from Gabby and I was tired of hiding it from everyone else. I was tired of being terrified something would go wrong every time I stepped foot in the club. I was tired of worrying whether or not I was going to be able to meet my son or tell Gabby how much I loved her, because I knew if Nesbitt found out he'd likely kill me.

After almost an hour of trying to calm myself down and failing I headed to bed, needing to hold Gabby close and feel our little man growing healthily inside of her.

When I crawl into bed Gabby roles over sleepily and snuggles into my side and I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, never wanting to let her go.

"You were up for a while." She mumbles, her voice thick with sleep.

I tense for a moment, "I uh, yeah I just got caught up in that movie." I lie easily, knowing I could tell her the truth, but not wanting to worry her. I knew her worry would probably be ten times what my own fears were. Gabby accepts this and I listen to her sigh contently as she snuggles closer to me.

Gabby falls asleep quickly and I stay awake awhile after. My mind too focused on the club and another undercover operation that I'd be a part of.

I feel Jesse kick against my hand that rests on Gabby's stomach and smile softly.

I would do anything to come home to the two of them. I would do anything to keep them safe.

**Thanks for reading! Hope you are all still with me on this story. **

**Leave a review and let me know what you thought please! **

**Review, review. **

**XxXx**


	16. Stilettos

**A/N: So sorry for the wait on this, my motivation has been nonexistent, but I am trying to get back into it! Thank you all for being patient with me and sticking by me. **

**This one isn't as long as the last couple of chapters, but I really wanted to get something out for you all. Hope this is up to par, it's been awhile since I've written anything. **

**Enjoy!**

_I own nothing._

_**Casey**_

Waking up the next morning I can feel Gabby moving against me in her sleep. Her head rolling lightly on my chest and her body withering in anguish. I look at her in confusion for a moment as I become fully aware of what's happening and start to rub her back gently as she lay in my arms. Hoping to wake her from whatever dream she was having. I say her name softly and a few moments later her eyes are fluttering open and staring off in confusion.

"Hey," I whisper, not wanting to startle her and her eyes move to mine. "You okay?"

She gives me an unreadable expression when she looks me over before letting out a relieved sigh. "I uh, yeah, I'm good."

She snuggles closer to me, holding on to me and I stare down at her oddly as she stares off once again. "Bad dream?" I prod.

After a moment of hesitation she nods. "Yeah… They say pregnant ladies have weird dreams." She tries to play it off, but I can see that whatever she dreamt about bothered her. She was holding on to me and closer than she had been in weeks, not that I'd ever complain about that. I was happy the tension was mostly away from us and that she had warmed back up to me again. I was just confused as to her behavior right now. The looks she was giving me going from completely unreadable, to relieved, to almost scared. I wasn't sure what was running through her head.

"Everything is okay? I mean at work, at the strip club, your other construction jobs… everything is good?" She asks timidly, the worry in her voice evident.

Her question freezes me for a moment. I know this is my out, my chance to tell her what's going on at the strip club, to come clean, but with the worry already evident in her features I don't want to worry her more. So, I shake my head and say reassuringly, "Yeah, of course. Everything is fine, Gabs." I tell her, hoping she doesn't see through me.

She stares at me for another beat before shaking her head and giving me a soft smile. "Yeah, yeah… I'm sure it was nothing." She moves to get out of bed and I grab her arm and turn her back to me before she can get far and she sits on the bed staring down at me.

"You sure you're alright?"

She looks away from me before meeting my eyes. "It was just a bad dream. I just… something happened to you and I don't even know what… It was weird. Just freaked me out a bit." She says softly and see's the look of concern on my face and gives me a reassuring smile. "I'm fine… You're fine… We are all fine." She laughs softly and I give her my best smile hoping to reassure her and myself, and hoping that she doesn't question me again because I knew I'd be telling her the truth if she continued this unknown guilt trip.

She moves towards the door and hesitates with her hand on the knob before turning back around wringing her hands together and biting her lip. "Just uh, just promise me you'll be careful? At work and, well, just all the time…" She says meeting my eyes and I can still see the worry in hers that she is trying to push away. She smiles gently, her hand coming to rest on her stomach. "We're not ready to lose you yet."

She has no idea what those words do to me. My fear of going undercover again at the forefront of my mind. My fear of not being with her, not being able to hold Jesse, all coming back to me. I take an audible breath and nod my head, trying to give her a reassuring smile and hoping it doesn't fall short. "Cross my heart," I tell her softly, making the motion with my hand and watching the smile that fills her features.

She's out the door a moment later and I am left lying there trying to get my thoughts straight, wondering how much convincing it would take to get me out of this next undercover trip with Antonio.

_**Dawson**_

"Hey! How are you?" Sylvie chirps as we spot each other at the small diner that we had decided to meet up at for lunch. She pulls me into a hug, or as best as we can with my protruding stomach.

"I'm good. Hungry." I laugh and she joins in a moment later as we pull away from each other.

"You look great, Gabs. Pregnancy looks good on you." She comments as we stroll into the diner and find a table.

I smile softly and run my hand over my stomach subconsciously. "Thanks, Brett."

We take our seat and order something to drink and as we are waiting for them Brett looks me over. "So really, how are you? How is everything at casa Casey's?" She asks and I chuckle.

"It's not too bad. I mean it is nice having him and Kelly both around. They've been really great." I tell her honestly.

She smiles. "So, you and Casey, how are you two doing?"

I sigh. "We… are taking it slow, I guess. Just friends. Taking it one step at a time… Ever since a few weeks ago when we got a little carried away and he pulled back, things had been tense. Neither of us really knew how to be around each other, still trying to navigate the whole only friend's thing, but having a baby together."

"…And having feelings for each other." Sylvie finishes for me.

"I don't know about that."

Sylvie scuffs and shakes her head. "Oh, come on. You two are so in love it's sick. The way you look at or talk about each other, it's obvious, Gabs. Trust me."

I shake my head. "He pulled away, Sylvie. I mean we were there, we were taking the next step, and he stopped it. I just… I don't know what's going through his head, but I won't go there again. I can't put myself out there again and have him not want the same things… It's too hard." I tell her softly, confessing my feelings out loud about the whole situation for the first time.

"Gabby, I might not know Casey all that well, but it is so painstakingly obvious that that man loves you. I don't know why he pulled away… but maybe you just need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It's worth a shot."

"I don't know…" I say unsure. Fearful that if I tried once again with Matt to break down the barriers we would end up where we were weeks before. "I just don't want to mess up what we have going on. We're doing well with this friend's thing now and I don't want to screw it up. It's not just us to think of anymore." I say, running my hand along my stomach once more.

Before Sylvie can reply the waiter is setting our drinks down and taking our orders. We sit in silence sipping at our ice teas before Sylvie speaks again, not letting the conversation go just yet.

"Listen, I get your hesitation. Things haven't been easy for you two since I met you, so I get it. I get not wanting to screw it up, or get back into a messy situation and I respect you both for worrying more about the unborn baby than you do your own feelings. But Gabs, you have 3 months till the baby is here and discussing a relationship or trying to jump the hurdle to get back into a relationship is just going to become harder when you have a newborn on your hip. You love Casey, and despite your reservation, he loves you. Life is short. You'll never know what could be unless you take a leap at it." She tells me, and I can only nod, absorbing the words and taking them to heart. It was such a Shay thing to say, the kick in the butt I need that it took my breath away for a moment as I thought of my other blonde friend. I smiled thankfully at Sylvie.

"I'll think about it, I promise." I reassure and Sylvie nods, satisfied with my answer.

After a beat of silence Sylvie starts laughing. "So, tell me about this terrible parent's visit yesterday…" She laughs and I join her, remembering the SOS text I had sent out to her yesterday when my parents arrived, only to have her already having plans with Joe. "Sorry I couldn't be your savior." She jokes.

We both laugh and I spend the duration before our food arrives explaining the crazy day with my parents to Sylvie.

_**Severide**_

As excited as I was to be an 'uncle' to Casey and Dawson baby, I was really hoping that taking care of a child would be a lot easier than putting together a handmade wooden chair.

Matt and I had spent the majority of the day setting up the baby's room with all of the hand built furniture Matt had made. The task was proving to be more difficult than I had expected. Matt on the other hand had already finished putting the last of the dresser together and was working on the crib while I was still trying to work the damn rocking chair.

Leave it to him to build the furniture but leave it till last minute to actually put the pieces together.

I couldn't complain much though, I knew Gabby's face when she saw the finished product would be worth it, even if this chair was royally kicking my ass. She had no idea of all the work Matt had been putting in and I knew that she was becoming increasingly frustrated with excuses for not being able to go baby shopping. He'd been doing everything in his power to side track her from the task and after shift tomorrow we would reveal the room to her.

Decided that I needed a little distraction from the silence, and this damn chair, I look over at Casey as he focuses on the task at hand. It was getting harder every day for me to just sit back and watch while my two best friend's side stepped around their feelings. They were both driving me insane, and once again, I decided to take my chances with stirring the pot for them.

"You know I remember the first day Dawson showed up to 51. All long black hair and fire in her eyes. She was sassy and stubborn as ever, even then." I watch Matt smile genuinely. Obviously thinking of a 21 year old Gabriella Dawson, who very quickly made her way into all of our hearts that first day. "You know I hit on her the first time we met?"

Matt scuffs at me. "You did not." He mutters.

I laugh, knowing it's probably getting a rise out of him thinking of anyone else with Gabby but him, no matter if it was only me, and it was 7 years ago and nothing happened. "Oh yes I did. You know how I was back then. I hit on her right away, she was hot." I watch Matt tense considerably at my comment and have to stifle a laugh as he continues to try and ignore me and puts the crib together. "But I didn't stand a chance. She barely even acknowledged my advances." He smiles smugly, but continues to try and ignore me. "You wanna know why?"

"Why's that Kel? Your charm and good looks just didn't shine through that day?" He asks me grumpily, letting me know I was definitely getting a rise out of him.

I laugh at his remark. "No. She'd already been introduced to you."

Casey scuffs, but actually meets my eyes this time. Interested in this conversation now.

"I'm serious. I don't know how you went so long without knowing it. That girl has been in love with you since your first meeting Casey. Basically everyone in the house could tell there was something between the two of you. Chief and I had a bet going years ago how long it would take you two to get together. You know at one point you two had become such close friends that Darden and I use to joke that you were cheating on Hallie with Dawson."

"I would never…"

"I know, I know. You aren't that kind of guy, but it was funny at the time. Watching the two of you going round and round. I'd known since day one Gabby liked you, but the day I realized just how much that girl loved you was the day we almost lost you. That day in the ambulance, when you hit your head in that building fire last year…"

"Kelly…" Matt goes to cut me off but I ignore him. He needed this. He needed to realize that the games the two of them were playing now were pointless. They loved each other then just as much as they did now, if not more.

"In all the years of knowing Dawson I had never seen her lose her cool during a call. She always had it together, no matter how angry she may get or emotional she may get on a call, she kept her cool and did her job. I mean, she had her moments, we all do in this job, but for the most part she kept it together for as much of a hot head as she is. But that day in the ambulance with you, she was a mess, not that I could blame her, you scared the hell out of us all that day. But Gabby… it was obvious how much she loved you. You might think I never paid attention to any of that stuff, but I did. You two are two of my best friends, of course I did." I watch Matt process my words for a moment, letting them sink in before I continue.

"I'd known for a while that you loved Gabby. Watching you two in the firehouse or out at Molly's after you got together, it was obvious to me and anyone else who saw you. But I think the day I really understood how much you loved her was the day of the Chicago Med bombing, when Gabby was lost in the rubble. You didn't give it a second thought before you broke every rule in the book and dove into the rubble to find her. Probably one of the dumbest things I'd ever seen you do on the job."

"You followed me…" He quips, trying to lighten the severity of what he had done and the conversation at hand.

"Well I couldn't let you go down there being the hero all on your own now could I?" I joke. "When we found her. I don't think I'd ever seen you more relieved in all the years of knowing you…" I sigh. "Look man, what I'm trying to say is you two loved each other then and you love each other now. So quit playing these games. They aren't helping either of you. Last year, this year too in the matter of months the two of you both almost lost your lives multiple times. The jobs we work, you never know what could happen. Hell life in general, no matter what you work. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed for anyone. You and Dawson love each other. You live together. You work together. You sleep in the same damn bed for God's sake. You are having a baby together. Who cares about all the other stuff? Forget the past, forget the pain you caused each other, and forget all of your guy's stupid excuses and just be together. Be happy." My eyes trail over to the framed picture of the two of us with Gabby and Shay tucked in to our sides that Matt had hung up just this morning on the baby blue walls, claiming that the four people that loved Jesse most needed to be the first thing brought into the room. Matt catches what I'm looking at and I shake my head and don't meet his eyes again as I continue working on the rocking chair. "Life's too short, you know?"

_**Casey**_

We sit in silence for a long time. Neither of us knowing what to say as we both mull over the words that had left Kelly's mouth. My thoughts clouded with my relationship with Gabby. Thinking of what was, what is, and what could be.

It was the 'what could be' that scared me. The 'what was' had left us both reeling. I didn't want the past to come back to bite us in the ass and have us making the same mistakes again. We'd hurt each other enough and I wasn't sure we could survive another failed relationship with each other. Somehow we were able to salvage our friendship after all the hurt and if it all went downhill again, this time with our son in the mix to worry about, the end result was something that I didn't want to see.

I sigh in frustration before finally deciding to tell Kelly the truth.

"You, uh, you know that construction job at the strip club that I've been taking on…" I say softly, not sure if I wanted to know what Kelly's reaction to all of this would be.

He meets my eyes and nods. I look away sighing once again, I still couldn't believe the mess I had gotten myself into.

"I…"

"If you're about to tell me you hooked up with a stripper…"

Kelly trails off, the teasing tone so evident in his voice that I find myself laughing softly.

"Uh, no."

I'm silent for awhile longer, deciding how to choose my words when Kelly intervenes. "Casey, what is it man?"

"I uh, I'm working with the CPD undercover at the club…"

"You what?"

"When I took the job it was just for some extra cash for the baby, you know? Just adding on another room for the owner, Jack. It was no big deal. A couple weeks after I started there Voight and Antonio approached me. This guy, Jack, I guess he's in to some shady things. The club, it traffics girls, Kelly."

"Damn…" He sighs out.

"Voight and Antonio asked me to wear a wire during a business meeting with Jack, and I thought it would just be the one time, but that wasn't the case. These guys are slick about their business… I uh, I've been lying to Gabby about… well, all of it… I didn't want to worry her and stress her out more than she has been."

"Matt, you've got to tell her the truth…"

"I know, I know… I just. Tomorrow, I'm taking a personal day off shift… I have to go undercover again. They're taking the club down tomorrow when a new shipment of girls comes in, this will be the last time. When it's all said and done I'll tell her…" I say, hoping that Gabby wouldn't kill me once she learned the truth.

"Casey, Gabby's 6 months pregnant, not stupid. She's going to find out what's going on… Don't you think telling her the truth would be less stress on her?" He tries.

I shake my head. "If I told her now she would never let me go tomorrow."

Kelly simply shrugs. "Maybe that wouldn't be the worst thing, man." I give him a look and he continues, his voice rising slightly as he tries to get his point across. "Casey, you're a firefighter! You're not a damn cop. You're not James Bond, and this is really starting to sound like some 007 shit. What'd you gonna do if shit hits the fan, pull out a halligan and start swinging at the bullets?"

I sigh, though I know all his points were true, his words echoing the thoughts that I'd been having ever since Antonio had called me last night. "Kelly."

He shakes his head. "No, Casey. You've got a kid on the way and a girl that loves you. What the hell are you doing? Better yet, why the hell is Antonio letting you do this?" He barks, frustration, and though he'd never admit it, fear, in his voice.

I shake my head, I had no answer for him. I didn't know what to say. I knew this was a terrible idea. I knew that it was dangerous and stupid, I didn't need Kelly telling me so too. "Just, don't tell Gabby, please." I tell him, wanting to end this conversation now.

He scuffs, clearly he wasn't just going to forget about this and let it go. After a few beats of silence where we had both silently gone back to work he sets the pieces he was working with down and stands. "What do you want me to tell, Gabby?" I look at him confused, I thought I'd just said not to tell her. "Or Jesse?" I look at him even more confused as he stares at me with his jaw locked. "You know, once he gets old enough and starts asking question about where Daddy is…"

I pick up on what he's insinuating and close my eyes, taking a deep breathe. "Don't." I warn. "God, why are you of all people making such a big deal about this?! If the roles were reversed you'd be doing the same damn thing, Kelly!" I holler back.

"Because I don't have a son to be born in 3 months and I don't have a girl waiting at home that I'm too chicken shit to tell that I love! God dammit, Casey, you're being selfish! You've got all these great things going on and you're pissing it away and I for one am not going to sit around and watch you do it!" He hollers, throwing the tool he held down and storming out of the room. I hear the echo of the front door slamming closed seconds later and sigh in frustration. It was hard to be mad at Kelly when everything he had said was true.

His words haunt me the rest of the day. Well after I had finished putting the baby furniture together and long after I had completely finished setting up the room.

It's a little after nine when I hear the front door open and Gabby calling out that she was home only to be greeted with her tired face a few moments later as she enters the bedroom.

"Hey, how was your girl's day?"

She smiles brightly. Throwing her purse and the few bags she had down on the floor and kicking her shoes off before plopping down onto the bed beside me. "Tiring." She laughs. "Who would have thought a simply shopping day would become so exhausting when you're pregnant." She says, finishing with a yawn.

I smile softly and chuckle at her words as she sends me a smile of her own. "What'd you do today?" She questions.

I shrug. "Nothing much. A construction job most of the day." I say, knowing it was only slightly lying. Gabby heads off to the bathroom soon after to get ready for bed and once she returns we are both snuggling under the covers and holding each other close. I knew that right now was do or die time. I could tell Gabby about going undercover tomorrow, or I could keep it to myself. I contemplate it for a while and when I've finally worked up the courage to say something I look down to find her sleeping peacefully in my arms.

Severide's words echo in my head all night, not leaving me to get much sleep, but I don't once try to wake Gabby. There was no way I could tell her what was happening.

I was just protecting her. She didn't need the stress.

Right?

_**Dawson**_

A pounding at the door wakes me from my peaceful sleep. I look around at Matt's empty side of the bed and check the clock. It was nearly midnight. I throw on one of Matt's sweaters as I grumble my whole way to the door. If our rowdy neighbor was trying to get into the wrong apartment again I was going to kill him.

I swing the door open and any rant I had planned on going off on is cut off when I come face to face with Kelly. "Kelly?" I mumble, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The look on his face makes my blood run cold and it only takes me a beat to realize that the Chief is standing behind him. Both with solemn looks on their faces.

Matt.

"Gabs…" Kelly starts and I can feel the tears sting my eyes.

"Kelly…" I whimper. "No…"

"Gabriella." Chief starts, only for me to cut him off, the tears falling freely down my face now.

"What? What happened? Where is he?" I ask franticly, not missing the look the two of them share.

"He's at Lakeshore. Come on, we'll take you." Kelly says softly, there is an edge to his voice that I don't understand, but don't question.

I'm out the door a second later, not bothering with changing or grabbing any of my belonging, nothing else mattered right now. Kelly wraps and arm around me and hold me close as we walk down the hall, the tears silently falling down my cheeks. Why weren't they telling me anything?

"What happened? Is he okay?" I question once again, and once again don't miss the look that Kelly and Boden share.

Chief is about to say something once we step outside, but I'm cutting him off when I spot Truck 81, Squad 3, and the Chief's vehicle all sitting outside our apartment. I look at them incredulously. "You left him alone? Who's with him? Why isn't someone there?" I ask them just as franticly.

Kelly takes a deep breath. "Your brother is with him, Gabs…"

I look at them both in utter confusion. "Wha, what? Why is Antonio with Matt?"

Its Chiefs turn to talk. "Casey wasn't on shift, Gabriella."

"What do you mean he wasn't on shift?" I ask, my anger growing as well as my worry. What the hell was going on?

"He was working with your brother, Gabs…" Kelly says softly, continuing before I can question him further. "Casey was working undercover for PD in the strip club..." I can hear the bitterness in Kelly's voice.

My eyes widen as I stare Kelly down before looking to the Chief for confirmation in which he nods in reply. Chief's next words send a shiver throughout my whole body and sob to leave my lips, my hand instinctively going to my stomach.

"He was shot, Gabriella…"

**Don't hate me…**

**Review and let me know what you thought! Hoping my motivation sticks around and I can get some more chapters out very soon. **

**Review, Review, Review.**

**XxX**


	17. Every Thought, Every Prayer

**A/N: I am so so sorry for the wait on this! I didn't even realize how long it had been since updating this, but here it is now! Thanks to those that are still sticking by me with this story even if I am a terrible updater lately. Please let me know what you think! **

_**Dawson**_

_A pounding at the door wakes me from my peaceful sleep. I look around at Matt's empty side of the bed and check the clock. It was nearly midnight. I throw on one of Matt's sweaters as I grumble my whole way to the door. If our rowdy neighbor was trying to get into the wrong apartment again I was going to kill him. _

_I swing the door open and any rant I had planned on going off on is cut off when I come face to face with Kelly. "Kelly?" I mumble, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The look on his face makes my blood run cold and it only takes me a beat to realize that the Chief is standing behind him. Both with solemn looks on their faces. _

_Matt. _

"_Gabs…" Kelly starts and I can feel the tears sting my eyes. _

"_Kelly…" I whimper. "No…"_

"_Gabriella." Chief starts, only for me to cut him off, the tears falling freely down my face now. _

"_What? What happened? Where is he?" I ask frantically, not missing the look the two of them share. _

"_He's at Lakeshore. Come on, we'll take you." Kelly says softly, there is an edge to his voice that I don't understand, but don't question._

_I'm out the door a second later, not bothering with changing or grabbing any of my belonging, nothing else mattered right now. Kelly wraps and arm around me and holds me close as we walk down the hall, the tears silently falling down my cheeks. Why weren't they telling me anything?_

"_What happened? Is he okay?" I question once again, and once again don't miss the look that Kelly and Boden share. _

_Chief is about to say something once we step outside, but I'm cutting him off when I spot Truck 81, Squad 3, and the Chief's vehicle all sitting outside our apartment. I look at them incredulously. "You left him alone? Who's with him? Why isn't someone there?" I ask them just as frantically. _

_Kelly takes a deep breath. "Your brother is with him, Gabs…"_

_I look at them both in utter confusion. "Wha, what? Why is Antonio with Matt?"_

_Its Chiefs turn to talk. "Casey wasn't on shift, Gabriella."_

"_What do you mean he wasn't on shift?" I ask, my anger growing as well as my worry. What the hell was going on?_

"_He was working with your brother, Gabs…" Kelly says softly, continuing before I can question him further. "Casey was working undercover for PD in the strip club..." I can hear the bitterness in Kelly's voice. _

_My eyes widen as I stare Kelly down before looking to the Chief for confirmation in which he nods in reply. Chief's next words send a shiver throughout my whole body and sob to leave my lips, my hand instinctively going to my stomach. _

"_He was shot, Gabriella…"_

He was shot. It the only thing that runs through my mind on the excruciating 10-minute drive to Chicago Med. Matt was shot. He was working undercover at a strip club, with my brother no less, and he was shot.

It takes far more time to get to the hospital than I like and my heart beats frantically the whole drive. I was so confused. So scared. I had no idea what was happening. Matt was working undercover with CPD, with Antonio, at a strip club. He wasn't at work all day. He was there, and he was shot…

They guys don't know anything, they got the call from Antonio about what had happened and came to get me first thing so Antonio could stay with Matt, at least that's all the information I had gotten out of them. It's probably a good thing Antonio stayed with Matt and didn't come to me, at this rate I was trying my hardest not to think of ways to end my brother's life for all of this.

My hand runs soothingly over my stomach where Jesse was kicking away after being woken by all the excitement. I couldn't even complain about the painful kicks to the back and bladder that I was getting from the little man because it was the only thing reminding me to keep my breathing normal, too slow down my heart rate. To stay as calm as you can possibly be when the guy you love, the father of your child, your best friend, had been shot and you had no idea what the hell was going on.

I'm scared, but I'm also angry. So, so damn angry. Angry at Matt for lying to me, or at least not telling me what he'd been up too, for putting himself in such danger when we have a baby on the way, for being so selfish. I'm angry at Antonio, how could he let Matt do this? How could he let him go undercover, how could he not come to me and tell what was going on, and how, how could he let Matt get shot…

When the Chief pulls up to Chicago Med I'm out of the vehicle before he can put it in park and Kelly and the rest of the guys are racing to catch up to me.

I storm through the doors and it doesn't take much searching for me to find Antonio amongst all the other officers and medical staff that littered the emergency ward.

"Antonio!" I call once I'm only a few feet away from him and I watch as Voight takes a few steps away to allow us to talk. I try to stop the tears that I already feel stinging my eyes from falling. I can feel my whole body shaking not only from fear but anger and from desperately trying to not break down in front of everyone in this ER right now. My voice is low when I finally find words, daring Antonio to lie to me again. "What the hell happened?"

I can see the look in his eyes, the guilt, the fear, the shame. I know that he knows they made the wrong choice in not telling me anything about this, but right now I don't much care. I just want answers.

"Gabby..." Antonio trails off trying to find the words. I'm about to go at him again when the doctor is walking into the room.

"Family of Matthew Casey?" He asks looking up from his clipboard and I am rushing towards him as quickly as my heavily pregnant body will allow.

"How is he?" I question quickly. The doctor looks me up and down before apparently deciding that the pregnant lady in her pajamas was enough of a family explanation.

"Mr. Casey suffered from very severe gunshots. We are preparing him for surgery now."

"Wha, what do you mean severe gunshots?" I question with a sinking feeling in my chest.

The doctor sighs, "Mrs. Casey, your husband was shot in the chest twice. We aren't sure of the extent of the damage. We have yet to stabilize him, but we are hoping to be able to do that in surgery." His pager goes off and he glances at it before giving me a soft smile. "They are ready for me. I will be back to update you as soon as I can." He promises and rests a reassuring hand on my shoulder, taking a glance at my swollen stomach. "Just try and relax, we are taking good care of him." He reassures and I try to give him the best smile I can but I know it comes out weak and he is walking away a moment later.

I take a deep breath and can feel how unbearably tight my throat has gotten as I look around and notice that all of 51 has joined us and the multiple cops that were in the waiting room when I arrived have their attention on us. Antonio steps up to me and rests a hand on my arm but I am pulling away immediately.

"Gabby, I..." He tries, but I am putting a hand up to stop him and give him a look that lets him know I am not to be followed.

"Don't," I warn, and I'm walking away as fast as I can. Down the hall, around a corner, and down another hall. I find a bathroom and am rushing into the nearest stall as the bile in my stomach rises and the tears that I had been holding back since we pulled up to the hospital are racing down my face.

This all too much. This isn't supposed to happen, it can't be. Matt is somewhere in this hospital getting bullets removed from his chest when he is supposed to be at work, at 51. We aren't supposed to be here. Matt isn't supposed to be in surgery and I am not supposed to be almost 7 months pregnant and wondering if he is going to make it out of this.

It's not fair.

None of this is fair.

The bile rises in my stomach again and I am once again leaning over and relieving the contents into the toilet as tears slide down my cheeks. My breaths are labored from all the tears and my stomach is still turning and I know it is only a matter of time before I will be emptying my stomach again if I don't calm myself down. I feel Jesse kicking wildly and I know I'm only working him up as well, I run my hand over my stomach and rest my head against the wall and try to calm down my breathing and the rush of tears that were falling from my eyes. I hear the door open and a moment later Kelly's voice is calling out.

"Dawson?" He questions hesitantly. "You okay?"

I really just want to be alone right now, but I can hear the concern in his voice and I can't bring myself to tell him to go so I push the door open but don't move from my spot on the floor. Kelly walks in and takes in my appearance before kneeling down beside me. He rests his hand on my shoulder and gives it a light squeeze. "It's going to be okay, Dawson. Casey... he's a fighter."

I nod as a few tears fall, "I know, I do. I just... God, Kelly, I'm so _scared_, but I'm also just so _angry_. How could he do this? _Why_ would he do this?" I cry desperately for answers. "Why would he not tell me about this? I know we aren't together so maybe I don't deserve an explanation, but we are having a baby together and he, he has to be here for it Kelly... he has to..." I ramble and the tears are once again falling harshly down my face.

Kelly pulls me into his arms as best as he can in our position and rubs my back. "I know Gabs, I know..." Is all he can say, and I know he must be sharing some of the same feelings I am towards this situation. I don't know how long we stay like that before Kelly is pulling away. "Come on, let's get you up off the floor, go see if we can get an update."

I nod weakly and Kelly is standing and pulling me up before turning to the door. I go to follow behind him but have to stop and brace myself against the wall as a pain shoots through my lower stomach. "Kelly..." I whisper as the pain intensifies.

He turns around and it only takes a moment before I can see the look of horror on his face. "Gabby..."

I look down and it is then that I see the trail of blood that is trailing down my leg. I can barely register it before another sharp pain is radiating through me and I am doubling over in pain. I hear Kelly call my name once more and then everything goes black.

_**Kelly**_

It only takes me a second to react as Gabby's body goes limp and I am catching her before she can hit the floor. "Dawson! Come on Dawson, I got you." I pull her into my arms and lift her carefully before rushing out of the bathroom.

"Help! I need some help down here!" I holler, looking around wildly for any medical staff. Gabby's body is completely still in my arms and I can hear the blood pumping in my ears with how terrified I am. This can't be happening. It can't.

Someone is running up to me a moment later and calling for them to bring a gurney. Gabby is being taken out of my arms and laid on the gurney as everyone surrounds us, I hear none of it, my body in complete shock at what was happening right now.

How was this happening?

"What happened?" One of them is asking me as they check her pulse and are rushing down the hallway, I snap out of my state and start following close behind.

"I don't, I don't know, we were talking and then she was clutching her stomach and bleeding and then she just passed out." I stumble out in shock, all of this was happening so fast.

"BP is dropping!" One of the nurses hollers as we reach one of the ER rooms and they are pulling Dawson inside, out of view. "How far along is she?"

I shake my head trying to think as I am still in complete shock by all of this, "A little over 6 months." The Doctor is nodding and then rushing into the room. I take a step back and look down at my appearance, now covered in blood as well and I can feel the tears in my eyes, this couldn't be happening.

I hear footsteps coming down the hall and when I look up Hermann and Chief are standing in front of me with wide eyes as they take me in. "Severide?"

"What happened?" Chief asks, looking me up and down. "Where is Dawson?" He asks concerned once he realizes she isn't with me and she was who I'd left the waiting room for.

"I, she was... she was talking to me. She was fine, and then she... she was bleeding and..." I stumble over my words, trying to make sense of it all. Hermann's eyes water and his hand comes to rest over his mouth as Chief closes his eyes and lets out a sad sigh, none of us knowing what to say.

After a moment, he rests a hand on my shoulder. "Come one, they'll come find us when they have something. She's going to be okay, Kelly." He reassures, but even I can hear the lack of confidence in his voice. I don't have the energy to argue so I follow along silently, knowing he was right and that we also needed to update everyone else about the new situation.

When we walk back into the waiting room all of 51 and most of the 21st district is there talking quietly, that is until they notice us, well me in particular and most of them are rising to their feet.

"What happened?" Antonio asks and I can't meet his eyes as I take a shaky breath and try to keep my composure, I needed to stay strong.

Chief clears his throat and silences them all before an uproar can begin. "Gabriella, uh, she's with the doctors now. She uh... we aren't really sure what's going on, but the doctors are taking care of her, and I am sure we will have an update on her condition soon."

I didn't think it was possible for the room to get anymore solemn than it was, but once the words have left Chiefs mouth the room becomes eerily quiet. Everyone was either struck with crippling fear over two of the most important people in our lives or just too shocked to form a thought and speak. Antonio practically collapses into the chair behind him and you can see all the energy he had left in him drain from his body, complete exhaustion taking over as he deflates and rests his head in his hands.

Chief shakes his head, as if he is also trying to make sense of all this, but we all know there is no sense to be had, and he walks out of the room for a moment to collect himself, he's back only a minute later after everyone has once again taken their seats silently and when he stands in the middle of the room and opens his mouth all eyes are back on him. "Every thought... every prayer... should be directed down that hallway. Matt and Gabriella need to know we are with them..."

It's only 10 minutes later that the Doctor is walking into the room. "Family of Matthew Casey?" And we are all up on our feet surrounding him. He looks around for a moment before starting in. "Mr. Casey is still in surgery, but we have stabilized him. We have removed the first bullet, and are working on removing the second now..." He pauses as he looks around once more. "I, uh, I'm sorry is Mrs. Casey here?"

Chief interjects before anyone else can and shakes his head solemnly. "Gabriella had some... complications. We are waiting to hear about her condition." He says softly.

The Doctor bows his head before looking back up at us all. "I'm sorry to hear that, I hope she pulls through." We can all only nod in reply. "I'll be back with another update on Mr. Casey as soon as I can." He says before walking away and we all sink back into our chairs and prepare for another few hours of waiting.

I rest my head against the wall and take a deep breath and try to keep the tears that have been in my eyes since Gabby was whisked away at bay. This was all too much. Gabby didn't deserve this. Matt didn't deserve this. I couldn't lose either of them... and God the baby, they couldn't lose the baby. They were my best friends, my roommates, and they were the beating heart of 51.

We couldn't lose either of them.

An hour later a female Doctor is walking into the waiting room looking at a clipboard before looking at all of us. "Family of Gabriella Dawson?"

We are all on our feet and there is a small smile on her face when she looks us all over. "I'm Gabriella's OB, Dr. Jenson."

"What's happening? What's wrong with her? Is the baby okay?" I am quickly rambling before anyone else can interject.

"We ran some tests and were able to perform an ultrasound... Gabriella has a condition called placenta previa. It's usually not found until the second or third trimester of pregnancy. What this means is Gabriella's placenta has attached low on her uterus, it is partially blocking her cervix." She explains.

"What does that mean for her and the baby?" Antonio interjects.

"The baby is fine right now, we have been monitoring him very closely. Gabby, on the other hand, lost a lot of blood. While bleeding is normal with this condition, Gabby's is rather severe so we would like to keep her overnight, at least, to monitor her. She will be put on complete bed rest until the baby is born and will need to be closely monitored to make sure rebleeding does not occur." Dr. Jenson pauses to let us all take this in before she sighs deeply and continues. "Even with all the monitoring in the world there is a very high chance of re-bleeding to occur during the birth, but we are going to do everything we can to take care of the both of them when that time comes... I know this all sounds scary...This is now a very high-risk pregnancy, but that doesn't mean Gabby and the baby can't both live perfectly healthy lives, she is a fighter..."

Some of us try to weakly smile knowing that her words were true, but don't get very far as Gabby's condition sinks in. "Thank you." Chief finally says for us all, always the strong one.

"She is stabilized, I can take two of you back to see her."

Antonio is stepping forward and I am right behind him, no one has the heart to fight either of us on this even though they are all just as worried about our girl, and we are heading down the hall a moment later.

When we step into the room with Dr. Jenson I see a nurse standing over her. She turns back to Dr. Jenson. "She's awake."

At her words I am pushing past the both of them to see for myself, it's then that I meet Gabby's terrified eyes. I take a relaxing breath. "Damn Dawson, you scared the hell out of me," I say and the tears that have been threatening to fall all day are once again in my eyes, but I hold them in, I needed to be strong for Dawson.

Gabby tries to give me a weak smile, but I can see how terrified she is and it's at the moment that I realize she had no idea what was going on. "What's happening? Is the baby, okay?" She directs this question to Dr. Jenson as she steps up to the bed and the nurse leaves the room. Antonio steps up beside me and squeezes Dawson's leg in comfort, but we say nothing and Dr. Jenson starts speaking.

"Gabriella, do you remember anything before you blacked out?" She asks softly and Gabby shakes her head.

"There was a pain... in my stomach. I... oh God, how is Matt?" She asks tears clouding her vision.

Antonio answers first, "Still in surgery. They've stabilized him, just working on getting the second bullet out. We should know more in another hour or two." Gabby rests her head back on the pillow and lets out a shaky sigh. "Let's just worry about you right now, though, alright?" Antonio says comfortingly.

Dr. Jenson takes this as her cue to continue and our eyes are back on her. "Gabby, you lost a lot of blood, now we were able to stop the bleeding and bring your BP back up. You're looking good right now, but we are going to keep you tonight, at least, to monitor you. We ran some tests and did an ultrasound. Gabriella, you have a condition called placenta previa. This means..."

I watch Gabby's blood drain from her face and her expression was unreadable, but it was clear, she knew what this meant... and the tears she'd been holding back since waking up are falling down her cheeks. "I know, I know what it means..." She whispers, cutting the doctor off. Dr. Jenson falls silent as she watches Gabby process this all and it's obvious she is well aware of her situation, of how dangerous this pregnancy just became. "The baby..." She finally whispers, "Is the baby, okay?"

"The baby is fine. He has a strong heartbeat and everything is looking good, ten fingers, ten toes. We are monitoring him closely, as well, just to be sure." Gabby can only nod at this. Dr. Jenson pulls her stool over to Gabby's bed and sits down beside her, becoming eye level with her. "Now, Gabby, I know that you know what this means, but I need to be sure that you completely understand what happens from here on out with this condition. Pending your release from the hospital you will be on complete bed rest for the rest of your pregnancy. Absolutely no physical activity, and we do recommend that there is someone at home with you to monitor you and that that person is someone capable of driving you to the hospital if anything were to happen. It is very likely that re-bleeding will occur either before delivery or during delivery. We will be seeing you more often once you leave the hospital. We will be changing your appointments to twice a week to start with and once we are closer to your due date we will be seeing you once a week to be sure that the placenta has not moved any further over the cervix. I know this is all scary Gabriella, but we are going to do everything we can for you and the baby."

Gabby still has tears slowly falling down her cheeks and I grab her hand in mine and squeeze it tightly and can't stop the thought in my head that Matt should be here right now. Gabby is silent for awhile and then I see her shake her head, almost confused. "I don't, I don't understand how this happened... I had bleeding early on in my pregnancy... and they never caught it then." Gabby says softly, trying to process her words and it's then that I see where her thought process is going and it breaks my heart. "Did I... did I cause this? Was it not there then and I..."

"Gabby... There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. Once the placenta has set so low on the uterus there is no reversing it. It's not your fault. The bleeding you had early in your pregnancy was possibly from this, it was just too early to see that this is what was causing it and we chalked it up to stress... There is nothing you could have done. But what you can do now is just take care of yourself, and when the time comes, let us take care of you."

Gabby can only nod and I can see how much this has all shaken her. First Matt, and now all of this, it was a lot for one person, even if they were as tough as Gabby Dawson. Dr. Jenson squeezes Gabby's shoulder and lets her know to give her a page if she needs anything and then she is leaving the room and it is only Antonio and I left with her.

Antonio walks to her other side and takes her hand as he takes a seat. "Lo siento mucho, Gabriella." I hear him say softly and I know he is apologizing for more than just the condition that she is in now. I watch as Gabby nods and squeezes his hand, but is still at a lost for words, and I see it. I see the look still there in her eyes. She was terrified... but she was also blaming herself. Antonio sits up and kisses her head before letting her know he is going to go let the others know that she is awake.

I take a seat beside her then and never let my hand leave hers. I give it a tight squeeze, but say nothing, waiting for her to make the first move and tell me what was going on in her head. Only a couple minutes pass before she is letting out a shaky breath and I look up to see the tears once again in her eyes. "Kelly..." She breathes out. "Matt... he, he has to make it out of this, he has to be okay. For the baby..." I look at her in confusion, not expecting that to be what was on her mind at the moment. The tone in her voice unsettled me.

"Of course, Gabs... We both know Matt is going to fight like hell to get back to both of you." I clarify and that only seems to shift her mood even more.

She shakes her head slowly and closes her eyes, once she opens them tears are sliding down her cheeks. "Kelly, the doctor... she's trying to be cautious with her words... but the truth is, if there is any rebleeding during the birth, they are going to have a hard time stopping it. I could die... and so could the baby."

I swallow thickly, but I can't form words. I knew this was dangerous just from what the doctor had explained, but Gabby's words... They strike something in me. The tears I'd been holding in all day long can no longer be stopped and are slowly falling down my cheeks. "Gabs..." I whisper. It's about the only thing I can get out. And then she is completely breaking down as if her own words are finally registering and hitting her at full force and I am out of my seat and on the side of the bed pulling her into my arms and holding her close and letting my own tears continue.

How the hell did this all happen? How did we go from celebrating mother's day two weeks ago to Dawson telling me she might now live to be a part of this baby's life? How did we go from making homemade baby furniture to Matt lying in a hospital bed getting bullets taken out of his chest? And how the hell did I go from having three best friends last year to two and now on the brink of losing them all?

Matt had to be okay. Gabby had to be okay. The baby had to be okay. I wasn't ready to lose any of them. Not now, not ever. Looking back at the last week and how stressful everything had been I have to hold in a sigh. Matt and I had been fighting about the crap going on in the firehouse, and at this point, I could care less about all of it. I just wanted my best friend to be okay, and I hated that if he wasn't, my last words to him would have been angry ones. And Gabby... God, she'd wormed her way into my heart as she had everyone else. We'd spent a lot of time together, especially the past few months and she was like a sister to me, my best friend. I loved her dearly and I couldn't imagine a life without her.

I couldn't imagine a life without any of them... I didn't think anyone of us could.


End file.
